The Birth

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Well, last week at least.   I'm still sleep deprived.

well, here's the short version:

6 lbs 11 onces. born at 11:54pm.  epidural AND a top up! From first contraction to birth - 28 hrs

The long version:

I went in on Sunday to have them gel me to ripen the cervix at 4:30pm...then went home.
Labour pains started at 8pm
Water broke at 11pm
Labour pains was every 4 minutes and lasting 1 minute long by 12:30. went to hospital
Was only 1 cm. They cannot admit until 3cm. walked around hospital for 2 hrs. Now only 1.5 cm. Went home
Tried to sleep and breath through the pain every 4 minutes.
Called in 7:30 am to hospital to confirm to come in for 8am inducement.
8:30 am at hospital
10 am epidural
Franklin is tired as shit and didn't do any dialysis the night before. He tries to sleep in the room.
He goes to get food from the caf.
He goes home at 2pm to do an Exchange (manual dialysis) and comes back.
He looks even worse. I'm still labouring on. He goes home at 8pm to do another Exchange.
At 8pm I am now at 6cm and they say it can start moving quite quickly now. Franklin's not back!!


My brother Alex comes to visit. He asks if I have a back up. He saw franklin and he doesn't look well. he's at home puking. Yikes!
Call Wendy (my ex-sister-in-law). He can't get a hold of her. double yikes!
Call Sila (Alex's girlfriend in Mississauga). Ask her if she wants to come, but, if Franklin comes back, he's my first choice.
Wendy and Sila both come. Alex is relieved cause he didn't want to come in, but would if I was by myself.
I get top up of Epidural cause I can start to feel the contractions and I don't want to wait until it really hurts and it's too late to get a top up.
11pm - Dr. says we are finally at 8 cm. We can wait a bit for the Epidural to wear off a bit. Nope!! let's try NOW! Ask the doc, if i'm a few minutes past midnight, can we fudge the birth certificate...nope.
All I remember is Wendy saying it's 11:15...11:30...11:45! 11:45! Wendy and Sila each hold a leg...I push...
Baby is born 11:54pm.



Call franklin....we have a son...waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

I remember walking in that morning asking the nurse to knock me out and wake me when we're done. the contractions all night were painful. but, now I can't even remember any of that. I just know I can't stop looking at him and am filled with so much love.



i go home on thurs. franklin is holding the baby and fell down the stairs on saturday morning. jesus!! thank god the baby is ok. franklin is on the ground screaming. he can't breath. i call 911. i pray he hasn't broken his
back. thank goodness there's no internal bleeding or anything broken. he's just super sore and can barely move. greaaaaaaat.

anyways, time for a feeding! and another diaper change....agaaaaaaaain.

ttyl!

Religion in School Necessary? Is Private schools the only way to get smaller classes?

I am far from a "Bible Thumper", but I may sprinkle in some Merry Christmas, blessings, prayers, hope, etc here and there.  I think everyone has what they need to survive this wicked world.  But, how this foundation of enlightenment is established can start anywhere in this journey called Life.  For some it is through family, in jail, after a life threatening experience, rehab, school, work, etc  Be it God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, Waheguru, Beer, The Wife, or whomever it is, that is your choice.

The Husband and I both went to Catholic elementary schools.  We talked about schooling for our son long ago.  We agreed to have him go to a Catholic elementary school and then he can choose for high school if he wished to go to public or catholic school.  For both of us, it reinforced our foundation of right and wrong, do unto others as you would like others to do unto you, 10 Commandments, and has left me with a bright light of hope during my darkest and loneliest hours.

But, in recent news, there will be a new school built within walking distance from our home.  Another path that both the husband and I walked during our young days.  Walking to school.  Coming home to a hot lunch.  I remember running home at 12pm, shoveling the food down within 10 minutes so I could hurry back to school, but my mom would never let us leave before 12:30.  I only appreciate it now, but I realize she was keeping us out of trouble.  She is so smart, my mom.  I want that for my son.   I want him to come home to a hot lunch.  I want him to be able to walk to school.  Unfortunately, the school will be a Public school.

Now, here is the dilemma.   Do we choose to have him close by and walk home for a hot lunch, but at a public school or drive/bus him to the Catholic school with daily drives home for lunch.  It will be challenging to have The Husband go pick him up everyday for lunch.  But, the foundation that our son will have for life would be worth it.  The argument could be made that we provide the religious foundation while he goes to Public school.  With Sunday school being the reinforcement.  Neither The Husband nor I went to Sunday school.  And I don't know if that will be enough.

Do we send him to a school that is convenient or to the one we feel will educate him on more than just ABCs and 123s?

And just to throw more options into a difficult decision, do we send him to a school near my parent's place so they could help pick him up/take him to school?  They will be watching my Baby 2 for half day and Franklin the other half.  So, it makes it convenient to drop everyone off there.  Not sure if they were going to pick him up for lunch.  We still have time to decide, but I just want to make sure I'm making the best choice for my son's future.  So, now I'll start analyzing like a mad woman.  Read Paralysis by Analysis post to see the inner workings of the gajillion thoughts that go into my decision-making.

ADDITION TO ORIGINAL POST: This is one bonus to writing electronically vs. print.  I can make edits after it has been published.  I wanted to add an argument to include Private schools.  For most of my readers, you may have noticed or read about the increased number of students in the classroom.  For those who currently have children in school do you sometimes feel like you are the after school program with the amount of homework they send home?  We never went to private school, but the idea of smaller classes, individual attention, better marks, and well behaved children sure sound attractive enough to pay their mortgage fees.  Ooops.  I mean their school fees which is equivalent to paying my mortgage.  But, even with the cost, as parents we always make sacrifices when necessary to provide a better future for our children.  Is this one of those necessary charges? or is it just a bubble world that is just all hype?  Montessori is the buzzword when it comes to sending your kids to school.   But, you have to be careful with that too!  Are they just charging Montessori prices, or are they practicing all the great techniques?  How would I know?

Your thoughts?  How did you choose your child's school?  Where did you go?  Did it make a difference to who you are today?

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Spidey Pudding "Poke" Cake

I had a great suggestion from Jilly about a Jello "Poke" Cake.  That set me off to google and go through tons of sites and recipe ideas.

This is my version that I made for Marcus' birthday:

Ingredients:

1 box of Golden cake mix

1 box of chocolate instant pudding

1 tub of whipped cream

Steps:

1. Make cake as per directions on the box


2. After you pull it out of the oven poke holes 1-inch apart.  You can use the end of a wooden spoon, straw, thick end of a chop stick, to give you some ideas


3. Only after the holes are poked, mix the pudding mix with 2-cups of milk until well blended.  Immediately pour over your cake filling the holes (it's ok for spillage all over the top of the cake.  we'll cover that up)


4. Cover and put in fridge to have the pudding thicken.


5. Take it out of the fridge,  uncover, and spread cool whip all over it.

Decorate:

Black rope licorice

Spiderman decal set from the Bulk Barn (or try the baking isle)

Gummy spider candy

1. Make an X using the rope on the cake


2. Make an + using the rope on the cake, now it should kind of look like a star/asterisk *


3. Place rope with a little bit of a dip in between to straight ropes, Web created

1. Add decals and spider candy

Marcus LOVED it!  Especially the Spidey decals and candy.  Everyone loved it.  Even my nieces who don't like pudding.

NOTE:

• Don't take too long pouring the pudding into the cake, otherwise it will thicken and will not pour down the holes


• Try different cake and pudding combinations


• Instead of pudding you can use Jello


• Mix some pudding into the cool whip before spreading


• Make 2 packages of pudding to fill holes and spread over top of cake, then either top with whip cream or omit it


• Playing around with contrasting colors can be fun too. Such as; white cake with chocolate pudding, chocolate cake with vanilla pudding or a real pretty one is white cake with pistachio pudding.

Original Recipe that I've seen several times during my research:

Pudding Poke Cake

1 pkg. (2 layer size) cake mix (white, yellow or chocolate)

Topping:

2 pkgs. (4 serving size) Jell-O chocolate instant pudding and pie filling (may also be creative with different flavors)

1/2 or 1 cup confectioners' sugar

4 cups cold milk

Prepare and bake cake mix as directed on package for 13x9 inch cake. Remove from oven. Poke holes at once down through cake to pan with round handle of wooden spoon (or poke holes with plastic drinking straw, using turning motion to make large holes.) Holes should be at 1 inch intervals. Only after the holes are made, combine pudding mix with sugar in large bowl. Gradually stir in milk. Beat with electric mixer at low speed for not more than 1 minute. Do not over beat. Quickly, before pudding thickens, pour about 1/2 of the thin pudding evenly over warm cake and into holes (This will make stripes in cake.) Allow remaining pudding to thicken slightly, then spoon over the top, swirling it to "frost" the cake. Chill at least 1 hour. Store cake in refrigerator. 

Mommies United

I love reading everyone's comments.  I appreciate the time it takes to read, but to go the extra mile and put down some words to your reaction to my blog keeps me motivated.

Some particular comments have been from the other mommy's who read.  I may face some additional challenges when Franklin is not feeling well, but overall when it comes to our kids, i.e. growing up, diaper funnies, we all have been there.  It doesn't matter what race, religion, economics, city, or country you are from, as a mommy, you can relate to the night time feedings in their first few months of life, feeding them their first foods beyond milk, etc. Losing the baby weight hasn't been easy, but my Biggest Loser competition is helping.  We're even in our weekly pay offs but I'm down overall percentage and weight.  Yah me!

And for those who have found their life partner/husband/partner/best friend for life, I love reading your comments too!  When I blogged about chores, I love the comment on my FB that went something like "Finally, someone else who b!t3ches about this".  LOL  Nice to know I'm not the only one with a husband who slacks on chores at times.  In the early days of this blog I posted about Happy Wife Happy Life and I think it hit home for many of us in a committed relationship.

And for those who decide to go back to work because $$ is a necessary evil in this dual income society, it's not always so easy to decide.  My time is coming soon.  I enjoy my job and I have a supportive boss who acknowledges my 110% effort, positive attitude and extensive experience and skills.  (My modesty too! LOL)  With Marcus, I was able to do a gradual transition back.  A few days a week at reduced hours, then a couple more days at full hours, etc.  This helped big time!  It helped me to form my routine with getting everyone dressed, the separation anxiety for my baby and me (probably more me), and to face the Go Train (read that post for some laughs about the commuter's reality).

Through diapers, first foods, birthdays, losing the baby weight and maternity leave, you have read and shared the emotional roller coaster that is today's mommy.  Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day of working, cooking, cleaning, and child rearing.

We are amazing.

(We can do it ALL!)

 

From Toddler to Little Man

My first born is growing into a little man.  As his birthday approaches I wonder what to do for his birthday.  Having watched all these crazy reality show about kid birthday parties, I know what I don't want.  We did a big dinner for his one month (tradition), but nothing big like that since.  We decided to do Medieval Times.  Swords.  Knights.  I sure hope he likes it.  With just immediate family we sit at 18 people.

It's bitter sweet having my son grow up.  Next thing he'll be going to school and I think I might either do a jig or die inside.   It's already choking me up sometimes to have a conversation with him.  To see his wheels turning in his head as he thinks about what he trying to explain.  He's so smart.  Sometimes too smart.  He's into the "why" stage.  He's just trying to understand why things are the way the are.  But, when you get the 10,000th "why", I now understand where "because I said so" originated.

I still have moments where the light bulb flashes bright and I can't believe I'm a mom.  What happened to the days where I'd go dancing each weekend, meet random people, hit the casino on a while at midnight, follow the charity casinos to play black jack, shopping sprees, etc

I've traded it for diapers, sleepless nights, random hugs of unconditional love, hearing "mommy", teaching, etc

Not better or worse.  Just different.  I liked being childless and the carefree life it afforded.  But, I love having my children.  Even when it comes with the poo emergencies, the 5:30am shows, loads of laundry, etc

Now to bake his birthday cake.  Blow up balloons.  Arrange rides for some of the family.  Make loot bags.

Healthy Banana-Blueberry Muffins

As pretentious as I think Martha Stewart is, I have tried several of her recipes and 90% of them have been great.  So, below is one of them I tried yesterday.  I had a craving for banana muffins.  Not too sweet.  Not cakey.  This was good and as fairly healthy.  See my notes below to see my own touches.  So, if the bananas on your counter top are looking overripe, don't throw them out; they'll add even more flavor to these muffins.

• Prep Time 20 minutes


• Total Time 45 minutes plus cooling


• Yield Makes 12

 

Ingredients

• 1 cup whole-wheat flour (spooned and leveled)


• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)


• 1/4 cup wheat germ


• 1 teaspoon baking soda


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature


• 1/3 cup granulated sugar


• 1/3 cup packed light-brown sugar


• 2 large eggs


• 2 ripe bananas (about 1 pound)


• 1/3 cup reduced-fat (2 percent) milk


• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract


• 1 cup frozen blueberries

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line a 12-cup muffin pan with paper liners. In a bowl, whisk together flours, wheat germ, baking soda, and salt.


2. In a large bowl, beat butter and sugars with a mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. In another bowl, mash bananas with a fork (you should have 3/4 cup); stir in milk and vanilla.


3. With mixer on low, alternately add flour mixture and banana mixture to butter mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture; mix just until combined. Fold in frozen blueberries.


4. Divide batter among muffin cups. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, 25 to 28 minutes, rotating pan halfway through. Let cool in pan 10 minutes; transfer muffins to a rack to cool 10 minutes more.

NOTES:

• I used graham cracker crumbs since I didn't have wheat germ


• Googled wheat germ substitute and this was an awesome answer for it "oatbran, it is granular like cornmeal, it is good to, flaxseed meal, even cornflake crumbs or graham wafer crumbs they are not only a binder but add some fiber to the cookies, cakes or breads, just remember they also absorb moisture, with molasses it is fine but a sugar based recipe requires a small amount of extra moisture, honey, molasses, glucose and brown sugar are what is known as hydreants, meaning they keep or absorb moisture from the air to keep thing moist for longer periods of time."


• I did half with blueberries.  half with out.


• I used fresh blueberries


• I used 2 1/2 super ripe bananas and mashed to a little more than 1 cup


• If you want to cut the fat even more, substitute half the butter with applesauce

Epidural

I recently read about a woman whom after three months of giving  birth she still cannot walk on her own will.  After 34-hrs of labour, they finally performed a C-section.  After some investigation, it was uncovered that she had a 'rough' C-section and a lot of nerves in her legs were damaged in the process.  A nightmare that is to last at least 1 year, so the hospital says.

I was lucky that I did not have to go through that.  Hopefully, not too many people will experience that at the hands of this butcher of a doctor who performed the procedure.

I did opt for an epidural when I had my kids.  At first, I had lofty dreams of a natural birth.  Although, I did put in my  birthing plan for them to give me the option of an epidural before it was too late to administer it.  Just in case.  I've heard 'horror' stories from other woman in my life that said it was too late to get it.  I am fairly tough.  I am not a crier.  And I have to be  hurt pretty bad to shed a tear.  But, the pain during the labour was just too much.  The first 15-hrs I didn't have anything.  But, after that, I was exhausted and couldn't bear the pain any longer.   Please give it to me Dr. Feelgood.  The nurse was like "who is this?".  I was like a completely different person.  After awhile though, I was feeling nauseous. I remember giving birth and then puking to the side right after.  While holding my son, I turned my head to puke.   The fact that The Husband missed the birth and all the drama that went along with it didn't help.  An interesting story.  Interested in hearing it?

The second time around, I asked for it as soon as I was at the front desk of the birthing centre.  Then again when I walked into the room.  I didn't want to endure 27-hrs like last time.  They finally called in Dr. Feelgood and I was hoping to get relief.  Well, he tapped in and I was still feeling pain.  They said it will take a few minutes, but I was still holding the bed railings and shaking in pain.  They called him back and he put some more.  I was still in pain, felt a rush of cold through my back and felt high.  He said he had to pull it out and try to reinsert the needle.  Looking back, I should have feared being paralyzed.  He pulled it and re-tapped my back.  The recovery was longer than the last time.  Coincidence?  I think not.

If that wasn't bad enough, they forgot to collect the cord blood for my second son.  While the baby was being weighed and it looked like the Dr. was starting to 'clean up', I asked about the cord blood collection.  He was all dear in the headlights and had no clue.  I couldn't f'ing believe it.  The fracking nurse left he kit off to the side.  They fumbled through the kit and tried to collect something.  anything.  I tried not to cry.  Just focus on the fact that I have a healthy baby.  I am alive.

Not everyone collects the cord blood, but we made a decision to invest in a cure.  I hope we never need it.  It's like insurance.  You pay and pay and pay.  And hope you never have to use it.  Plus with cloning, genetic manipulation, and the like, maybe it may save my husband's life.  A far stretch, but when you are staring in the face of a death sentence you look for a light of hope almost anywhere.  If they can clone a sheep or grow an ear on the back of a rat, it doesn't seem as far of a stretch as previously thought.  We still need a kidney from a live donor.

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Homemade Play Dough (aka playdoh, plasticine)

The benefits of having your kids play with play dough is huge!  They can play baker/scientist while you make it together, use their imagination, practice their dexterity, and create art, just to name a few.

Make it yourself and ensure it is nontoxic.  You know they might eat some, have it all over their hands, etc

Ingredients:

3 1/2 cup white flour
1/2 cup salt
2 tablespoon cream of tartar (find it in the spice section)
1/3 cup oil
2 cups boiling water
food coloring or powder drink mix (i.e. kool aid)

1. Mix flour, salt, and cream of tartar together in a big bowl


2. Add oil


3. Add food colouring or powder drink mix to boiling water and mix


4. Add coloured water to flour mixture


5. Knead dough

Play dough will keep for a long time stored in a covered plastic container or plastic sandwich bag.

Note:

• I like using powder drink mix because it gives it colour and a fruity smell


• Add additional smells by adding vanilla, lemon, etc oils (could try extract if you don't have oils)


• Try using rose water


• make several colours of play dough by omitting the colour to the water when following the recipe.  Then separate the dough into several bowls and add food colouring drops to each bowl.  And kneed dough to blend colour throughout

Art ideas:

• Roll out dough and use cookie cutters to cut out fun shapes.  Add glitter like sprinkles on a cookie!


• Easy: Leave out your sculptures/cookie cutouts to dry and harden (can take a couple of days to weeks depending on size and thickness).  Paint it.  Glue stuff on, etc.  It can crack, colour fades, etc


• If you have a special ornament/sculpture/etc preserve it with these steps

Bald Baby - Do we do it?

Not sure if it's a Chinese thing or not, but the myth goes that if you shave your young baby's hair they will be left with thick beautiful hair as they grow up, particularly when they are older.

It's probably more myth than fact.  Genetics would decide your likelihood of thin hair.  But, since almost everyone in my family does it or has had it done to them, it seems like it's fact.  One of my nieces had very thin hair when she was a baby.  We were all 'concerned'.  Her sister wasn't like that.  We all have thick hair.  It was decided to shave her head.  She now has thick hair (she's a teen).  Coincidence?  Hmmm...

We shaved our elder son's hair.  It is quite thick.  My Husband's hair is also thick.  My hair is fairly thick too.  But, not all uncles on my side have thick hair.  They say baldness is dictated from the mother's side. Yikes!  We are going to shave Baby 2's head too.  I have decided.  Now, just to get The Husband on board.

I once lost all of my hair.  Had to wear a wig.  Had to get steroid injections to my head.  I bought a really cute short blond bob cut wig.  Hell, if I had to wear one, might as well have fun with it.  It was 10 years ago.  I was running my own business, I was working full-time, Franklin was in the hospital to have the surgery so he could do peritoneal dialysis and I was visiting him every day.  The schedule was something like this - wake up to do my business. Go  to work. Visit Franklin. Go home to do more business stuff.  All the while worrying about my Darling.  It was a crazy time.   Even though I felt I could do it all, my body felt otherwise.  Even though I was emotionally and physically drained, I really thought I could keep doing it for longer.  I found out when I went to a hair cut and high lights (a girl still has to look good you know.  Wish I was still so 'selfish' about my looks now!).  The hairdresser found a circular bald batch on the left side of my head.  It was a little bigger than a quarter.  She suggested I hold off on the highlights until I found out what was happening.  Good idea.

I was referred to a dermatologist.  At first the receptionist said they were fully booked.  I pleaded.  Please, I am a young woman in my early 20s.  Do you know how important hair is to feeling like a 'normal' woman?  She squeezed me in.  First it was creams.  Then when that didn't work, came the steroid needles to the scalp.  Little pricks.  But, many of them.  In the interim I was also seeing an Acupuncturist and boiling Chinese herbs.  I was doing any song and dance it would take to get my hair back.  Little do you realize what defines a woman.  Her hair and her boobs.  Superficial?  Yes.  But, when people look at you, that's the two things that define them.

My body was obviously saying something had to give.  And if I wasn't going to make life changes, it was my hair that was going to 'give'.  Franklin was back home.  I decided to let go of my business.  My hair started to grow back.  Who knows which reason it grew back.  Was it the steroids shots to the scalp?  The acupuncture?  The Chinese herbal soups? or letting go some of the responsibilities and stress?

Your body needs rest to repair itself.  Stress is a killer to happiness and the body.  Recognize when you are taking on too much and ask for help.  I am still learning to 'master' that.  You would think after so much I would know it by now.  But, this is part of the reason I blog.  I do read past posts and people's comments.  I want to remember when I remember to take care of myself, when I forget to put myself on the list of priorities of things/people to take care of.  Also, not to always put me at the bottom of the list either.

It's funny.  I just re-read this blog post, and it initially started off with my idea of shaving baby 2's head.  How did it end up with a note to myself to take care?  The path and emotional journey that expressing yourself through writing will take you is one of self discovery sometimes.

Try it.

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￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil

It's almost time to pimp my ass for a pay cheque.  Going back to work to get paid by The Man in the corporate world so my family can enjoy new clothes, good food, toys, and hopefully a vacation can be snuck in there too.  And dear I dream to retire early.  I'll probably still work, but only because I want to, not because I have to.

As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs.  We don't really need for anything.  We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc.  But, which kid doesn't want another toy?  Which husband doesn't want more golf anything?  And which wife doesn't want more everything?

Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early.  A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing.   You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month.   I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later.  I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before.  Probably a bit too often.

But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby.  I love the freedom to breast feed on demand.  To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing.  I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands.  Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy.  I'd love to stay at home with the kids.  Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to.  I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home.   I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home.  It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.

I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son.  I only hope that I'm doing a good job.  I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding.  Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future.  I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.

People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out.  I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches.  But, for me, there is no decision to make.  I have to go back.  Money is a necessary evil in this world.  It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want.   Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself.  The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day.  I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like.  Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart.  It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive.  He's here as a loving husband and father.

Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor.  Travel the world like the slums of xyz,  then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country.  Oh Canada!  We have free health care.  Welfare.  Public housing. Food Banks.  Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world.  Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things.  If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills?  Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank?  If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you?  Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.

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First Foods

I love that I am able to stay home for the first year of my baby's life.  To be able to give him the best start in his health with breast milk, but to also be able to watch all the milestones so far:

• following me with his eyes


• being able to hold his head up


• grasping items in his little hands


• turning over


• finding his feet and eating them


• smiling & laughing

Another big one coming up is feeding him his first taste of food.  How exciting!

• peas


• carrots


• squash


• sweet potato


• zucchini


• rutabaga


• pears


• apples


• hard-boiled eggs


• bread

BRING ON THE MESS!

I made food for my first-born.  Well, eventually.  When the time came (anywhere between 4-6 months depending on the baby and their cues. Good head control, a growing appetite, and interest in what you're eating are all indications that your baby is ready to try solids.)  I wanted to make him food.  Well, I dilly and dallied, I didn't know what to start with, and poor baby still hadn't had any solid food.  So, I caved and bought a couple of jarred stuff.  So, many choices!  He ate.  He made a mess. We took pictures.  By the 3rd jar I wondered if the puree peas tasted as bad as it looked.  It did!

After tasting that disgusting flavour, there was no way I was going to feed my baby that processed garbage when I wouldn't eat it myself.  Don't get me wrong.  When I was in a pinch, it'll have to do.  But, making my own was so easy and rewarding.  I have a steamer with a built-in timer, so that made it super easy.  It also helps to reduce losing the vegetables/fruits nutrients compared to over boiling it.  Bust out the hand blender and voilà!  Home made delicious baby food.  No salt.  No preservatives.  Made in sterile equipment with clean hands using organic fruits and vegetables.

I even organized a baby food swap party at my place.  Moms brought a fruit/vegetable and ice cube trays or baby food freezer try (like an ice-cube try, but holds one ounce per hole and comes with a sealable lid).  You come with one, you leave with a variety of foods.  We got to learn from each other, laughed, and were able to spend time together.  I was so lucky to find 10 wonderful women back then.  All of our children were close in age.  All were down to earth.  Kind. Generous. Funny.  Friendly.  We met during a parenting group offered by the government facilitated by a registered nurse.  It was perfect for first time moms.  What to expect for sleeping, postpartum, teeth, food, etc  After the session ended, we still met up once a week at someone's house. Then slowly, one by one, we went back to work.   Sadly, money is a necessary evil (Post named the same thing to follow soon.  Exploring maternity leave and going back to work.  A decision for every woman.  Sometimes not really a decision as there is no other choice)

But, I digress.  Back to baby food.   To heat up an ounce of my frozen, nutritious, home-made love, I would heat it up in a hot water bath.  Put a bit of boiled water in a bowl.  Put a smaller bowl on top.  Put food into smaller bowl.  Within ~5-minutes the food has melted and a little warm.  No microwaves.  It will leave hot spots that might burn precious baby. One type of food every 4-7 days.  That way if baby has a bad reaction to a food than you'll know which one.  After I would start combing the flavours.  Squash and peas.  Carrots and potatoes.  The poos reflected that.  Is all I'm saying :P

Of course congee is on the menu.  Over cooked rice made into a porridge, flavoured with ground meat or fish.  i.e. beef, turkey, chicken, pork, salmon.  So good for baby.  Great when you are not feeling well, ie cold, stomach flu.  Or anytime for a meal.  Congee Wong.  Congee Queen.  Noodle houses.  Dim Sum.  Congee is everywhere!

I'll post a congee recipe if you would like.  Let me know.  Have any funny baby feeding stories?  Let me know.

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Discipline

Did you get the beats when you were little?  Or did you stand in the corner? When I say 'beats' I don't mean abuse.  Abuse is WRONG.  I don't mean closed hands, bleeding, or broken bones.  I mean discipline.  Don't get it twisted.  If you are hurting your children you need to stop immediately and get help.

How Franklin's parents raised him was definitely different than how I was raised.   Also, the dynamics were different.  I was the only girl and my brothers were 9+years older.

When I was young until my early teens it would be the beats.  Anybody else get hit with a Chinese feather duster?  At first I would get hit until I cried.  Then I would cry right away to try and lesson the blows.  ha!  What was just evil was when I had to go get it so she could hit me with it.  \I am not alone who received this type of beats.  They have a group on FB for this.  My mom was the disciplinarian.  Well, they both were, but my mom was the one who doled out the punishment since Dad worked outside of the house.  Then when I got older, I would like to categorize it as |Asian guilt.  The shame of not honouring your parents and being a good girl.  You know.  Why a B grade and not an A?  My parents were not mega strict.  I mean, the expectations were there, but after a certain age, they gave me the freedom to make choices.  Sometimes they were the right ones.  Sometimes not.  But, they gave me the guidance in my younger days.  And when I got older, I had to decide.

Now, as Marcus is testing his limits, I am in a position of disciplining him.  No feather duster here.  We do do the time outs.  Then get down to eye level and talk about why he was put in time out.  By the third time of telling him not to flick his brother, he might get a 'tap' on the hand.   It's funny in a 'oh no you didn't' kind of way when you tell him not to do something, then he'll try and do it when you are not looking.  But, of course as a parent you have a spidey sense and you watch him out of the corner of your eye as he looks to see if you are watching while he touches his brother one more time.

Sometimes he is stubborn.  He really feels like he is justified in doing ABC and doesn't understand why he can't.  He'll try and make deals.  "Mom, we'll just eat one more candy, then diaper, teeth, books, go to bed.  Deal?"  Well, good on you son.  You don't give up and you try and negotiate what you want.  You're not going to get it, but you try.  Good job.  Well, you can have it tomorrow.  Hopefully you'll forget about promised candy.  Yeah right  :P

We'll help guide him to make the right choices and steer him back on the path with the 'right' discipline.   He'll make mistakes.  I prefer to call them life lessons.  He'll push the boundaries, but we'll still set them to let him know what is 'acceptable'.  Then when he has a choice to make and we're not there to give him a time out, hopefully he'll make the right choice.

Do you have any childhood memories of being disciplined by your parents?  Please feel free to share a memory of you being disciplined or you disciplining your kids.

Check out Parent or Friend or Both post too

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What's Next??

Blog. Blog. Blog.  I have tons of ideas that I want to write about.  Sometimes, inspiration comes from my life, your life, the news, TV, observations while I'm out, surfing the net, even FB posts!  It takes just one word,a sentence, an action, an expression on someone's face, to spark a fire within my head and heart.  I jot down the idea, sometimes it's just a title or an example, so I can flush out the thoughts later.

Some feelings and ideas are just so "there" that the words just flow out of my fingertips and the post is completed within minutes.  Sort of like the I HATE YOU post.  I was furious and just needed to get it out of my heart.  I don't want that kind of ugliness lingering around, hence I blog.  I used to write on a piece of paper/a diary/even the back of an envelope, just so I can get it out of my system and release myself from the drudgery of poisonous emotions.  Now, I can "embarrass" myself for the world to read.  (The World...aren't I modest LOL...a girl can Like, Comment, and a Dream right?)

Do you ever get a thought or idea, be it positive or negative, in your head and it just repeats itself over and over and over.  Even a compliment about how I've lost weight can take a sinister turn and all of a sudden "I'm so fat.  Look at my thunder thighs.  I'm huge.  I've got a big belly.  I need to lose weight.  My arms wave" are on repeat in my head.  It's not always so negative.  It could also go "You hot, girl.  Working out is paying off.  Need new clothes for this skinny body.  Have to get a mani/pedi.  Look good.  Feeling GREAT!  They noticed!  They noticed!".  Crazy.  I know.  Hence why I blog to analyze and move on.

Well, these  ideas are starting to build up.  I've got a list of Draft posts waiting to be explored and posted.  There are so many now that I don't know what should be next.  I pulled up the list and it seems like so many, that I just start a new one about something else and leave these behind.

They are all worthy of my thoughts and emotions that I will put into them.  Sometimes. I just don't have time or it's because the emotions involved while I write them are just too heavy.  Like how we found out Franklin had kidney problems post in response from just an  inquiry from a friend.  It took me a while to write it because I didn't want to feel the fear, disappointment, nor anger again.  I've always wanted to document our kidney journey.  The emotions.  The milestones.  Her question helped kick the dust off.

It's funny how it starts with an idea, and as I write, I ramble on and by the end of the post, I'm left with a whole different perspective and/or emotion.  Quite the amusement ride and I Love it!

Below is the lengthy list of posts waiting to be blogged about.  For most, the title gives you the basic idea.  For the others, well, you'll just have to choose and see!  Exciting??  LOL...to me it is.  I know.  I'm lame :P

What would you like to read about next??:

1. Organ Trafficking - A Dialysis Patient's Perspective


2. Cancer Caps - Warriors and Survivors Should be Stylish TOO!


3. Fish and Chips Diet


4. Another Year - Still Stuck With Him - Reflection of the Last Year


5. From Both Ends - Return of the POO and MORE!


6. No Strings Attached - yeah right :P


7. The Novelty has Worn OFF - or has it??


8. ￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil


9. Diet Basics


10. MaMa's Milk


11. Parent, Friend or Both


12. Say it. Forget it.  Write it. Regret it.


13. Dialysis at Sea - Possible?

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Snack Mix

The original recipe for this snack mix is made with three different cereals, seasonings, onion powder, garlic powder, peanuts, pecans, and walnuts from about.com.  I've changed it based on what works for me - what I have on-hand and what The Boy likes best.  I learned which  one he prefers from when he picked out the cereal he liked from the first time I made it based on the original recipe.

Every adult and kid who has tried it ALWAYS eats it.   It makes A LOT.  Cut the ingredients in 1/2 if you prefer a smaller batch.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups Crispix cereal


• 2 cups Multi-Grain Cheerios cereal


• 1 cup Gold brand pretzel sticks


• 2 cups whole almonds (unsalted)


• 2 cups cashews (used salted because that's what I had, but would try unsalted next time)


• 1 cup whole wheat Gold Fish crackers


• 1/2 cup butter or margarine


• 4 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce


• 1 teaspoon celery salt


• 1 teaspoon onion powder


• 1/2 rounded teaspoon garlic powder

Preparation:

Measure cereals, pretzel sticks, nuts, and crackers into a large bowl or food storage bag; gently stir or toss to combine.

In a large, deep skillet, melt margarine with Worcestershire sauce. Add celery salt, onion powder and garlic powder. Stir mixture to blend.   Pour over cereal mixture and with a spatula, keep turning until all pieces are coated. Spread out on 2 large baking sheets (with sides) and place in oven for 1 hour at 250°C. When cool, store in tightly covered container.

ENJOY!

Bitch & Stitch Session

It's not just your grandmother's past time anymore.  Knitting and crocheting is a great way to be creative, keep your mind sharp, and relieve stress.  If Sex in the City star does it in public, it can't be too lame right?



I know the basics of knitting too, but I'm not too quick.  I prefer to crocheting.   For me, it's faster and easier.  I recently crocheted a Spiderman ski mask for The Boy.  He loved it and it has been super useful during this cold snap.  I bought the right shade of red and pale yellow to attempt an iron man ski  mask.  Now, just trying to get motivated to make it. I have to be in the mood to crochet, otherwise it's just work.   Much like 'other things' in life too *wiggles eyebrows* heehee.

Not sure if there is interest, but I'll put it out there.  Anyone interested in getting together to crochet/knit over some snacks/wine/coffee?   Some ideas come to mind for a get together:

• Newbie session - you don't know how, but we can teach each other


• Help the Homeless - we each make a couple of granny squares during the session and make a blanket


• Keep Preemies Warm - we could make a preemie hat to donate to hospitals


• Work on your own stuff with an excuse to b*tch about our husbands/bf/both (LOL), see each other  and eat rich food

Hopefully I don't get caught up with all these questions in my head or suffer Paralysis by Analysis.

Date, time, location, topic will be arranged based on interest.  Vote using the poll below or comment and let me know if you want to make a made-with-love, hand-crafted, cool hat/toy/blanket/booties/mitts for your special person.

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Napping...A break from the waking world

Why do our little ones fight it? They either get super grumpy, super silly, or just listless.

I know he's tired. His dad knows he's tired. But, to ask him, he'll tell you "nooooooooooooooooooooo mommy". He gets mega restless and starts climbing all over you. This could just be cabin fever, typical crazy boy behaviour, or he's tired. We've got him in enough activities, crafts, toys, books, baking together at home, and cartoons on demand and video to keep him entertained. We STILL have to do the car ride trick to get him to take a nap. He needs it. If we have to resort to the car ride, buddy falls asleep before we hit the next block!

Now, with my little one, it's a bit different. He loves to be held. Who doesn't? But, to keep my sanity and to get laundry, dishes, and food ready, I cannot hold you 24-hrs. Sometimes, I submit and just hold him while he sleeps (trust me I love it, but I learned from the first one, if you don't put them down, you'll be holding them while you go to the bathroom too!) but, sometimes holding him just isn't enough.

He's already fed, burped, and has a clean diaper. So, he rubs his eyes. Is being fussy. I know he's tired. His father knows he's tired. But, to ask him, he'll tell you "waaaaaaaaaaah". So, my last resort after doing the monkey dance bounce-shuffle, I bust out the FIVE S.

I hold him side ways and monkey dance bounce in the bathroom with the lights off and the fan on. We don't do the pacifier. Heard too many nightmare stories from other parents. i.e. can't get rid of them when they get older, they cry in the crib when it falls out of their mouth every 2 minutes, it wrecks their teeth. Works EVERY time.

Don't know the Five S's to calming your baby? Google it, or here's some info from a site:

* Swaddling - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.

* Side/stomach position - You place your baby, while holding her, either on her left side to aid in digestion, or on her stomach to provide reassuring support. Once your baby is happily asleep, you can safely put her in her crib, on her back.

* Shushing Sounds - These sounds imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb. This white noise can be in the form of a vacuum cleaner, a hair dryer, a fan and so on. The good news is that you can easily save the motors on your household appliances and get a white noise CD which can be played over and over again with no worries.

* Swinging - Newborns are used to the swinging motions that were present when they were still in Mom's womb. Every step mom took, every movement caused a swinging motion for your baby. After your baby is born, this calming motion, which was so comforting and familiar, is abruptly taken away. Your baby misses the motion and has a difficult time getting used to it not being there. "It's disorienting and unnatural," says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.

* Sucking - "Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system," notes Karp, "and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain." This "S" can be accomplished with breast, bottle, pacifier or even a finger.

J-E-L-L-O

What else can I feed The Boy that will help him get all his nutrients.  He loves to help in the kitchen, so trying to find recipes that doesn't involve a whole bunch of chopping isn't always easy.  I become the sous chef, and then I'll call him over to be my mixer.  He's also a great 'go-for'.

Last night, it was Jello time.  It's powdered sugar with gelatin and colour.  Great.

So, to bump up the nutritious value we added blueberries and grapes.  We used Arthur's Smoothie Juice instead of water.  BAM!  Just had him eating more fruit in one dessert!  Used clear plastic cups so he could see the suspended fruit.



 

He's had one already and wants more.  Dude, it's a snack/dessert, not a meal.

Layered Jello - is so cool looking and tastes great!

Recipe:

different jello flavours

can of condensed milk

gelatin package

boiling water

1. make one jello flavour as per package's instructions

2. in another bowl, mix condensed milk and boiling water until well blended.  stir in gelatin package.

3. ladle jello into container, place into fridge.

4. once jello is set, ladle a layer of condensed milk mixture.  place back into fridge.

5. repeat steps 1, 3, and 4

note: replace water with juice to add more vitamins and switch up the flavour combo!  mango juice with strawberry jello

Spidey Senses

Marcus is loving his Spiderman ski mask I made.  As soon as I showed him a picture he wanted it. When I didn't finish it that day he actually cried himself to sleep.  awwwwwww baby!  Kids have no idea of time.  I tried to explain the "3 more sleeps" concept, but he either didn't get it or didn't care.  The cynic in me is inclined to assume the latter.  HAHA  Pre-babies, I used to think that cartoons were just being funny with the repetitive questions.

"mommy?  mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy? mommy?"

or

"is it ready yet? how about now? how about now? how about now?"

It's real.  And only funny when it's not directed at you.

At first glance, one of my family asks, why did you make him a robber's mask?  LMAO!  Really??  Oh old people...gotta love'em.  I explained it's a guy in one of Marcus' shows (gotta keep it simple).  Marcus' likes robbers? No. No.  It's a super-hero.   A robber that's a super-hero?  That doesn't make sense. (You're telling me?)

I totally want to make another one for Marcus when I get more yarn.  Blue one with pointy ears and black outline for the eyes  - BATMAN!  or maybe red with gold out outline for the eyes - IRON MAN!  Now, just to convince The Husband to buy some yarn to make our son happy.  How can he say no to that?!  Also, on the list from my lovely niece is a sock monkey.  I found a sock monkey hat and matching scarf pattern.  Now, to surf the net for a sock monkey doll pattern!

I know of one mom who makes really cool stuff and sells them so she can stay home with her kids.   Hope to get there.  Would love to afford to stay home.   One day.

It feels AMAZING to see the joy in my son's eyes when he woke up to it.  I worked on it all day and into the late night non-stop, but it was worth it.  He hugged me!  Said he loved me!  and put it on right away.  Now he wants mittens to match so he can 'climb walls', as he puts it.  I'm sure in his world he'll have it when he comes back this afternoon.

Yikes!  Better start crack-a-lackin'

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