Balance Act III

The plan was to stay home.  Do 5 loads of laundry, wash dishes, bake cookies with The Boy, take a nap, and watch movies.  It started out o.k.  Both kiddies slept in 1-hr longer than usual.  They're tired too from all this.  I call to check how The Husband is doing.   Did he get dialysis?  The nurse's response was "weren't you here yesterday?".  What?!?  That set me off!  I still try to stay calm and explain that I was told in the morning he would be going in the afternoon, but he still hadn't received any when I left late afternoon.  A curt "yes, he got it" was her response.  Also,  Franklin pulled out one of the tubes. WTF??  Why?!  This b!t3h wasn't explaining anything.

I didn't want to bother W again considering everything she and my nieces have done for me.  Niecey had plans today.  But, fearing the worst I had to get down there.  I would bring the baby in with me if I had to.  I call W to ask her to drive down with me again.  As much as I hate to burden her again and the guilt I feel, I put that all aside because I need to find out what's happening to my Darling!  I woke her up (add another lbs of guilt) and explain the situation.  I start crying.  I am afraid of not knowing and thinking the worst.

She is a pillar of strength.  She calms me down.  Helps me line up what I need to get done so I can get going.  Feed baby.  Pump milk.  Dress children.  Arrange Marcus care.  Did I eat?  I wouldn't have even thought of that to even be put on the list!  I am determined to get going.

I pack up the car and drive over to get W.  I am ready to tear someone up!  If anything has happened to my Darling the poor person who has to explain it to me will feel my wrath.  Don't get it twisted.  I may live in the suburbs now, but I done grow up downtown.   I am angry and someone will pay.

To my surprise Niecey has canceled her plans and coming with us (add more lbs of guilt and burden).  I push all my emotions of guilt, burden, fear, and anger aside.  None of those emotions are helping matters.  I feel empty.

As we drive down Franklin calls.  His mom is there.  He is o.k.  He didn't even know he pulled out the tube.  It's been put back.  The journey to recovery continues.

I feel emotionally drained.