I must be a total nutcase. A glutton for punishment. I would love to have a third child.
Life with a toddler and baby is challenging. The sleep deprivation. Food differences. Laundry (mainly because of the amount of baby barf). Trying to pack everyone up to go out takes at around an hour. Feeding. Diapers. Bucket car seat. Diaper bag. Snacks. Cell phone. I'm sure it could be done faster. I just haven't mastered it yet I guess. Any parents with kids would agree it can be tough at times. Very much worth it when they say "thank you mommy". or when they come out of no where and hug you and tell you they love you. My heart melts each time I see him smile, when he gives me a high-five when he's proud of something he's done. A house full of laughter and even sibling bickering (I'm sure I'll eat my words to that for sure) sounds like an awesome future.
I've always wanted three kids. If I had to do this baby chapter in my life all over again, I wish I started a few years earlier. I knew it was a lifetime commitment of sacrifice for their success and happiness. No more ridiculous spending. Those are all earmarked for their future. I listed most of it in my
Luxury, decadence, or just nasty? post. I wasn't ready. I still wanted to party. Spend money frivolously. Head out to the Casino on a whim. We were living as
DINKS and it was great. But, as most woman can agree, the metaphorical internal clock was starting to DING! DONG! really loudly.
We were nervous at first. When he started peritoneal dialysis years ago, the doctors said that dialysis could lead to infertility. We froze sperm when we heard that. Fortunately we didn't need it. First try...is all I'm saying. :) How so very blessed were we. So many other dialysis patients are not as fortunate. This fracking disease will steal your life, but also your future line too. I hate kidney failure.
But, I digress. I want a third child because I would love to have a little girl. I love my boys. They have each other to be friends with. I knew I always wanted at least two. Sadly, we will not be around forever. So, I wanted to ensure
someone will be around that will HAVE TO love you. That is what family is all about. LOL I was able to reuse all of Boy 1's clothes on Boy 2.
Unfortunately, I did not start early enough. To have a third child I considered higher risk. That, and the glaring reality that Franklin would not be able to help as much as he would like. If I find it tough when he's sick and dealing with my two boys, it would only be madness if I was to have another. Yet, I still want to. No one is on board with this idea. Not my parents nor my husband. My parents are not getting any younger. They have been a main support system when I am at my darkest. They help pick Franklin up from the hospital, watch my toddler, cook food - when I just had Baby 2, when Franklin is in the hospital, when Franklin gets out and she makes special nutritious Chinese soups, and just to talk. My favourite brother also thinks it's an asinine idea. I have my plate full as it is.
My mom was done having kids by the age I just started. I also want to retire by 55, no later than 60, but really, now would be good too. I actually would love to have 4 kids, but would settle for 3. But, is my fate to have only 2 be my reality?
Sadly, I think so. But, I'll try to wear down Franklin and plant "Daddy's little girl" ideas. mwhahaha
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