I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse. Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right? Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?! I try being the "cool" aunt. I listen. I try to relate. I did let a couple of swear words slip out. Real mature. I know. :P
I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down. FuKc them. Don't bother with foolishness. Surround yourself with only positive solid people. Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you. They never go away. You'll have them at school. At work. At the gym. At the club. At the park. At your kid's activities. Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that. Don't get sucked into their b.s.
With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated. Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns. Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them. When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do we go to her principal? Do I tell her parents? Do we call the girl's parents? Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?
It's a fine line sometimes. Some people need to be put in their place. Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business. You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow. But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done. They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.
How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school. My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'. Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst. Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?
I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days. All I know is I don't business with them people no more. I left the drama. I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face. I'm married with children living in the suburbs. I don't have time for that b.s.
No more drama.
note: check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II. Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!). His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.
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There is such a fine line today with what to do with bullying. Me and my husband have had this conversation because we both have recognized that the bullying that we have suffered has given us useful life lessons. So now that we have a son the question is, do we let him tough it out cuz as you said these kind of people are always in your life. Or do we react, old school. I don't want to give my son a false sense of reality, but I don't want to scar him either. He's not even a year yet! What am I gonna do when he's a teenager!!!!
ReplyDeleteRegarding your niece, depending on the issues, she might consider escalating the issue to the teacher or the principal. She has someone to talk to but not every kid is that lucky. If the same shyte were happing to some other kid who didn't have anyone to support them, things could get very serious and very ugly. This bully must be taught a lesson so they don't repeat this mistake.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I was a bully, but I didn't take no $h!t either. I was lucky for the most part, nobody messed with me. I did get jumped by guys and girls at one point. That had me do a switch. Trust no one!
ReplyDeleteI hear you about how to react with our own kids. I want to put our kids in martial arts. tai kwan do i think. just so he can learn to protect himself, but more so to respect and honour your elders, traditions, each other, etc
I did ask her that as an option. If she wanted me to come down there to talk with someone. We talked about options and what she wants to do. You can lead a horse to water....
ReplyDelete:) it's all good, thaaanks goo jai :)
ReplyDeletei'm just honoured you would come to talk to me about anything & everything and to be able to be there for you in any way. love you very much darling.
ReplyDelete[...] look.” lol Do your THANG. Live your life. Dance like nobody’s looking. Haters are gonna hate. You can’t let them ruin your [...]
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