You can have opposite sex work friends, but you need limits to keep the friendship appropriate.
Sharing issues about your marriage/relationship to your work husband/wife can just lead to trouble. You are better served by sharing your feelings with your REAL husband/wife and communicating with each other. I'm not a total idiot. Sometimes this 'sharing' just leads to more fighting. Well, that's what girlfriends/the guys are for. When you spend 40+ hours with this co-worker, which is probably more time than you spend with anyone else outside of your husband and kids, you need to have boundaries to keep all your relationships healthy. If you are confiding your fears and dreams to your work spouse that you wouldn't with you spouse, than you are having an emotional affair. Which can lead to a slippery slope of a physical affair.
Unfortunately, there are skanks and dirtbags out there that solely look out for the 'taken' man/woman. There are famous home-wreckers. Angelina Jolie is the first one that comes to mind. I agree that Jolie and Pitt seem happier than when Brad was married to Jennifer Anistan. But, if you are married, then you made a commitment to each other to work through all your issues. If you are attracted to another person other than your spouse, than you should stay away from them! Do not go for lunch and think it will not go anywhere. When lust is in the air, the combination of pheromones, hormones, and mutual attraction is dangerous. Mix in opportunity and forgetaboutit.
I've heard some people say "what?! can't I have friends?!?". Sure, but if you are spending time with this 'friend' that could easily be seen as a date, i.e. you went out for food and drinks, what do you think your answer to this 'friendship' should be? Your partner doesn't feel comfortable with your friendship, than you need to identify what the problem is. Are they jealous? Are they justified in being jealous? Is your friendship with this person worth the arguments, mistrust, and destruction of your relationship?
When you'd rather hang out every other day after work than go home to your family, what are you hiding away from? Get your butt home to your wife and kids!
[polldaddy poll=4641970]
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil
It's almost time to pimp my ass for a pay cheque. Going back to work to get paid by The Man in the corporate world so my family can enjoy new clothes, good food, toys, and hopefully a vacation can be snuck in there too. And dear I dream to retire early. I'll probably still work, but only because I want to, not because I have to.
As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs. We don't really need for anything. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc. But, which kid doesn't want another toy? Which husband doesn't want more golf anything? And which wife doesn't want more everything?
Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early. A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing. You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month. I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later. I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before. Probably a bit too often.
But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby. I love the freedom to breast feed on demand. To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing. I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands. Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy. I'd love to stay at home with the kids. Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to. I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home. I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home. It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.
I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son. I only hope that I'm doing a good job. I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding. Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future. I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.
People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out. I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches. But, for me, there is no decision to make. I have to go back. Money is a necessary evil in this world. It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want. Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself. The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day. I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like. Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart. It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive. He's here as a loving husband and father.
Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor. Travel the world like the slums of xyz, then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country. Oh Canada! We have free health care. Welfare. Public housing. Food Banks. Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world. Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things. If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills? Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank? If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you? Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.
[polldaddy poll=4636753]
As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs. We don't really need for anything. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc. But, which kid doesn't want another toy? Which husband doesn't want more golf anything? And which wife doesn't want more everything?
Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early. A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing. You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month. I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later. I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before. Probably a bit too often.
But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby. I love the freedom to breast feed on demand. To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing. I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands. Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy. I'd love to stay at home with the kids. Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to. I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home. I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home. It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.
I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son. I only hope that I'm doing a good job. I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding. Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future. I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.
People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out. I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches. But, for me, there is no decision to make. I have to go back. Money is a necessary evil in this world. It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want. Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself. The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day. I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like. Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart. It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive. He's here as a loving husband and father.
Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor. Travel the world like the slums of xyz, then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country. Oh Canada! We have free health care. Welfare. Public housing. Food Banks. Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world. Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things. If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills? Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank? If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you? Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.
[polldaddy poll=4636753]
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Haters are gonna Hate
One of my Darlings called me the other day to rant about her youth life. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but is teenage life ever that? Sadly, there are a few haters in her school that are giving her a hard time. My MaMa Bear instinct kicked in and I wanted to go down there and kick all those biatches azzes! Excuse the language. When I need to throw down, the ignorant girl in me comes out.
I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse. Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right? Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?! I try being the "cool" aunt. I listen. I try to relate. I did let a couple of swear words slip out. Real mature. I know. :P
I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down. FuKc them. Don't bother with foolishness. Surround yourself with only positive solid people. Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you. They never go away. You'll have them at school. At work. At the gym. At the club. At the park. At your kid's activities. Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that. Don't get sucked into their b.s.
With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated. Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns. Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them. When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do we go to her principal? Do I tell her parents? Do we call the girl's parents? Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?
It's a fine line sometimes. Some people need to be put in their place. Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business. You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow. But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done. They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.
How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school. My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'. Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst. Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?
I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days. All I know is I don't business with them people no more. I left the drama. I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face. I'm married with children living in the suburbs. I don't have time for that b.s.
No more drama.
note: check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II. Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!). His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.
[polldaddy poll=4628048]
I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse. Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right? Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?! I try being the "cool" aunt. I listen. I try to relate. I did let a couple of swear words slip out. Real mature. I know. :P
I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down. FuKc them. Don't bother with foolishness. Surround yourself with only positive solid people. Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you. They never go away. You'll have them at school. At work. At the gym. At the club. At the park. At your kid's activities. Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that. Don't get sucked into their b.s.
With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated. Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns. Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them. When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do we go to her principal? Do I tell her parents? Do we call the girl's parents? Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?
It's a fine line sometimes. Some people need to be put in their place. Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business. You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow. But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done. They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.
How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school. My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'. Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst. Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?
I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days. All I know is I don't business with them people no more. I left the drama. I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face. I'm married with children living in the suburbs. I don't have time for that b.s.
No more drama.
note: check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II. Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!). His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.
[polldaddy poll=4628048]
Saturday, February 26, 2011
First Foods
I love that I am able to stay home for the first year of my baby's life. To be able to give him the best start in his health with breast milk, but to also be able to watch all the milestones so far:
Another big one coming up is feeding him his first taste of food. How exciting!
BRING ON THE MESS!
I made food for my first-born. Well, eventually. When the time came (anywhere between 4-6 months depending on the baby and their cues. Good head control, a growing appetite, and interest in what you're eating are all indications that your baby is ready to try solids.) I wanted to make him food. Well, I dilly and dallied, I didn't know what to start with, and poor baby still hadn't had any solid food. So, I caved and bought a couple of jarred stuff. So, many choices! He ate. He made a mess. We took pictures. By the 3rd jar I wondered if the puree peas tasted as bad as it looked. It did!
After tasting that disgusting flavour, there was no way I was going to feed my baby that processed garbage when I wouldn't eat it myself. Don't get me wrong. When I was in a pinch, it'll have to do. But, making my own was so easy and rewarding. I have a steamer with a built-in timer, so that made it super easy. It also helps to reduce losing the vegetables/fruits nutrients compared to over boiling it. Bust out the hand blender and voilà! Home made delicious baby food. No salt. No preservatives. Made in sterile equipment with clean hands using organic fruits and vegetables.
I even organized a baby food swap party at my place. Moms brought a fruit/vegetable and ice cube trays or baby food freezer try (like an ice-cube try, but holds one ounce per hole and comes with a sealable lid). You come with one, you leave with a variety of foods. We got to learn from each other, laughed, and were able to spend time together. I was so lucky to find 10 wonderful women back then. All of our children were close in age. All were down to earth. Kind. Generous. Funny. Friendly. We met during a parenting group offered by the government facilitated by a registered nurse. It was perfect for first time moms. What to expect for sleeping, postpartum, teeth, food, etc After the session ended, we still met up once a week at someone's house. Then slowly, one by one, we went back to work. Sadly, money is a necessary evil (Post named the same thing to follow soon. Exploring maternity leave and going back to work. A decision for every woman. Sometimes not really a decision as there is no other choice)
But, I digress. Back to baby food. To heat up an ounce of my frozen, nutritious, home-made love, I would heat it up in a hot water bath. Put a bit of boiled water in a bowl. Put a smaller bowl on top. Put food into smaller bowl. Within ~5-minutes the food has melted and a little warm. No microwaves. It will leave hot spots that might burn precious baby. One type of food every 4-7 days. That way if baby has a bad reaction to a food than you'll know which one. After I would start combing the flavours. Squash and peas. Carrots and potatoes. The poos reflected that. Is all I'm saying :P
Of course congee is on the menu. Over cooked rice made into a porridge, flavoured with ground meat or fish. i.e. beef, turkey, chicken, pork, salmon. So good for baby. Great when you are not feeling well, ie cold, stomach flu. Or anytime for a meal. Congee Wong. Congee Queen. Noodle houses. Dim Sum. Congee is everywhere!
I'll post a congee recipe if you would like. Let me know. Have any funny baby feeding stories? Let me know.
[polldaddy poll=4622623]
- following me with his eyes
- being able to hold his head up
- grasping items in his little hands
- turning over
- finding his feet and eating them
- smiling & laughing
Another big one coming up is feeding him his first taste of food. How exciting!
- peas
- carrots
- squash
- sweet potato
- zucchini
- rutabaga
- pears
- apples
- hard-boiled eggs
- bread
BRING ON THE MESS!
I made food for my first-born. Well, eventually. When the time came (anywhere between 4-6 months depending on the baby and their cues. Good head control, a growing appetite, and interest in what you're eating are all indications that your baby is ready to try solids.) I wanted to make him food. Well, I dilly and dallied, I didn't know what to start with, and poor baby still hadn't had any solid food. So, I caved and bought a couple of jarred stuff. So, many choices! He ate. He made a mess. We took pictures. By the 3rd jar I wondered if the puree peas tasted as bad as it looked. It did!
After tasting that disgusting flavour, there was no way I was going to feed my baby that processed garbage when I wouldn't eat it myself. Don't get me wrong. When I was in a pinch, it'll have to do. But, making my own was so easy and rewarding. I have a steamer with a built-in timer, so that made it super easy. It also helps to reduce losing the vegetables/fruits nutrients compared to over boiling it. Bust out the hand blender and voilà! Home made delicious baby food. No salt. No preservatives. Made in sterile equipment with clean hands using organic fruits and vegetables.
I even organized a baby food swap party at my place. Moms brought a fruit/vegetable and ice cube trays or baby food freezer try (like an ice-cube try, but holds one ounce per hole and comes with a sealable lid). You come with one, you leave with a variety of foods. We got to learn from each other, laughed, and were able to spend time together. I was so lucky to find 10 wonderful women back then. All of our children were close in age. All were down to earth. Kind. Generous. Funny. Friendly. We met during a parenting group offered by the government facilitated by a registered nurse. It was perfect for first time moms. What to expect for sleeping, postpartum, teeth, food, etc After the session ended, we still met up once a week at someone's house. Then slowly, one by one, we went back to work. Sadly, money is a necessary evil (Post named the same thing to follow soon. Exploring maternity leave and going back to work. A decision for every woman. Sometimes not really a decision as there is no other choice)
But, I digress. Back to baby food. To heat up an ounce of my frozen, nutritious, home-made love, I would heat it up in a hot water bath. Put a bit of boiled water in a bowl. Put a smaller bowl on top. Put food into smaller bowl. Within ~5-minutes the food has melted and a little warm. No microwaves. It will leave hot spots that might burn precious baby. One type of food every 4-7 days. That way if baby has a bad reaction to a food than you'll know which one. After I would start combing the flavours. Squash and peas. Carrots and potatoes. The poos reflected that. Is all I'm saying :P
Of course congee is on the menu. Over cooked rice made into a porridge, flavoured with ground meat or fish. i.e. beef, turkey, chicken, pork, salmon. So good for baby. Great when you are not feeling well, ie cold, stomach flu. Or anytime for a meal. Congee Wong. Congee Queen. Noodle houses. Dim Sum. Congee is everywhere!
I'll post a congee recipe if you would like. Let me know. Have any funny baby feeding stories? Let me know.
[polldaddy poll=4622623]
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monkey Mix
After watching that train wreck of a family, Jon & Kate Plus 8, in their early episodes where Kate is making Monkey Munch, I always wanted to try it. The name alone sounded fun. Well, I finally got around to Googleing it and found several hundred links. Below is the original recipe. I do urge you to read my notes because I have some awesome suggestions.
The result is a coating of peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness. My pregnant neighbour ate a whole bowl! It's tastes AWESOME!
My notes:
[polldaddy poll=4614042]
The result is a coating of peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness. My pregnant neighbour ate a whole bowl! It's tastes AWESOME!
Ingredients:
- 9 cups Chex cereal (any kind)
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted (6oz.)
- 1/2 cup smooth peanut butter, melted
- 1/4 cup butter, melted
- 1 -2 teaspoon vanilla
- 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
Directions:
- Measure cereal in large bowl.
- Set aside.
- Microwave chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter for 1 minute on high.
- Stir.
- Cook for 30 seconds longer or until smooth.
- Add vanilla.
- Pour mixture over cereal, stirring until coated.
- Pour mixture into large Ziploc bag and add powdered sugar.
- Shake until well coated.
- Spread on waxed paper to cool.
- Store in Ziploc bags or large sealed bowl.
My notes:
- I used a bunch of different cereals, nuts, and pretzels to make up the 9-cups of Chex as in the original recipe:
- 4-cups Quaker Corn Bran Squares since no Chex USA style up here. If you use Crispex like in my Snack Mix Recipe it will just break up and you're left with a bunch of crumbs
- 2-cups Multi-Grain Cheerios
- 2-cups pretzels (to get a sweet and salty flavour)
- 2-cups Shreddies (trying to add fiber where I can)
- I used milk chocolate chips instead of semi-sweet because that's all I had on hand. It still tasted awesome.
- Try using Nutella instead of peanut butter
- Instead of Chocolate Chips, try using Butterscotch chips, or even White Chocolate Chips
- I used parchment paper instead of wax because that's all I had on hand.
- Maybe some dried cranberries?
- 1-cup nuts (I like the crunch of nuts. You can try peanuts, almonds, cashews, etc)
- Someone suggested not using butter, which I tried using less, but the mixture was too thick. The butter makes it more liquidy and easier to spread over the cereal mixture
- If you don't have a big ziplock bag, use small ones (just more hassle though since you have to do batches). Try using a paper bag with the seams at the bottom taped up. Or just keep it in big bowls and toss to mix the powered sugar
- I tried using 1-cup of powdered sugar, but gradually added a bit more 1/4 cup at a time until all my chocolate was coated
[polldaddy poll=4614042]
Discipline
Did you get the beats when you were little? Or did you stand in the corner? When I say 'beats' I don't mean abuse. Abuse is WRONG. I don't mean closed hands, bleeding, or broken bones. I mean discipline. Don't get it twisted. If you are hurting your children you need to stop immediately and get help.
How Franklin's parents raised him was definitely different than how I was raised. Also, the dynamics were different. I was the only girl and my brothers were 9+years older.
When I was young until my early teens it would be the beats. Anybody else get hit with a Chinese feather duster? At first I would get hit until I cried. Then I would cry right away to try and lesson the blows. ha! What was just evil was when I had to go get it so she could hit me with it. \I am not alone who received this type of beats. They have a group on FB for this. My mom was the disciplinarian. Well, they both were, but my mom was the one who doled out the punishment since Dad worked outside of the house. Then when I got older, I would like to categorize it as |Asian guilt. The shame of not honouring your parents and being a good girl. You know. Why a B grade and not an A? My parents were not mega strict. I mean, the expectations were there, but after a certain age, they gave me the freedom to make choices. Sometimes they were the right ones. Sometimes not. But, they gave me the guidance in my younger days. And when I got older, I had to decide.
Now, as Marcus is testing his limits, I am in a position of disciplining him. No feather duster here. We do do the time outs. Then get down to eye level and talk about why he was put in time out. By the third time of telling him not to flick his brother, he might get a 'tap' on the hand. It's funny in a 'oh no you didn't' kind of way when you tell him not to do something, then he'll try and do it when you are not looking. But, of course as a parent you have a spidey sense and you watch him out of the corner of your eye as he looks to see if you are watching while he touches his brother one more time.
Sometimes he is stubborn. He really feels like he is justified in doing ABC and doesn't understand why he can't. He'll try and make deals. "Mom, we'll just eat one more candy, then diaper, teeth, books, go to bed. Deal?" Well, good on you son. You don't give up and you try and negotiate what you want. You're not going to get it, but you try. Good job. Well, you can have it tomorrow. Hopefully you'll forget about promised candy. Yeah right :P
We'll help guide him to make the right choices and steer him back on the path with the 'right' discipline. He'll make mistakes. I prefer to call them life lessons. He'll push the boundaries, but we'll still set them to let him know what is 'acceptable'. Then when he has a choice to make and we're not there to give him a time out, hopefully he'll make the right choice.
Do you have any childhood memories of being disciplined by your parents? Please feel free to share a memory of you being disciplined or you disciplining your kids.
Check out Parent or Friend or Both post too
[polldaddy poll=4610104]
How Franklin's parents raised him was definitely different than how I was raised. Also, the dynamics were different. I was the only girl and my brothers were 9+years older.
When I was young until my early teens it would be the beats. Anybody else get hit with a Chinese feather duster? At first I would get hit until I cried. Then I would cry right away to try and lesson the blows. ha! What was just evil was when I had to go get it so she could hit me with it. \I am not alone who received this type of beats. They have a group on FB for this. My mom was the disciplinarian. Well, they both were, but my mom was the one who doled out the punishment since Dad worked outside of the house. Then when I got older, I would like to categorize it as |Asian guilt. The shame of not honouring your parents and being a good girl. You know. Why a B grade and not an A? My parents were not mega strict. I mean, the expectations were there, but after a certain age, they gave me the freedom to make choices. Sometimes they were the right ones. Sometimes not. But, they gave me the guidance in my younger days. And when I got older, I had to decide.
Now, as Marcus is testing his limits, I am in a position of disciplining him. No feather duster here. We do do the time outs. Then get down to eye level and talk about why he was put in time out. By the third time of telling him not to flick his brother, he might get a 'tap' on the hand. It's funny in a 'oh no you didn't' kind of way when you tell him not to do something, then he'll try and do it when you are not looking. But, of course as a parent you have a spidey sense and you watch him out of the corner of your eye as he looks to see if you are watching while he touches his brother one more time.
Sometimes he is stubborn. He really feels like he is justified in doing ABC and doesn't understand why he can't. He'll try and make deals. "Mom, we'll just eat one more candy, then diaper, teeth, books, go to bed. Deal?" Well, good on you son. You don't give up and you try and negotiate what you want. You're not going to get it, but you try. Good job. Well, you can have it tomorrow. Hopefully you'll forget about promised candy. Yeah right :P
We'll help guide him to make the right choices and steer him back on the path with the 'right' discipline. He'll make mistakes. I prefer to call them life lessons. He'll push the boundaries, but we'll still set them to let him know what is 'acceptable'. Then when he has a choice to make and we're not there to give him a time out, hopefully he'll make the right choice.
Do you have any childhood memories of being disciplined by your parents? Please feel free to share a memory of you being disciplined or you disciplining your kids.
Check out Parent or Friend or Both post too
[polldaddy poll=4610104]
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
On time
I tried. I swear I tried hard. Back in my youth I would show up when I was ready. Sometimes (if not usually) about 2 hrs after I'm supposed to be there. Even for my own birthday! If I had to be somewhere at x o'clock, that's when I would start to get ready. I would rush to shower, choose what to wear, do my hair and make-up, and then head out the door. I'd speed along to get to where I was supposed to be. If it was out of the downtown core, I'd for sure get lost. I rushed through my prep time. I'd speed along in my car. But, I'd still be pretty late. Now, if you tried to call and see where the heck am I, I'd tell you I'm almost there, but more likely than not, I haven't even left my house. Sorry! In my head I tried. I rushed for goodness sake.
Well, Franklin and his Air Cadets career has left him to be a stickler about being on time. With a baby and toddler I feel I have a legitimate reason for running at least 15 minutes behind. Diaper and potty stops. Top up the baby with MaMa's milk. Pack a snack of Shreddies, Crispex, Gold's pretzel sticks, multi-grain crackers, or fruit. Watered down apple juice in his water bottle. A small assortment of toys, play dough, ds, ipod with Calliou videos, etc to keep him in his seat at the restaurant. Boots. Coats. Hat. Mitts. Buckle baby into bucket car seat. That's a minimum of 30-45 mins. if I'm lucky.
If we arrive within 15 minutes of where ever we are supposed to be I think that's acceptable. Usually we're less than that because of Franklin's military ways. Hurry up! It's x:xx! It's x:xy! Come ON! We might get there 'on time', but who the hell needs that kind of stress?!? Give me a break! I'd rather be a few minutes late and not be totally stressed out than be on time and miserable.
I'm just about ready to tell The Husband to go ahead and we'll meet him there. How nice it must be to go out and warm the car while I pack up everything. Yes, I could forego the toys, snack, breast milk top up, but it's just going to be harder later. Marcus cannot sit in his seat at a restaurant for more than 45 minutes. I slowly dole out the toys in 15-20 minute increments to bide our time. If I don't pack a healthy snack, we just end up buying garbage from some where to tide him over while we are out. It's hard enough for kids to eat healthy in this day and age. So, when I have him in the car with no distractions and hungry, a healthy snack is ALWAYS eaten. And a top up is easier than driving with a screaming baby or whipping out the boob in the car or restaurant.
Just this morning I had to be somewhere super early. She said to be there for 7:30 am so we could get breakfast before we go. I told myself 7:15am. She called at 7:21am and I hadn't even left the house yet nor dropped off kid 1! She said not to rush and just get there by 8am. I pack up the car. Pack in kid 1 and than kid 2 (can't wait for them to strap themselves in). Drop off kid 1 and go meet my friend. Was there by 7:58am! Hell Yeah!! She said 8am for next time would still be good to make it to our destination. I was like "Dude! I told myself 7:15am. Let's keep it there".
Either I tell myself I have to be there at T-1 o'clock or do like back when I was younger and not married with children, set my clock ahead so I would be running late, but show up 'on time'.
Preparation is better than reaction. In traveling with the kiddies and in life. Well, as prepared as much as can be. Sometimes $h!t happens and you have to adapt and go with the flow.
Well, Franklin and his Air Cadets career has left him to be a stickler about being on time. With a baby and toddler I feel I have a legitimate reason for running at least 15 minutes behind. Diaper and potty stops. Top up the baby with MaMa's milk. Pack a snack of Shreddies, Crispex, Gold's pretzel sticks, multi-grain crackers, or fruit. Watered down apple juice in his water bottle. A small assortment of toys, play dough, ds, ipod with Calliou videos, etc to keep him in his seat at the restaurant. Boots. Coats. Hat. Mitts. Buckle baby into bucket car seat. That's a minimum of 30-45 mins. if I'm lucky.
If we arrive within 15 minutes of where ever we are supposed to be I think that's acceptable. Usually we're less than that because of Franklin's military ways. Hurry up! It's x:xx! It's x:xy! Come ON! We might get there 'on time', but who the hell needs that kind of stress?!? Give me a break! I'd rather be a few minutes late and not be totally stressed out than be on time and miserable.
I'm just about ready to tell The Husband to go ahead and we'll meet him there. How nice it must be to go out and warm the car while I pack up everything. Yes, I could forego the toys, snack, breast milk top up, but it's just going to be harder later. Marcus cannot sit in his seat at a restaurant for more than 45 minutes. I slowly dole out the toys in 15-20 minute increments to bide our time. If I don't pack a healthy snack, we just end up buying garbage from some where to tide him over while we are out. It's hard enough for kids to eat healthy in this day and age. So, when I have him in the car with no distractions and hungry, a healthy snack is ALWAYS eaten. And a top up is easier than driving with a screaming baby or whipping out the boob in the car or restaurant.
Just this morning I had to be somewhere super early. She said to be there for 7:30 am so we could get breakfast before we go. I told myself 7:15am. She called at 7:21am and I hadn't even left the house yet nor dropped off kid 1! She said not to rush and just get there by 8am. I pack up the car. Pack in kid 1 and than kid 2 (can't wait for them to strap themselves in). Drop off kid 1 and go meet my friend. Was there by 7:58am! Hell Yeah!! She said 8am for next time would still be good to make it to our destination. I was like "Dude! I told myself 7:15am. Let's keep it there".
Either I tell myself I have to be there at T-1 o'clock or do like back when I was younger and not married with children, set my clock ahead so I would be running late, but show up 'on time'.
Preparation is better than reaction. In traveling with the kiddies and in life. Well, as prepared as much as can be. Sometimes $h!t happens and you have to adapt and go with the flow.
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