￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil

It's almost time to pimp my ass for a pay cheque.  Going back to work to get paid by The Man in the corporate world so my family can enjoy new clothes, good food, toys, and hopefully a vacation can be snuck in there too.  And dear I dream to retire early.  I'll probably still work, but only because I want to, not because I have to.

As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs.  We don't really need for anything.  We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc.  But, which kid doesn't want another toy?  Which husband doesn't want more golf anything?  And which wife doesn't want more everything?

Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early.  A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing.   You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month.   I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later.  I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before.  Probably a bit too often.

But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby.  I love the freedom to breast feed on demand.  To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing.  I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands.  Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy.  I'd love to stay at home with the kids.  Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to.  I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home.   I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home.  It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.

I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son.  I only hope that I'm doing a good job.  I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding.  Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future.  I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.

People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out.  I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches.  But, for me, there is no decision to make.  I have to go back.  Money is a necessary evil in this world.  It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want.   Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself.  The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day.  I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like.  Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart.  It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive.  He's here as a loving husband and father.

Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor.  Travel the world like the slums of xyz,  then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country.  Oh Canada!  We have free health care.  Welfare.  Public housing. Food Banks.  Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world.  Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things.  If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills?  Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank?  If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you?  Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.

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Haters are gonna Hate

One of my Darlings called me the other day to rant about her youth life.  It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but is teenage life ever that?  Sadly, there are a few haters in her school that are giving her a hard time.  My MaMa Bear instinct kicked in and I wanted to go down there and kick all those biatches azzes!  Excuse the language.  When I need to throw down, the ignorant girl in me comes out.

I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse.  Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right?  Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?!  I try being the "cool" aunt.  I listen.  I try to relate.  I did let a couple of swear words slip out.  Real mature.  I know. :P

I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down.  FuKc them.  Don't bother with foolishness.  Surround yourself with only positive solid people.  Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you.  They never go away.  You'll have them at school.  At work.  At the gym.  At the club.  At the park.  At your kid's activities.  Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that.   Don't get sucked into their b.s.

With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated.  Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns.  Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them.   When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.  Do we go to  her principal?  Do I tell her parents?  Do we call the girl's  parents?  Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?

It's a fine line sometimes.  Some people need to be put in their place.  Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business.  You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow.   But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done.  They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.

How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school.  My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'.  Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst.  Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?

I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days.  All I know is I don't business with them people no more.  I left the drama.  I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face.  I'm married with children living in the suburbs.  I don't have time for that b.s.

No more drama.

note:  check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II.  Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!).  His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.

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First Foods

I love that I am able to stay home for the first year of my baby's life.  To be able to give him the best start in his health with breast milk, but to also be able to watch all the milestones so far:

• following me with his eyes


• being able to hold his head up


• grasping items in his little hands


• turning over


• finding his feet and eating them


• smiling & laughing

Another big one coming up is feeding him his first taste of food.  How exciting!

• peas


• carrots


• squash


• sweet potato


• zucchini


• rutabaga


• pears


• apples


• hard-boiled eggs


• bread

BRING ON THE MESS!

I made food for my first-born.  Well, eventually.  When the time came (anywhere between 4-6 months depending on the baby and their cues. Good head control, a growing appetite, and interest in what you're eating are all indications that your baby is ready to try solids.)  I wanted to make him food.  Well, I dilly and dallied, I didn't know what to start with, and poor baby still hadn't had any solid food.  So, I caved and bought a couple of jarred stuff.  So, many choices!  He ate.  He made a mess. We took pictures.  By the 3rd jar I wondered if the puree peas tasted as bad as it looked.  It did!

After tasting that disgusting flavour, there was no way I was going to feed my baby that processed garbage when I wouldn't eat it myself.  Don't get me wrong.  When I was in a pinch, it'll have to do.  But, making my own was so easy and rewarding.  I have a steamer with a built-in timer, so that made it super easy.  It also helps to reduce losing the vegetables/fruits nutrients compared to over boiling it.  Bust out the hand blender and voilà!  Home made delicious baby food.  No salt.  No preservatives.  Made in sterile equipment with clean hands using organic fruits and vegetables.

I even organized a baby food swap party at my place.  Moms brought a fruit/vegetable and ice cube trays or baby food freezer try (like an ice-cube try, but holds one ounce per hole and comes with a sealable lid).  You come with one, you leave with a variety of foods.  We got to learn from each other, laughed, and were able to spend time together.  I was so lucky to find 10 wonderful women back then.  All of our children were close in age.  All were down to earth.  Kind. Generous. Funny.  Friendly.  We met during a parenting group offered by the government facilitated by a registered nurse.  It was perfect for first time moms.  What to expect for sleeping, postpartum, teeth, food, etc  After the session ended, we still met up once a week at someone's house. Then slowly, one by one, we went back to work.   Sadly, money is a necessary evil (Post named the same thing to follow soon.  Exploring maternity leave and going back to work.  A decision for every woman.  Sometimes not really a decision as there is no other choice)

But, I digress.  Back to baby food.   To heat up an ounce of my frozen, nutritious, home-made love, I would heat it up in a hot water bath.  Put a bit of boiled water in a bowl.  Put a smaller bowl on top.  Put food into smaller bowl.  Within ~5-minutes the food has melted and a little warm.  No microwaves.  It will leave hot spots that might burn precious baby. One type of food every 4-7 days.  That way if baby has a bad reaction to a food than you'll know which one.  After I would start combing the flavours.  Squash and peas.  Carrots and potatoes.  The poos reflected that.  Is all I'm saying :P

Of course congee is on the menu.  Over cooked rice made into a porridge, flavoured with ground meat or fish.  i.e. beef, turkey, chicken, pork, salmon.  So good for baby.  Great when you are not feeling well, ie cold, stomach flu.  Or anytime for a meal.  Congee Wong.  Congee Queen.  Noodle houses.  Dim Sum.  Congee is everywhere!

I'll post a congee recipe if you would like.  Let me know.  Have any funny baby feeding stories?  Let me know.

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Monkey Mix

After watching that train wreck of a family, Jon & Kate Plus 8, in their early episodes where Kate is making Monkey Munch, I always wanted to try it.  The name alone sounded fun.  Well, I finally got around to Googleing it and found several hundred links.  Below is the original recipe.  I do urge you to read my notes because I have some awesome suggestions.

The result is a coating of peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness.  My pregnant neighbour ate a whole bowl!  It's tastes AWESOME!

Ingredients:

• 9 cups Chex cereal (any kind)


• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted (6oz.)


• 1/2 cup smooth peanut butter, melted


• 1/4 cup butter, melted


• 1 -2 teaspoon vanilla


• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Measure cereal in large bowl.


2. Set aside.


3. Microwave chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter for 1 minute on high.


4. Stir.


5. Cook for 30 seconds longer or until smooth.


6. Add vanilla.


7. Pour mixture over cereal, stirring until coated.


8. Pour mixture into large Ziploc bag and add powdered sugar.


9. Shake until well coated.


10. Spread on waxed paper to cool.


11. Store in Ziploc bags or large sealed bowl.

My notes:

• I used a bunch of different cereals, nuts, and pretzels to make up the 9-cups of Chex as in the original recipe:

1. 4-cups Quaker Corn Bran Squares since no Chex USA style up here. If you use Crispex like in my Snack Mix Recipe it will just break up and you're left with a bunch of crumbs


2. 2-cups Multi-Grain Cheerios


3. 2-cups pretzels (to get a sweet and salty flavour)


4. 2-cups Shreddies (trying to add fiber where I can)

• I used milk chocolate chips instead of semi-sweet because that's all I had on hand.  It still tasted awesome.


• Try using Nutella instead of peanut butter


• Instead of Chocolate Chips, try using Butterscotch chips, or even White Chocolate Chips


• I used parchment paper instead of wax because that's all I had on hand.


• Maybe some dried cranberries?


• 1-cup nuts (I like the crunch of nuts.  You can try peanuts, almonds, cashews, etc)


• Someone suggested not using butter, which I tried using less, but the mixture was too thick.  The butter makes it more liquidy and easier to spread over the cereal mixture


• If you don't have a big ziplock bag, use small ones (just more hassle though since you have to do batches).  Try using a paper bag with the seams at the bottom taped up.  Or just keep it in big bowls and toss to mix the powered sugar


• I tried using 1-cup of powdered sugar, but gradually added a bit more 1/4 cup at a time until all my chocolate was coated

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Discipline

Did you get the beats when you were little?  Or did you stand in the corner? When I say 'beats' I don't mean abuse.  Abuse is WRONG.  I don't mean closed hands, bleeding, or broken bones.  I mean discipline.  Don't get it twisted.  If you are hurting your children you need to stop immediately and get help.

How Franklin's parents raised him was definitely different than how I was raised.   Also, the dynamics were different.  I was the only girl and my brothers were 9+years older.

When I was young until my early teens it would be the beats.  Anybody else get hit with a Chinese feather duster?  At first I would get hit until I cried.  Then I would cry right away to try and lesson the blows.  ha!  What was just evil was when I had to go get it so she could hit me with it.  \I am not alone who received this type of beats.  They have a group on FB for this.  My mom was the disciplinarian.  Well, they both were, but my mom was the one who doled out the punishment since Dad worked outside of the house.  Then when I got older, I would like to categorize it as |Asian guilt.  The shame of not honouring your parents and being a good girl.  You know.  Why a B grade and not an A?  My parents were not mega strict.  I mean, the expectations were there, but after a certain age, they gave me the freedom to make choices.  Sometimes they were the right ones.  Sometimes not.  But, they gave me the guidance in my younger days.  And when I got older, I had to decide.

Now, as Marcus is testing his limits, I am in a position of disciplining him.  No feather duster here.  We do do the time outs.  Then get down to eye level and talk about why he was put in time out.  By the third time of telling him not to flick his brother, he might get a 'tap' on the hand.   It's funny in a 'oh no you didn't' kind of way when you tell him not to do something, then he'll try and do it when you are not looking.  But, of course as a parent you have a spidey sense and you watch him out of the corner of your eye as he looks to see if you are watching while he touches his brother one more time.

Sometimes he is stubborn.  He really feels like he is justified in doing ABC and doesn't understand why he can't.  He'll try and make deals.  "Mom, we'll just eat one more candy, then diaper, teeth, books, go to bed.  Deal?"  Well, good on you son.  You don't give up and you try and negotiate what you want.  You're not going to get it, but you try.  Good job.  Well, you can have it tomorrow.  Hopefully you'll forget about promised candy.  Yeah right  :P

We'll help guide him to make the right choices and steer him back on the path with the 'right' discipline.   He'll make mistakes.  I prefer to call them life lessons.  He'll push the boundaries, but we'll still set them to let him know what is 'acceptable'.  Then when he has a choice to make and we're not there to give him a time out, hopefully he'll make the right choice.

Do you have any childhood memories of being disciplined by your parents?  Please feel free to share a memory of you being disciplined or you disciplining your kids.

Check out Parent or Friend or Both post too

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On time

I tried.  I swear I tried hard.  Back in my youth I would show up when I was ready.  Sometimes (if not usually) about 2 hrs after I'm supposed to be there.  Even for my own birthday!  If I had to be somewhere at x o'clock, that's when I would start to get ready.  I would rush to shower, choose what to wear, do my hair and make-up, and then head out the door.  I'd speed along to get to where I was supposed to be.  If it was out of the downtown core, I'd for sure get lost.  I rushed through my prep time.  I'd speed along in my car.  But, I'd still be pretty late.  Now, if you tried to call and see where the heck am I, I'd tell you I'm almost there, but more likely than not, I haven't even left my house.  Sorry!  In my head I tried.  I rushed for goodness sake.

Well, Franklin and his Air Cadets career has left him to be a stickler about being on time.  With a baby and toddler I feel I have a legitimate reason for running at least 15 minutes behind.  Diaper and potty stops.  Top up the baby with MaMa's milk.  Pack a snack of Shreddies, Crispex, Gold's pretzel sticks, multi-grain crackers, or fruit.  Watered down apple juice in his water bottle.  A small assortment of toys, play dough, ds, ipod with Calliou videos, etc to keep him in his seat at the restaurant.  Boots. Coats.  Hat. Mitts.  Buckle baby into bucket car seat.  That's a minimum of 30-45 mins.  if I'm lucky.

If we arrive within 15 minutes of where ever we are supposed to be I think that's acceptable.  Usually we're less than that because of Franklin's military ways.  Hurry up!  It's x:xx!  It's x:xy!  Come ON!  We might get there 'on time', but who the hell needs that kind of stress?!?  Give me a break!  I'd rather be a few minutes late and not be totally stressed out than be on time and miserable.

I'm just about ready to tell The Husband to go ahead and we'll meet him there.  How nice it must be to go out and warm the car while I pack up everything.  Yes, I could forego the toys, snack, breast milk top up,  but it's just going to be harder later.  Marcus cannot sit in his seat at a restaurant for more than 45 minutes.  I slowly dole out the toys in 15-20 minute increments to bide our time.  If I don't pack a healthy snack, we just end up buying garbage from some where to tide him over while we are out.  It's hard enough for kids to eat healthy in this day and age.  So, when I have him in the car with no distractions and hungry, a healthy snack is ALWAYS eaten.  And a top up is easier than driving with a screaming baby or whipping out the boob in the car or restaurant.

Just this morning I had to be somewhere super early.  She said to be there for 7:30 am so we could get breakfast before we go.  I told myself 7:15am.  She called at 7:21am and I hadn't even left the house yet nor dropped off kid 1!  She said not to rush and just get there by 8am.  I pack up the car.  Pack in kid 1 and than kid 2 (can't wait for them to strap themselves in).  Drop off kid 1 and go meet my friend.  Was there by 7:58am!  Hell Yeah!!   She said 8am for next time would still be good to make it to our destination.  I was like "Dude!  I told myself 7:15am.  Let's keep it there".

Either I tell myself I have to be there at T-1 o'clock or do like back when I was younger and not married with children, set my clock ahead so I would be running late, but show up 'on time'.

Preparation is better than reaction.  In traveling with the kiddies and in life.  Well, as prepared as much as can be.  Sometimes $h!t happens and you have to adapt and go with the flow.

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Friend or Parent or Both?

So, my Darling asks her friend "how are things with your mom?".  The girl answers "Better.  She's more my friend than mom".   Her answer sparked an emotion in me.  Not sure if it's admiration or disapproval.  Some of her choices are every parents nightmare, but judge not lest ye be judged...something about throwing rocks when you live in a glass house...I get it.  It's just that it made me wonder what my relationship will be as my children grow older.

When I was little my parents were my world.  I was daddy's little girl and he took me everywhere.  I only recognized later that it was my mom's sacrifice to stay back and watch the store we owned that allowed my dad the freedom to take me places.

To me, my parents were parents.  I wasn't allowed to sleep over at anyone's house except for my cousins.  I'd get beat with the feather duster or whatever else was closer, pending the severity of my disobedience.  I'm not saying it was abuse.  I was not  bleeding nor unconscious.  As I grew into my teenage years there was no acceptance for coming home drunk or smoking.  They were not the 'cool' parents who would let me drink alcohol at home with my buddies.  I've heard the saying "I'd rather them get drunk at my home so I can see what's going on".   I'm still on the fence about that.  What's your take??

When I went through University I would still go home no matter what time it was.  I just wanted my own bed.  I think that was a direct result of not being allowed to sleep out when I was younger.  Only if I was really polluted would I sleep it off at some dorm or friend's place.  When I started to hit a rave/after-hours or two, then I started sleeping out.  But, at least by then I was older and a bit more mature.  I remember at one party, this girl was on all sorts of chemicals and she was ONLY fifteen.  I thought to myself, if she's all messed up like this at 15 how is she going to get her buzz on when she's 20?!?  Can you say future crack/coke head...

Back then I thought my parents were so lame.  So strict.  They didn't understand how hard it was to be a teenager.  But, now I see that they put all those restrictions because they love and care about my safety.  If they didn't care what time I came home I'd be like that 15-yr old flying high as a kite and out at 5:30am.

Teenagers are going to push the limits.  So, I'll be setting limits and rules.  They are going to cross them.  I accept that.  But, hopefully it's not too far over and I'm bailing them out of jail, nor having them get some girl pregnant nor move out at 16 nor selling drugs or their body.  I don't plan on being a total hardass and they rebel right out the door.  Hopefully, there will be a  patience, communication, and respect from both sides.

Now, as an adult, I seek their advice and opinion.  I value the life lessons they have to offer.  I can only hope that I raise my kids as wells as my parents have raised me.

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What type of relationship should a parent have with their child?  What was your like with your parents?

Care TOO Much

Have you ever been infatuated with someone who you've forgotten who you are?  All of a sudden the activities, thoughts, and people who filled your days have changed.  Now, it is all about Him/Her.

When you're a teenager or young adult it may happen very quickly.   One day you see your family every day and night.  Then BAM!  Your parents wonder if you live there anymore.  Maybe you lose yourself slowly.  You and your best friend would hang every other day.  Then slowly it's once a week.  Then you only see them every other weekend.   And POOF!  They wonder if you've been kidnapped by your boyfriend because they never see you anymore.  When they do see you, it's always "where have you been?".

He used to come call on you every weekend, ring you down every night, and text you in between.   Now, you're doing all the travelling, calling, emailing, and texting.  I get that you like him, but remember that every relationship is a bit of give and take.  If you're giving all the time, sometimes you need to hold back and get some.  It is a cat and mouse game.  Thank gawd I'm not dating anymore, but when you are young you're still figuring out what relationships are all about.  Is he worth your time and effort or is he just using you?

Young or old, even when things are not right, some still stay because they don't want to be alone.  Valentines is right around the corner.  Or maybe it's Christmas/New Year's and you don't want to be alone then either.  But, trust that you are not alone.  Be it God, your family, your friends, or even your pet, will give you a hug when you need it.  It's way better than sticking around and wasting months/years of your life and maybe even wasting a better guy that may come along, but you're too involved to see it.

Then suddenly you are not young anymore.  You're married with children and you care only about them.  Clubbing?  I can't even remember those days.  Even playing pool, dinner out, or movies with the ladies seem like distant memories.  I've put The Husband and Kidney Disease on top of my priorities for 10+years.  Then the kids trumped him and they've taken up the hierarchy.  Where does my sanity, sleep, and beauty time blend into this?  It hasn't.  I've bailed on so many that I don't bother to make plans or commit because I don't want to bail yet again and disappoint people (but, if I'm honest to myself, I'm the one who doesn't want to be disappointed). 

Now that Franklin's more stable with his dialysis, I have joined Zumba.  Not a big deal to many, but for me it was one of my first commitments to myself to make ME a priority.  Remember that YOU are number one.  Why do you think air lines instruct that should the plane go down that you should fight every instinct to take care of your Precious and put the oxygen mask on yourself.  If you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. 

So that I can have more patience with my kids, husband, and dealing with the bad days of Kidney Disease, I must not care too much to the point that I am not caring for myself. 

Remember that you must care about yourself, before you can really care about others.

Fish and Chips Diet

Is your partner dieting?  Is it tough?  I've documented some of my own dieting dramatics like how Franklin f-uped my breakfast order and I was kinda pissed about it post, temptations, and my biggest loser challenges from the beginning, a few of my loses, and my couple of wins.  The Diet Days have not been easy.

What makes it even more difficult is my 'supportive' husband.  His weight has  been all over the map for years in direct correlation to his health and kidney problems.  He has been as low as 120-lbs to 170-lbs.  Right now, we're in better days, so he is not on his mega restrictive potassium-phosphate-sodium-calcium-protein balanced diet.  It's a lot harder than you realize when you can't even eat too many bananas, canned anything (even sauce has a lot of salt), ice cream, potatoes, etc  So, eating Popeyes, Swiss Chalet, McDonald's and the like is second nature for him now that he  can.

We should cook more often at home.  But, now that I'm on maternity leave, cooking EVERY meal can be too much work and I'm just not that good of a cook.  I ask him what he wants to do for dinner he says "how about fish and chips?" I kind of just LOST IT!  Dude, I'm on a diet!!  Do you know what that means?  UGGHH!  Do you know what being SUPPORTIVE means?  It means not suggesting deep-fried for our meal.  It means getting my order right for breakfast so I'm eating healthier instead of dripping liquid sugar all over it.  It means eating the healthy crap with me.  Yeah, I know I'm being a bit 'extra', but being hungry all the time gets some getting used to.  No wonder they call big people 'jolly'.  They are happy from all the food they are eating.

When I'm back to my pre-baby weight (never quite lost it all from baby 1 so before baby 2 I was already behind the 8-ball) and sporting some hoe-esque inspired outfit for his eyes only, he'll realize all my unpleasantness was worth it.

Now go peel me some carrots!  MaMa needs a snack!

Biggest Loser Update - I'm $5 Richer! W00t!!

I walk through the door and the mind battle begins.  He wants to do the weigh-in right away.  "Come on, lets weigh-in!  You're going down."  Considering he lost 5-lbs last weigh-in I wasn't feeling too confidant.  It doesn't help when I hear Franklin says "hey, you lost weight.  your belly isn't hanging over your pants anymore".  My husband speaks my family's language. haha  I suggest we just end this contest.  It is hard and losing sucks.  Dad of course yanks me back to why I'm doing this.  It doesn't matter if I lose $5.  If I lose weight I've ''won'.  Yeah, whatever (in petulant child tone).

We go make our rounds around the house to say hello to everyone first.  Once into the kitchen I see my mom is cooking up one of my favourites amongst many good dishes.  Curry beef (THE best), jerk pork, baby bok choy, cashew chicken, deep fried shrimp wontons, and one of my niece's favourite (not sure what it's called). I wanted to nibble while we waited for everyone else to arrive because it's my day to not hold back and feast on mom's delicious home cooking.

Let's DO THIS!!  Come on fat boy, lets weigh-in.  I wanna eat!  I'm on the scale & I think I'm haven't gained or lost from last time.  Come on. Come on.  Let's get it over with.  Before he even comes into the bathroom (because no one else is allowed to know my weight.  Gotta keep the husband disillusioned)  he's admitted defeat and given Franklin $5.  Dough Boy has gained 3-lbs.  mawhahaha  After updating our log book I see I've LOST 2-lbs.  W00t!

It is still hard to be mindful of not indulging so often.  It has become easier to eat more veggies (if it's there).  I try to fill up on that so I'm not overloading on carbs, sugar, and fat.  I realise now that I love carbs.  Rice (of course), pasta, potato, or bread.  One of those is in every meal and has so much calories.

I added 20-minute rowing sessions to my calorie burning repertoire (thanks Mike from pirates and ninjas for the blog shout out, or should I be giving thanks to the Word of the Day calendar).  It's not consistent.  IF my favourite brother is home, then I'll head over with Marcus to sing/yell off-key and burn off just under 200 calories.  I tried going over on my own, but Marcus says it's 'too loud' and wants me to go upstairs with him.  So, not helpful.

I will gloat while I can.  I just had an Egg McMuffin combo (no cheese, no butter).  I earned it (in self-righteous-next-weeks-payer tone)!

Now, to go bake Banana Bread with The Boy.

No strings attached - yeah right :P

Funny, how this particular title received the highest votes in my poll about what to blog about next.  Many of you naughty readers probably thought it may have dirty desires like the current No Strings Attached movie starring Ashton Kutcher now.   Everyone knows that you cannot have a 'friend with benefits' relationship, and think no one will eventually grow feelings.  But, hey, maybe you are both married, have too much to lose, and have lost the spark in the bedroom.  I"m just saying...HAHA  You'll just be dealing with a Fatal Attraction.

Actually, my No Strings Attached idea was inferring about items received for free from someone.  It's the plot for every mobster movie.  They give you something and then BAM!  They are calling on a 'favour' from you.  And of course you are obliged to do whatever it is they ask, otherwise be labeled a greedy jerk for taking and not giving.

Well, I'm not sure what life you're living, but I'm not dealing with mobsters.  I am however a paranoid pessimist, so when someone offers something, I always have in the back of my mind "what do they want from me?" or more likely "what's in it for YOU?".  Sure, we could always believe in the good intentions they have.  And more than likely that is where their generosity is coming from.  But, when their back is against the wall (and for some, just the opportunity), then they'll start calling in all their good deeds. And I don't want to be on that calling list.

Well, if you're going to give something to me, don't expect something in return.  I will give you something because I want to not because I have to.  And when I give you something it's because I want to share with you, or help you alleviate some stress, or you might be helping me!  I give you some clothes because I have a hoarding problem (are you a hoarder too? check out my Hoarder post) and have to clear out my closet.  Giving something with no strings attached, be it sex, clothes, furniture, food,etc., can happen.  Both parties will mutually benefit.

It's just that pesky expectation that some have that will leave an ugly feeling.  It's happened one too many times and has left me jaded.  I have moments of believing, but when I hear "well, I gave you...." I kick myself for being so gullible and naive to think they were giving it out of the kindness of their heart.  I still believe that there are some selfless people out there, but if I'm honest with myself, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and they come calling for something.

To be forever indebted is too high a  price for me.  Let me give you EVERYTHING back.  Ungrateful?  Not from where I'm sitting, but perhaps your perspective feels different?  I will not succumb to obligation nor public expectation.  So, if you're going to give something to me, give it with no strings attached otherwise you'll be sadly disappointed when you come to call in a favour from me.  And I'll do the same.

Deal?

What's Next??

Blog. Blog. Blog.  I have tons of ideas that I want to write about.  Sometimes, inspiration comes from my life, your life, the news, TV, observations while I'm out, surfing the net, even FB posts!  It takes just one word,a sentence, an action, an expression on someone's face, to spark a fire within my head and heart.  I jot down the idea, sometimes it's just a title or an example, so I can flush out the thoughts later.

Some feelings and ideas are just so "there" that the words just flow out of my fingertips and the post is completed within minutes.  Sort of like the I HATE YOU post.  I was furious and just needed to get it out of my heart.  I don't want that kind of ugliness lingering around, hence I blog.  I used to write on a piece of paper/a diary/even the back of an envelope, just so I can get it out of my system and release myself from the drudgery of poisonous emotions.  Now, I can "embarrass" myself for the world to read.  (The World...aren't I modest LOL...a girl can Like, Comment, and a Dream right?)

Do you ever get a thought or idea, be it positive or negative, in your head and it just repeats itself over and over and over.  Even a compliment about how I've lost weight can take a sinister turn and all of a sudden "I'm so fat.  Look at my thunder thighs.  I'm huge.  I've got a big belly.  I need to lose weight.  My arms wave" are on repeat in my head.  It's not always so negative.  It could also go "You hot, girl.  Working out is paying off.  Need new clothes for this skinny body.  Have to get a mani/pedi.  Look good.  Feeling GREAT!  They noticed!  They noticed!".  Crazy.  I know.  Hence why I blog to analyze and move on.

Well, these  ideas are starting to build up.  I've got a list of Draft posts waiting to be explored and posted.  There are so many now that I don't know what should be next.  I pulled up the list and it seems like so many, that I just start a new one about something else and leave these behind.

They are all worthy of my thoughts and emotions that I will put into them.  Sometimes. I just don't have time or it's because the emotions involved while I write them are just too heavy.  Like how we found out Franklin had kidney problems post in response from just an  inquiry from a friend.  It took me a while to write it because I didn't want to feel the fear, disappointment, nor anger again.  I've always wanted to document our kidney journey.  The emotions.  The milestones.  Her question helped kick the dust off.

It's funny how it starts with an idea, and as I write, I ramble on and by the end of the post, I'm left with a whole different perspective and/or emotion.  Quite the amusement ride and I Love it!

Below is the lengthy list of posts waiting to be blogged about.  For most, the title gives you the basic idea.  For the others, well, you'll just have to choose and see!  Exciting??  LOL...to me it is.  I know.  I'm lame :P

What would you like to read about next??:

1. Organ Trafficking - A Dialysis Patient's Perspective


2. Cancer Caps - Warriors and Survivors Should be Stylish TOO!


3. Fish and Chips Diet


4. Another Year - Still Stuck With Him - Reflection of the Last Year


5. From Both Ends - Return of the POO and MORE!


6. No Strings Attached - yeah right :P


7. The Novelty has Worn OFF - or has it??


8. ￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil


9. Diet Basics


10. MaMa's Milk


11. Parent, Friend or Both


12. Say it. Forget it.  Write it. Regret it.


13. Dialysis at Sea - Possible?

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Second and third helpings please!

I am watching way too much reality TV.  Particularly the ones dealing with food.  Not sure if it has any correlation with my current dieting state.  The old "you want what you can't have" adage.  For me, I want food.  For you, maybe it's a bit more out of your reach.  A man/woman?  A motorcycle?  World travel for a year?

One show I have to stop watching is Man vs Food.  I still think it's way too much.  Well, most of the time.  I think I'm becoming desensitized to the amount of food that would considered disturbing.  Yikes!  12 egg omelet.  Is that really so bad?  Who doesn't eat bacon and home fries with their eggs?  So what if the total weight including the cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, peppers, and green onions total 5-lbs.  The vegetables don't count.  Add those to the 'eating healthy' category.  And the 'lying to yourself' category too. lol

Watching Cupcake Wars or baking competitions, just puts me in the mood for some form of baked good.  Cookie, cake, bar, muffin, whatever!

Sadly, even some disgusting combos sound possible.  Check out this site This is Why You're Fat Pretty funny.

If I suspend my disbelief of the caloric intake for just one meal I can actually enjoy my wings, chili, pizza, chip & dip, and desserts.  Hey, suspension of disbelief is the foundation of most of Hollywood movies.  LaLaLand can't be wrong. Right?!  haha

You can pretend years of over-eating, debauchery, smoking, recreational drug use, spending beyond your means, etc is o.k., but it will all catch up it you one day.  You'll end up broke, fat, with some form of organ damage.

I said years of abuse.  This weekend is OK though.  Diet Schmiet

[polldaddy poll=4558935]

All I want for Valentines is...

In my youth I bought into all the commercialized brain washing of expectations from my Valentine.  You know.  Godiva chocolates, long stem roses, Gund doll, mushy card, expensive dinner and dessert, drinks at 51st floor of the Manulife Centre's Panorama to enjoy the view while dressed in new shoes, outfit, and my nails, hair and face done, then off to a luxury Hotel.  Then that became too little.   Then I wanted trips!  Nothing ridiculous.  Just short ones.  Niagara Fall or Montreal in addition to everything else.

Then Franklin's health was starting to dwindle in our early twenties.  When we found out he had kidney issues (read how we found out here) all I wanted was for him to survive.  He did.  Sure there were hospital stays, surgeries, moving out of his parents home to accommodate the dialysis at home, he was the only one with income (disability from work, I just finished University), etc, but he was at least 'stable'.  Now, all I wanted was stuff that didn't take money.  A good home-cooked meal.  A card that he wrote his heart filled love talk.  Draw me a hot bath.

Well, we've come full circle.  I want the best of both worlds.  Feed me.  Declare your undying love.  But, also wake up early with the kids so I can sleep in.  Feed the family AND do the dishes.

As you get older you come to realize that Valentines is just one over-priced, means nothing get-out-of-jail-for-slacking-the-other-364-days day.  (I'm not that old, but my soul is.  This life path ages you)  I am really selfish.  I want Valentines EVERYDAY and that is not asking too much.   A happy wife happy life post keeps things in check for me.  But, if I could only ask for one thing it would be for him to take care of himself so I won't have to.  Give me that gift everyday, and I'll be happy.

I lie.  I want that AND jewelry, chocolates, and to sleep in.  Hey, I'm still human, not a saint.  Everyone has to have a little bling :)

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Easy Delicious Candied Almonds

Another snack for you.  Easy and  Delicious.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup water


• 1 cup white sugar


• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon


• 2 cups whole almonds

Directions

1. Combine the water, sugar, and cinnamon in a saucepan over medium heat; bring to a boil; add the almonds. Cook and stir the mixture until the liquid evaporates completely leaves a sandy-like coating on the almonds. Pour the almonds onto a baking sheet lined with waxed or parchment paper. Separate almonds using forks. Allow to cool about 15 minutes.

Please put him on dialysis Doc

So, you learned how we found out Franklin had kidney problems in The Beginning of this Lifetime Journey post.  The next several months were rough.  His kidneys were slowly dying.  He was staying in bed for days.  He was tired all the time, lost so much weight (down to 120-lbs), still had headaches, and was down to less than 10% kidney function.

We talked to my dear aunty and uncle.  Uncle (2nd cousin, but a lot older than me, hence calling him Uncle out of respect) was on dialysis.   They were the only people we knew who were actually on dialysis and we wanted to know more information about it.  Reading pamphlets doesn't really give you the reality of doing/living it.  The pros and cons.  Which one is better.  Each department, hemodialysis or peritoneal dialysis, have their own agenda.  The more patients they have, the more funding they get.  Sounds cynical?  Maybe.  But, very real.

They were so helpful and told us what worked for them.  They helped more than anyone thus far.  I am forever indebted for their openness and guidance.

I remember sitting in the doctor's office at the hospital and pleading with her to put him on dialysis.  Please do not wait until he is on death-bed and cannot take care of himself.   I still don't understand the hold up.  We still had trust and belief in the health care system.  We were so naïve.

Her answer was to go to Emergency.  It was the only way we could get a bed to then try and get into surgery.  WTF?!  Well, we did.  We sat in emergency for HOURS.  Not just a few.  I mean 24+ hrs!  We wanted to leave, get something to eat and give our gurney to someone else while we wait in the waiting room with the tv.  They advised if we left, our bed would be gone.  We shouldn't stay in the t.v. room because  when the doctor comes by and should we not be there, we would lose our spot and would be assumed gone.  No, we will not call you.

We were young.  We didn't know how the health care craziness works.

Careful what you wish for.  You might just get it.



 

Snack Mix

The original recipe for this snack mix is made with three different cereals, seasonings, onion powder, garlic powder, peanuts, pecans, and walnuts from about.com.  I've changed it based on what works for me - what I have on-hand and what The Boy likes best.  I learned which  one he prefers from when he picked out the cereal he liked from the first time I made it based on the original recipe.

Every adult and kid who has tried it ALWAYS eats it.   It makes A LOT.  Cut the ingredients in 1/2 if you prefer a smaller batch.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups Crispix cereal


• 2 cups Multi-Grain Cheerios cereal


• 1 cup Gold brand pretzel sticks


• 2 cups whole almonds (unsalted)


• 2 cups cashews (used salted because that's what I had, but would try unsalted next time)


• 1 cup whole wheat Gold Fish crackers


• 1/2 cup butter or margarine


• 4 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce


• 1 teaspoon celery salt


• 1 teaspoon onion powder


• 1/2 rounded teaspoon garlic powder

Preparation:

Measure cereals, pretzel sticks, nuts, and crackers into a large bowl or food storage bag; gently stir or toss to combine.

In a large, deep skillet, melt margarine with Worcestershire sauce. Add celery salt, onion powder and garlic powder. Stir mixture to blend.   Pour over cereal mixture and with a spatula, keep turning until all pieces are coated. Spread out on 2 large baking sheets (with sides) and place in oven for 1 hour at 250°C. When cool, store in tightly covered container.

ENJOY!

Bitch & Stitch Session

It's not just your grandmother's past time anymore.  Knitting and crocheting is a great way to be creative, keep your mind sharp, and relieve stress.  If Sex in the City star does it in public, it can't be too lame right?



I know the basics of knitting too, but I'm not too quick.  I prefer to crocheting.   For me, it's faster and easier.  I recently crocheted a Spiderman ski mask for The Boy.  He loved it and it has been super useful during this cold snap.  I bought the right shade of red and pale yellow to attempt an iron man ski  mask.  Now, just trying to get motivated to make it. I have to be in the mood to crochet, otherwise it's just work.   Much like 'other things' in life too *wiggles eyebrows* heehee.

Not sure if there is interest, but I'll put it out there.  Anyone interested in getting together to crochet/knit over some snacks/wine/coffee?   Some ideas come to mind for a get together:

• Newbie session - you don't know how, but we can teach each other


• Help the Homeless - we each make a couple of granny squares during the session and make a blanket


• Keep Preemies Warm - we could make a preemie hat to donate to hospitals


• Work on your own stuff with an excuse to b*tch about our husbands/bf/both (LOL), see each other  and eat rich food

Hopefully I don't get caught up with all these questions in my head or suffer Paralysis by Analysis.

Date, time, location, topic will be arranged based on interest.  Vote using the poll below or comment and let me know if you want to make a made-with-love, hand-crafted, cool hat/toy/blanket/booties/mitts for your special person.

[polldaddy poll=4536746]

Baked Brie

I had never tasted this delicious, creamy, combination in my 20+ years before I met a great French Canadian friend of mine.  Baked Brie was never served at my family functions back then.  It is now though!  It seemed so uppity when I first heard of it, but really it's easy and delicious.   I just had never been exposed to such rich gorgeous cheese that goes so well with the sweet butter and brown sugar combination and fruit that was served with a satisfying crunch on a cracker.

There are so many other ways to make this.  I've heard of it being served in puff pastry with more savory flavours, but I like this recipe because it is so easy and I usually have everything on hand except the cheese.  Also, I've never worked with puff pastry, so it sounds a bit intimidating.

It takes only 10 minutes of prep before you stick it into the oven.  And you look so fancy and worked so hard on it when you impress those lucky taste buds of your guests.

Ingredients:

1 wheel of Brie or Camembert cheese
butter
brown sugar
chopped dried fruit (i.e. cranberries, apricots)
crackers

Steps:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spread a thin layer of butter on top of Brie.

Spread a thin layer of brown sugar on top of buttered Brie.

Spread a thin layer of chopped fruit on top of brown sugared Brie.

Place cheese on a rimmed baking sheet; bake until softened, 15 to 20 minutes.

Transfer to a serving plate; cool about 15 minutes.

Serve with crackers.

NOTE:  If I'm going to bring it to a friend/family function, I place it in my circular cake pan and open the Brie, but not take it out of the package, just exposing the top.  Prepare a Brie with the butter, brown sugar, and half a wheel with cranberries and the other half with apricots.  The wrap it back up.   Now you can easily bring it with you and bake on location.

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Recipe Exchange

One reason I love gatherings/hanging out/chillin' together/dinner parties/breaking bread is trying real home cooked foods from The People.

You may not cook, bake, bbq, or entertain often, but you are always asked to bring Your dish.  The one you are synonymous for.  People ALWAYS say how amazing it is and ask how you made it or for the recipe.  Sometimes it's the only item in your menu repertoire, but you make it damn good.

Now, some people do not want to share their recipes.  I don't mind sharing, as long as you remember that it's MY recipe when we are in the same room or talking to mutual peoples.   I will do so also with your recipe. Otherwise, you can now be famous for Spinach Dip/Baked Brie/Pineapple Upside Down Cake/Rainbow Cupcakes/Layered Jello.

I would like to create a discussion for a recipe exchange.  Not sure if people will participate, but I hope you will.  I ask that if you use one of 'my' recipes that you leave one that is in your recipe box.  I look forward to trying all of your diverse family favourites.  Drinks, dips, appetizers, snacks, spreads, dinner / breakfast /  brunch /lunch ideas and my favourite, desserts!  I love making cookies, bars, & muffins.

Should there be many recipes, I could make this post 'sticky' so it's easily available.  Now, post your signature dish my multicultural readers!

Men vs. Women Household Chores

When Franklin and I first lived together, who knew who should do what?  Who knew that there were so many things that needed to be done when you have someone else with you.  You'd think there would be less to do since there are two people to cut all the chores in half.  Ha!   Oh to be young and naïve.  There are growing pains.  The first few years, everyone is on their best behaviour.  You get things done without being asked.  Then you're into the 7-12 year mark and things start to get blurry.

 

Once upon a time, there were specific chores that were expected to be done by woman and specific chores done by men.

Woman - Everything that has to be cleaned inside the house, including cooking.  Take care of all the needs of people in the house, with her last.

Man - Maintain the outside of the house, including taking out the garbage.  Pay all the bills.

Well, things have changed.   Or have they?  Woman work and help with the bills since life has become so expensive.  That leaves less time to do all the cooking and cleaning.  Men, will have to help with the chore list.

Have kids?  Add this to the mix:

• Bath time


• Diaper changes


• Medicine/Vitamins


• Changing clothes


• Crafts/Book/Playdates time

Good luck newlyweds.  You're going to need it.  (or is it just us?  we both hate to do housework.  like it or don't like it, it doesn't matter. somethings just need to be done)

Household Chore List

Kitchen Meals Plan/Prepare Set/Clear Table Wash Dishes/Load Dishwasher Clean and/or Organize Counter/Stove Top Drawers Cupboards Fridge/Freezer Sink Microwave Bedrooms Make bed Pick up/put away clothes Tidy closet Clean off dresser/work desk Pick up toys Bathrooms Clean Shower/Tub Toilets Sinks/Counters Mirrors Drawers/Cupboards Family Areas Pick up books and toys Organize bookshelves Clean/Dust Top Surfaces (computer workspace, tables, etc.) [polldaddy poll=4526573]

Laundry Sort into loads Wash them Hang permanent press Dryer items Fold/Put away Floors Dry mop/Sweep Wet mop/scrub floors Vacuum Shampoo carpets Wax (If you are really ambitious!) Additional Take out garbage Dust anything else! Take care of pet(s) Wash Windows Outside Clean Pool Camper/Boat Garage/Shed Wash/Vacuum Vehicles Weed/Plant Garden/Pick Ripe Foods Plant/Weed Flowers Mow Lawn Rake Grass/Leaves Shovel Snow Fill Birdfeeders

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

We have tons of fruit in the house.  Grapes, cherries, mango, blackberries, strawberries, apples, banana, and a pineapple.  If you keep it cut up and available it will be easier to choose a healthy snack rather than cookies, chips, and candy.  For me and The Boy!

This is my first attempt at Pineapple Upside Down (PUD) Cake .  If you have an amazing  PUD cake recipe that you are famous for, please share!  I am willing to do a recipe exchange.  Inbox me on FB, share it here in the comments section or email me (either you have the email address or you don't.  sorry, not going to share it on this public forum.  I know, paranoid right??)

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted


• 2/3 cup packed brown sugar


• 3 cups fresh pineapple - peeled, cored and cut into 1 inch chunks


• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose whole wheat flour


• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon


• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened


• 2/3 cup white sugar


• 2 eggs


• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


• 3/4 cup milk

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).


2. Put 1/4 cup butter into 9-inch circle pan and place into oven until butter is melted. Then stir in brown sugar.


3. Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.


4. In a large mixing bowl, cream the softened butter with the sugar until the mixture is light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture in three parts alternately with the milk, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Beat well after each addition. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan.


5. Place the cake in the middle of the oven. Bake for 40 to 55 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pan on a rack for 15 minutes. Run a thin knife around the edge, and invert the cake onto a plate. Serve the cake warm or at room temperature.

NOTE:  I gave away half and have eaten 1/2 of my remaining 1/2. So, not good for my diet.  I should have given the whole thing minus a slice for me.

It was not too sweet which I like.  While it was cooling and before inverting it on a plate, I poked holes into the cake with a skewer and poured some of the remaining pineapple juice.   I think I could have put it on a cookie tray and put it under the broiler to caramelize the top a bit.

I'm gonna LOSE IT!

1. I'm asking.


2. I'm just reminding you.


3. I'm gonna LOSE IT!

How many times do I have to ask before I am justified in 'losing it'?  Really.  How many times?  Now, if you finally do DO IT, then the next time it has to be done I'm jumping to Step 2.  I'll do another 'friendly' reminder, but after that BAM!  Get IT DONE!!

I've tried it your way.  I ask.  You say you'll get it done.  I bite my tongue day after day.  Well, it's been a week or a month or several months, and it's STILL not done.

You are turning me into a nag.  That's right.  YOU are making me a nag.  If you would just handle your business, than I wouldn't have to say anything.  Oh, wouldn't it be 'easier' if I'd just do it myself instead of getting all GRRR about it.  Well, I'm not your mother who will do all the b.s. tasks to make life easier for you.  This is a marriage and you are a grown adult.

I know procrastination has bitten you ten times over, but finding other things to do doesn't mean you are too busy to get these things done.   You have to shovel.  Touché.  But how do you explain the last TWO weeks for not getting it done?  There were days where you tired.  I get it.  You have kidney disease and do dialysis everyday.  But, how about when there are good days?  You will not use your illness as an excuse.  You are better than that.  and I love you too much to let you.

Buying club packs of socks and underwear does not mean you should skip doing laundry for eons.   But, what's worse is when you do DO IT, you try and say "Po' me.  I'm doing 6 loads of laundry."   You ain't getting no sympathy from me pal.  Maybe if you got it done on the regular you wouldn't have to spend the whole day doing it.  I'm  just saying.

We all have our assigned duties (post about the evolution man vs. woman coming soon).  This worked itself out years ago when we first lived together.  Remember, it started out as doing laundry together.  Then I just did my own and you did your own.  And it has evolved to where we are today.  You do it all.   It's fair and you know it! :)

Don't get me wrong.  I can be a lazy mofo too.  But, this post is my rant about me losing it on your oogly butt, not my cute behind. hehe

[polldaddy poll=4519647]

Is anything in life ever REALLY free?

The saying goes "the best things in life are free".  Really?

Love is NOT free.  It costs effort, patience, and unconditional understanding.  Sometimes more, i.e. money, but I'll leave that for my gold digger post.  Haven't we all been there?  lol

NOTHING in life is free.  Depending who you are getting this "Freebie" from, it can cost your soul and your pride.  Now, pride is one of the 7 evils, but sometimes I'd rather travel the rough road starving then ask for help.   Others are willing to ask without even trying to get it themselves.  Have they no shame?

Don't get me wrong.  I get lots of freebies from my family.  When The Husband was in the hospital due to a stroke and my little one was still a newborn, I needed help.  When he was transferred to a different hospital because the one in our neighborhood does not have dialysis capabilities, I needed help.  Free baby sitting so Franklin wouldn't be there by himself.  Free rides to pick up The Husband from the hospital because I couldn't drive down.  Free food because I would forgo food to sleep.

I pay the price of guilt.  I hate that I have to impose on my loved ones time and time again.  I can do it on my own and drag my children into the hospital and hope they will sit for a couple of hours so Daddy won't be alone.  I can do it on my own and not bath so I can fall asleep exhausted.  I can do it and stick my kids in daycare and pay their crazy fees with credit card.  I can do it.

Fortunately, I don't have to.  I am forever indebted to them all andwill pay for the rest of my life with guilt, gratitude, love, appreciation, loyalty, and honour for all their free help.

Super Easy Delicious Spinach Dip

I learned it from my dear friend from high school.  And it's so easy to remember that it's stuck with me all these years.  I get asked to bring this to every family function.  If you forget, I hear it's on the back of Knorr vegetable soup mix packages (although I've never seen it.  maybe only in the states?)  or Google "knorr spinach dip recipe" or the best option, book mark this post!

Ingredients:

• 1 package (10 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry (If you can't find chopped, just chop it yourself after thawed and dry.  or use fresh by blanching it, then chop & use)


• 1 container (16 oz or 2 cups) sour cream


• 1 cup mayonnaise (Hellman's ONLY!)


• 1 package Knorr vegetable recipe soup mix


• 3 green onions, chopped (optional)


• 1 can (8 oz) water chestnuts, drained and chopped (optional, but recommended...gives that extra added crunch)

Directions:

• Combine all ingredients and chill about 2 hours.  (over night is better)

To Serve:

• 2 round loaf of pumpernickel bread (pumpernickel is dark rye bread)

• Hollow out one of the loaves of bread with a knife, cutting the bread you remove into 2 inch chunks for dipping. I have specified 2 loaves of the bread because if you just get 1 there always seems to be dip left over and no bread to use it up. Cut the second loaf of bread into cubes for dipping.

• Place the hollowed out loaf of bread on a serving plate and fill the hollow with the chilled dip. Arrange the cubes of bread around the loaf and use them to dip.

OR

• Serve with cut-up veggies like:


• carrots (I use baby carrots so I don't have to cut)


• celery


• peppers (green,red,orange, whatever!)


• cucumber


• broccoli


• cauliflower

OR

• Plain chips (i.e. Ruffles with ripples.  holds the dip better, but use whatever you want)

NOTE:

• I always put green onions. Lots of them (~5).

• I never put water chestnuts, just because it's not always easy to get.  Still delicious.  And when you serve it with veggies, you get a crunch there anyway.

[polldaddy poll=4509342]

What's YOUR take?

Well, I have 38 posts so far and am quite pleased with myself.

I love reading your comments and seeing if I'm crazy or are there 'others' out there.  Sounds like many have their weaknesses and spend money on things they want, but not necessarily need.  A lot are frustrated by whiners and complainers that should talk less and do more.  Deciding where to eat is in this vast multicultural city of ours is no easy feat.  And a few of us over think things so much, we end up standing still.

To share if YOU are a whiner, good partner for marriage, order diet coke, or live life, I've added some polls at the bottom of a few posts.   I've added a category called I'll Tell Ya to easily show which ones you can take part in.  I've only added 8 so far, but as time permits, I'll try to back track and add to old ones, and include in new posts also.

Thanks again for reading!  Now you TELL ME!

[polldaddy poll=4505390]

Down $5

Well, the weigh-in did not bring good news to my wallet.  When we started this Biggest Loser competition (read it here), I felt confident that I had an advantage.  But, the fact that he's a guy makes a HUGE difference.  This mofo has lost 9-lbs and he's only been trying for a couple of weeks.  I've tried for 5-weeks and am still at 6-lbs.   I lost  1-lb from last week.  but, it wasn't enough for his 5-lb loss.  FrACk!

He has more work meetings so hopefully The Vendors will be feeding their gratitude to him with fatty deliciousness.  mwhahaha...FTW!

I have decided to add rowing twice a week to my Zumba.  Hopefully, that will help.  I'm slacking on noting my food on myfitnesspal.com, am eating one too many cookies/slice of cake, and skipped Zumba last week since we took The Boy to the Science Centre.

My silver lining is even if I lose another $5, if it motivates me to lose a couple more pounds, then I AM winning.

Reality:  I don't feel like a winner.   I LOST dammit!  grrrrr

Score:

1. Me: +5  Him: -5


2. Me: 0     Him: 0


3. Me: -5    Him: +5

Rainbow Cupcakes

I couldn't be bothered with icing, but white piped would look really cute as clouds :D

recipe is the BEST ever cupcake recipe, from nigella's domestic goddess :>

1. 
   
   
   
   Preheat oven to 200 degrees C
   
   Round up your ingredients
   
   Beat the sugar and butter together, until fluffy and light coloured
   
   


2. 
   
   
   
   Beat in the eggs one at a time, adding a little flour each time, until you've added it all.
   
   


3. 
   
   
   
   Ad the vanilla essence, mix
   
   one tbsp milk, mix
   
   one tbsp milk, mix
   
   one tbsp milk, mix
   
   


4. 
   
   
   
   Divide between 6 bowls
   
   Bowl 1- Add half a cap full of red colouring
   
   Bowl 2- Add half a cap full of red and half a cap full of yellow
   
   Bowl 3- Half a cap of yellow
   
   Bowl 4- Half a cap full of green
   
   Bowl 5- Half a cap full of Blue
   
   Bowl 6- Half a cap full of Blue, half a cap full of Red.
   
   Obviously, mix after you've added the colourings
   
   


5. 
   
   
   
   Divide the purple bowl between the 12 cases. smooth to form bottom layer.
   
   Repeat with the other bowls in this order:
   Blue
   Green
   Yellow
   Orange
   Red
   
   Put in the oven for 15-20 mins
   
   skewer to find out if it's ready, if it come out gunky, put it back in the oven! if clean, then pop on a cooling rack
   
   


6. 
   
   
   
   Decorate!!!
   
   go crazy!
   
   

NOTE:  Use a box of White cake mix instead of making the cake from scratch.  Then start from step 4.  Homemade is always tastier, but the reality is, not everyone is a baker, has all the ingredients, or prefers the convenience of just having to add oil and egg to a prepackaged mix.

I didn't follow the colour order as per the recipe.  I just put whatever colour The Boy wanted to put next.  Although, when I do it again, I won't finish with green on top.  Got feedback that it looked like my cupcakes had moldy fungus!  LOL

Who's going to win $5 this week?

I think I was mentally blocking out that I lost at the second weigh in.

So far, it's been like this:

1. I win $5!  I lost 7-lbs.  Brother lost 2-lbs.


2. I gave his $5 back (sounds better than saying I lost).  I gained 1-lbs.  Brother lost 2-lbs.  It was the Jamaican Food! (read about it here) note:  when I weighed myself the next morning, I 'lost' that 1-lb.


3. Who will take it this week??

Now, I had a huge Chinese New Year feast yesterday.   I had Harvey's for lunch the other day.  Only had a burger (took off the bottom bun!), nibbled a bit on The Husband's poutine, and drank water.   It's not looking good.  My weight hasn't changed!  Happy that I haven't gained, but that's not good enough for a win.

I'm just going to have to Zumba my a$$ off, maybe hit the rowing machine for some extra calorie inferno time, and keep the garbage out of my mouth.

What's your order?

Is it unreasonable to ask that the chef get your order right? You ask me how I'd like my food. I tell you. Now, as I wait for my food, my hunger pain sends expectations to my brain setting up for a certain food flavour. For example, if you order your steak medium done and they bring you medium rare, wouldn't you send it back? Yeah, I could still eat it, but it will be a little disappointing. Right? I don't mind a little pink in my steak, but not bloody.

Now, take this same experience with someone who asks you what you want for breakfast at home. You ask me how I'd like my pancakes (I make my own mix with whole wheat flour. See Homemade Pancake Mix post). I tell you I want blueberry pancakes. Now, as I wait for my food, my hunger pain sends expectations to my brain setting up for a certain food flavour. The blueberries will add fiber, anti-oxidants, and flavour since I don't use syrup to help cut back on the calories. Especially, since I lost my weigh-in last week and this week is kinda iffy.

So, when I get pancakes with NO blueberries, I'm not completely grateful for the breakfast you've made. Just use syrup is the solution. WTH?!? It's hard enough to try to eat better and less food. But, now you want me to use liquid sugar, be hungry in an hour and eat more food. Are you on my brother's payroll to help me lose this week??

At least someone made me breakfast. I should be thankful and gracious and eat the damn pancakes. Which I did. (well, I ate the pancakes....:P)

OR

If you want it done right, do it yourself.

Let's just say, I made breakfast myself this morning. Thank you for your efforts, but I have too much to lose and cannot afford your mistake. My pride and $5 is on the line!

[polldaddy poll=4504803]

Homemade Pancake Mix

How to Make Your Own Pancake Mixes - Make either buttermilk or sour cream pancakes!

You can make these mixes as large or as small as you like. Keep the same ratio of ingredients to make it any size.

Homemade Buttermilk Pancake Mix
All Purpose Flour               cups 4
Sugar                                        cups 1/4
Dry Buttermilk Powder    cups 1/2
Baking Soda                           tsp 2
Baking Powder                     tsp 4
Salt                                           tsp 1

Homemade Sour Cream Pancake Mix
All Purpose Flour                 cups 4
Sugar                                          cups 1/3
Dry Sour Cream Powder    cups 2/3
Baking Soda                             tsp 2
Baking Powder                       tsp 4
Salt                                              tsp 1

For easier measurement, remember that one tablespoon equals three teaspoons.

Combine all the ingredients and whisk together to distribute evenly. Store your pancake mixes in an air-tight container in a cool place and it should last a long time.

You can buy buttermilk powder in your grocery store.

Use the sour cream pancake mix as a base mix for by adding fruit, nuts, baking chips or more. Of course, you can make it plain for some special, extra rich pancakes. We guarantee that it is better than most store mixes.

To use your mix:
1. Measure the desired mix into a large bowl.
2. In a smaller bowl, whisk one egg for every one to 1 1/2 cups of mix.
3. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons melted butter or oil to the egg for every one cup of mix.
4. Add 2/3 cup water to the egg mixture for every one cup of mix. Add the liquid mixture to the mix and stir until just combined. The batter will probably be too dry so add more water to reach the desired consistency.

Variations
Most popular pancake mix is Raspberry Sour Cream Pancakes. We also make a Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Pancakes Mix. We’ll tell you how to make your own sour cream pancake mix using dry sour cream powder. Use it as a base mix for by adding fruit, nuts, baking chips or more. Of course, you can make it plain for some special, extra rich pancakes. We guarantee that it is better than most store mixes.

Here are a baker’s dozen recipes to use your Gourmet Sour Cream Pancake Mix. Of course, this is just a beginning; use your imagination to create more great gourmet pancakes.

• Gourmet Chocolate Chip Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add mini milk chocolate chips). Serve with maple syrup, coconut cream syrup, or vanilla cream syrup.

• Gourmet Cinnamon Chip Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add mini cinnamon chips). Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon cream syrup, or cinnamon apple syrup.

• Gourmet Maple Chip Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add mini maple chips). Serve with maple syrup or maple cream syrup.

• Gourmet Walnut and Date Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add chopped walnuts and dates). Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon cream syrup, or maple cream syrup.

• Gourmet Apple Cinnamon Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add grated fresh apples or Fuji dry apples plus cinnamon). Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon apple syrup, or maple cream syrup.

• Gourmet Baked Apple Pancakes (add grated fresh apples or Fuji dry apples plus maple flavoring). Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon apple syrup, or maple cream syrup.

• Gourmet Cranberry Nut Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add chopped walnuts and dry cranberries). Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon apple syrup, or coconut cream syrup.

• Gourmet Caramel Pear Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add diced dry pears plus a touch of nutmeg and a little cinnamon). Serve with Cinnamon Cream or Vanilla Cream syrup or a sprinkle of brown sugar.

• Gourmet Blueberry Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add fresh or individually frozen blueberries plus a touch of lemon and nutmeg). Add the blueberries at the last and don’t stir more than necessary to avoid turning your pancakes blue.

• Gourmet Fresh Peach and Pecan Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add chopped fresh peaches and chopped pecans plus a touch of lemon and nutmeg). Serve with Orchard Peach or Vanilla Cream Syrup.

• Gourmet Raspberry Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add fresh or individually frozen raspberries plus a touch of lemon). Add the raspberries at the last and don’t stir more than necessary.

• Gourmet Banana Pecan Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add a mashed banana and a little banana flavoring along with cinnamon and chopped pecans). Top with more sliced bananas. Serve with maple syrup or cinnamon cream syrup.

• Gourmet Fresh Strawberry Sour Cream/Buttermilk Pancakes (add fresh strawberries thinly sliced and a touch of lemon). It’s easier to slice your strawberries with a strawberry slicer. Serve with strawberry syrup or vanilla cream syrup.


My NOTES:
• I don't add the buttermilk nor sour cream when I make my mix.
• I use whole wheat flour, not all-purpose flour.
• I add 2 tsp of cinnamon to the 4 cup of flour.
• When I make pancakes, I just use 1 cup of mix, 1 egg, and add just enough milk (usually skim,
otherwise homo milk) until I get the right consistency.
• I just add the blueberries to the pancakes after I ladle some mixture into the pan. Cook. Then flip.

got it from here

Good Luck or Cash Grab?

If you are married then you are expected to pass on your good fortune to the children and singletons. The money train pulls in at the yearly Chinese New Year 10-course dinner with 40+ people of immediate family and first cousin level family.

As a non-married person, particularly in my youth, it was great. Piles of lucky red envelopes filled with money. It's add up to a trip to the mall for clothes/shoes and/or movies and food. As I grew older-older I felt embarrassed to accept the envelopes. Franklin and I have been together over 10+ years. I'm finished school, working and on my way to buying my first home.

It's a little different now. I'm married with children. Handing out red envelopes to the masses is part of our yearly budget. Of course a little extra goes to my darling nieces. I love them as if they were my own daughters. Then there's all the children that are in elementary school. If they are still in school, be it University or High School, then I think they should. Now, for the cousins who are grown up and out of University and working. Should they still get? How about the ones that are older than me and are working? Should their bf/gf get one too? There are an additional 9 people then. 20 people. Varying amounts. Then dinner costs. Uggghh!

The reality is, it's all worth it. They are family and I wish them all great health, happiness, and prosperity. Just like the I HATE You post:

"There’s so many variations that are the same:

1. Do unto others as others do unto you.

2. What goes around comes around.

3. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

4. What you put out is what you’re going to get."

We will put out these positive vibes and be thankful that we are expected to give out the red envelopes. I have a great family, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and am healthy. I hope every lucky recipient gets that in their life too.

[polldaddy poll=4504844]

Napping...A break from the waking world

Why do our little ones fight it? They either get super grumpy, super silly, or just listless.

I know he's tired. His dad knows he's tired. But, to ask him, he'll tell you "nooooooooooooooooooooo mommy". He gets mega restless and starts climbing all over you. This could just be cabin fever, typical crazy boy behaviour, or he's tired. We've got him in enough activities, crafts, toys, books, baking together at home, and cartoons on demand and video to keep him entertained. We STILL have to do the car ride trick to get him to take a nap. He needs it. If we have to resort to the car ride, buddy falls asleep before we hit the next block!

Now, with my little one, it's a bit different. He loves to be held. Who doesn't? But, to keep my sanity and to get laundry, dishes, and food ready, I cannot hold you 24-hrs. Sometimes, I submit and just hold him while he sleeps (trust me I love it, but I learned from the first one, if you don't put them down, you'll be holding them while you go to the bathroom too!) but, sometimes holding him just isn't enough.

He's already fed, burped, and has a clean diaper. So, he rubs his eyes. Is being fussy. I know he's tired. His father knows he's tired. But, to ask him, he'll tell you "waaaaaaaaaaah". So, my last resort after doing the monkey dance bounce-shuffle, I bust out the FIVE S.

I hold him side ways and monkey dance bounce in the bathroom with the lights off and the fan on. We don't do the pacifier. Heard too many nightmare stories from other parents. i.e. can't get rid of them when they get older, they cry in the crib when it falls out of their mouth every 2 minutes, it wrecks their teeth. Works EVERY time.

Don't know the Five S's to calming your baby? Google it, or here's some info from a site:

* Swaddling - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.

* Side/stomach position - You place your baby, while holding her, either on her left side to aid in digestion, or on her stomach to provide reassuring support. Once your baby is happily asleep, you can safely put her in her crib, on her back.

* Shushing Sounds - These sounds imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb. This white noise can be in the form of a vacuum cleaner, a hair dryer, a fan and so on. The good news is that you can easily save the motors on your household appliances and get a white noise CD which can be played over and over again with no worries.

* Swinging - Newborns are used to the swinging motions that were present when they were still in Mom's womb. Every step mom took, every movement caused a swinging motion for your baby. After your baby is born, this calming motion, which was so comforting and familiar, is abruptly taken away. Your baby misses the motion and has a difficult time getting used to it not being there. "It's disorienting and unnatural," says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.

* Sucking - "Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system," notes Karp, "and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain." This "S" can be accomplished with breast, bottle, pacifier or even a finger.