Check Please!

I love going out to eat.  Sharing a good meal and good conversation is just a win win situation for the body and the mind.  Should a decadent dessert follow, my lips will not say no.  Now, when the bill comes, who pays what?  Your entree might have cost x.xx, but did you factor in tax AND tip?  Don't just round up on your subtotal.   

Now if we just take the bill and divide it up by the number of people at the table, that could work most of the time.  But, for those who prefer to have several drinks with their meal, y'all are making out like bandits!  I don't usually drink too much.  One or two very rarely.  And for those who get a full meal (alcoholic beverage, appetizer, entree, dessert, coffee), and your companion only has an entree, is splitting the bill in half fair?
Sometimes it's just easier to get separate bills.

Now, with family it's different.  We just divide between families.  Four families, than divide by four.  Regardless of the number of people in a family.  For that I think it all works out.  Nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  It's family. 

This reminds me of that episode on Friends about splitting the bill.  So true.

Now, lets say you go to get take out.  Everyone seems to have dispersed while you wait except you.  Bathroom.  Buy alcohol next door.  Buy pantyhose at the Shoppers next door.  The food is ready and you pay the $100+ bill.  You figure everyone will chip in at some point.  But, as the night wears on no one has offered up any cash.  Do you say something?  Do you just catch them next time?  I hate that. 

Let's take it that same idea, but apply it to concert tickets (or something just as expensive).   Buying tickets for several people and then trying to collect from them all is just a hassle and expensive.  Don't make me have to chase you down.  Remind you several times.  And then 'forget' about it.  You are being a total dead beat douche bag.   Sound familiar?  Are you that person??  If someone other than you takes on the responsibility to put it on their credit card or pay for the total, you should pay them back asap.  What makes you so special that we have to pay for every interaction with you??  You wonder why no one volunteers to rent the car for the road trip?  Because of idiots.  Are we grown?  Are we adults?  Maybe I just know too many "ghetto" people.   When I ask for the money up front, it's because I've been burned too many times.  Thanks deadbeats.  You've ruined my generosity for most.

Victims of Rape are NEVER to Blame

Today, Toronto, Ontario, Canada held a ‘SlutWalk’, attracting 1500 participants that was sparked by an officer that told a York University law class on Jan. 24 that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”  There’s tons of quotes that were documented in the news, but one in part in particular that also outraged me was by Police Chief Bill Blair.  “I don’t think the officer meant any offense,”.
The cop who said it is dead wrong, but the fact that the police chief sweeps it under the rug that he didn’t mean any offense and that the officer is “inexperienced” and added that he uttered “something stupid and he’s apologized” just condones this type of outdated, ridiculous, outrages, condescending attitude.  He has put words to his assumptions about victims who have been raped.  And his boss who sets the tone for the organization gives it a ‘boys will be boys’ juvenile acceptance.

This is not a passing attitude lately.  Florida Republican State Representative Kathleen Passidomo said:
“There was an article about an 11-year-old girl who was gang raped in Texas by 18 young men because she was dressed like a 21-year-old prostitute. And her parents let her attend school like that. And I think it’s incumbent upon us to create some areas where students can be safe in school and show up in proper attire so what happened in Texas doesn’t happen to our students.” (quoted from the frisky.com)

I don’t care what the hell someone is wearing no one wants to be raped.  If it was their daughter, sister, aunt, mom, grandmother, or friend, would they still feel the same way?  The fact that they utter those words proves their true feelings, assumptions, and misconceptions about why woman are raped. These idiots are the ones who hold power after the horrific ordeal.  They are the ones who make the laws that the idiots have to follow.  This is a trickle effect that I thought was eradicated.

Currently in the trial of Christopher Hurd who brutally raped Loretta Lavalley pleaded guilty of murdering her, but not to first-degree murder (intent to kill).  This poor woman's rape was recorded for 18 minutes during her 911 call and her screams, pleading for her life, and even the police banging on the door are recorded.  His defense is that he was under the influence of drugs.  You spoke to police officer just minutes before you committed the heinous crime!  You were sober and coherent enough to explain yourself.  Someone please kill this guy.

Woman, as far as you think we have evolved in society, think again.    A 14-yr old girl was charged with adultery, not rape, and was lashed to death in Bangladesh. It was only 92 years ago, in 1918, when women had the same voting rights as men in federal elections.

I am quite passionate of my disdain for the attitudes and actions that condone rape.  I was ranting to a few fellows I know, and they tried to agree that the officer meant to warn the young university girls, and he was not a total a-hole.  Their comparison was someone should not pin $100 dollar bills to their body and walk down a ghetto area at 3am and think they won’t be robbed.   Really?!  OMG!

Let’s focus our energy on telling men to keep their penis in their pants, and when someone says NO, it means NO.  If the person is underage, yes still means no.  They are too young to consent.  It gave me the creeps when I was young and some “old” man would check me out.  It’s not a compliment you dirty mofo.  And if someone is so intoxicated, their yes, should mean no to you.  Their silence from being passed out is no.

Teach your sons.  School your brothers Do not sit silently when you hear your buddies joke.  Rape is not joke.

Over Scheduled

My schedule would consist of eating, sleeping, and playing over at my cousins house.  They were my best friends.  I wasn’t allowed to sleep over at people’s houses.  Thank goodness they just lived one street down from me.  But, I guess this is typical of an immigrants upbringing?  It was for me.

I don’t recall the obscene amount of homework in elementary school as they have today.  I see my niece have homework everyday and she’s only in grade 2!  We gradually got into ballet, jazz, gymnastics, piano lessons, and guitar lessons.  Not all

Allergic Reaction

Scary.  If it is only one word I could use to describe seeing my baby’s eyes start to swell, red blotches appear on his cheeks, neck, arms, behind his ears, around his lips and the irritable crying and scratching of his face.
It couldn’t be the banana.  He’s had it before.  Not his favourite compared to the sweet potato, but he didn’t have a reaction like this.  If I was to play Columbo (he was an old detective from a show back in the day), I would deduce that it was the Milupa rice cereal that I mixed in with the banana.  It was the first time that I’ve used it.  When I introduced rice cereal for the first time before, I used a different brand.  Gerber I think.  I can’t recall since it was my mom who did some grocery shopping for me for a couple of weeks while I had both kids and Franklin was going through his complications.
Considering Franklin had allergies when he was young (he grew out of all of them, but he did have to take allergy needles once a week for several years)  I have been following the general rule when introducing food to your baby.  Feeding him one food every 4-7 days to see if there is a reaction before introducing a new food.  Once all foods (except honey, peanuts, high nitrate vegetables, etc) are sampled, you can start combining foods.  Then the flavour bonanza really begins.

But, I digress.  We first called Emergency.  Then they directed us to telehealth (1-866-797-0000) to speak to a registered nurse to help us decipher if we should go to Emergency, doctor’s office, or stay put.  Since his breathing did not seem impaired and after several other questions, she recommended giving him Benedryl.  We decided to go to the doctor’s office.  Emergency would be several hours, his breathing did not seem impaired, his lips were not turning blue, and I wanted to at least have a medical professional see him.
As soon as he saw him, our doctor said ordered for us to have him tested for allergies right away and get him some benedryl.  Stop feeding him bananas, the new rice cereal, and avocado (he had some a little bit of blotches on his skin).  Seeing him in the daylight, he looked worse that I thought.  Both of his eyes were red and swollen.  But, at least he was not crying and was laughy baby again.  The doctor said to give him 7ml.  The benedryl bottle said 2.5ml/dose.  We gave him  5ml.  After a few hrs he was looking better.  His eyes were still a bit swollen, but he seemed to be on the mend.
I am not looking forward to him going through an allergy test when he is so young.  It is a necessary evil to scratch his tender skin.

Now, I’m a little freaked out to move onto the next food.  Hopefully, butternut squash is not a problem.
Gave him another dose (3ml) and it’s almost all cleared up.  Thank God.

This makes me re-think the ‘no nuts at school’ rules they have.  Is it fair?  How about if it’s one kid out of a school of 100?  I remember some of the teenage baby-mama’s I knew who would complain right left and centre.  They would argue that peanut butter was the only thing their kid would eat or it was the only thing that would be affordable for them since the baby-daddy didn’t pay up.  Why stop only allowing peanuts?  Should they ban other foods also?

I just know that I support it.  Peanuts are in many snacks or may be in a contact due to the way it is made in the factory.  It’s not worth the risk to our little kid’s life.  I pray Lucas doesn’t have that problem.  Carrying around an epi pen to save his life sounds very scary.  I feel for those kids and parents now.  You just never know what or when it may happen.

The Birth

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Well, last week at least.   I'm still sleep deprived.

well, here's the short version:

6 lbs 11 onces. born at 11:54pm.  epidural AND a top up! From first contraction to birth - 28 hrs

The long version:

I went in on Sunday to have them gel me to ripen the cervix at 4:30pm...then went home.
Labour pains started at 8pm
Water broke at 11pm
Labour pains was every 4 minutes and lasting 1 minute long by 12:30. went to hospital
Was only 1 cm. They cannot admit until 3cm. walked around hospital for 2 hrs. Now only 1.5 cm. Went home
Tried to sleep and breath through the pain every 4 minutes.
Called in 7:30 am to hospital to confirm to come in for 8am inducement.
8:30 am at hospital
10 am epidural
Franklin is tired as shit and didn't do any dialysis the night before. He tries to sleep in the room.
He goes to get food from the caf.
He goes home at 2pm to do an Exchange (manual dialysis) and comes back.
He looks even worse. I'm still labouring on. He goes home at 8pm to do another Exchange.
At 8pm I am now at 6cm and they say it can start moving quite quickly now. Franklin's not back!!


My brother Alex comes to visit. He asks if I have a back up. He saw franklin and he doesn't look well. he's at home puking. Yikes!
Call Wendy (my ex-sister-in-law). He can't get a hold of her. double yikes!
Call Sila (Alex's girlfriend in Mississauga). Ask her if she wants to come, but, if Franklin comes back, he's my first choice.
Wendy and Sila both come. Alex is relieved cause he didn't want to come in, but would if I was by myself.
I get top up of Epidural cause I can start to feel the contractions and I don't want to wait until it really hurts and it's too late to get a top up.
11pm - Dr. says we are finally at 8 cm. We can wait a bit for the Epidural to wear off a bit. Nope!! let's try NOW! Ask the doc, if i'm a few minutes past midnight, can we fudge the birth certificate...nope.
All I remember is Wendy saying it's 11:15...11:30...11:45! 11:45! Wendy and Sila each hold a leg...I push...
Baby is born 11:54pm.



Call franklin....we have a son...waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

I remember walking in that morning asking the nurse to knock me out and wake me when we're done. the contractions all night were painful. but, now I can't even remember any of that. I just know I can't stop looking at him and am filled with so much love.



i go home on thurs. franklin is holding the baby and fell down the stairs on saturday morning. jesus!! thank god the baby is ok. franklin is on the ground screaming. he can't breath. i call 911. i pray he hasn't broken his
back. thank goodness there's no internal bleeding or anything broken. he's just super sore and can barely move. greaaaaaaat.

anyways, time for a feeding! and another diaper change....agaaaaaaaain.

ttyl!

Your Wish is My Command

On one's birthday you can have anything you want. For some its birthday weekend, then it turns into birthday week, and I've even seen some people celebrate their birth month!  The ridiculous.  The selfish.  The outrages.  It's all yours for the taking.

My wishes used to be a getaway.  Montreal was a favourite.  The cottage was a good one too.  And of course the end of summer jam would top it off.  A nice dinner had to be in there.  And a great gift.  Jewelry preferably.  Oh how easy the husband had it back then.  The wish list these days are a bit different.

Now, for my son, unless he will physically get hurt, almost anything goes.  A sprinkled donut, pop rock candy, root beer float, time with his Godfather, 3 books to bed, stay up past his bedtime, on top of the Medieval Times, Spidey cake, and tons of presents, over the weekend.  It was nice to have our loved ones call and wish him a happy birthday.  He was so happy.  He doesn't totally get the concept.  He kept singing happy birthday mommy.  LOL

If it is your birthday, ask for all that your heart's desire.  You only get that once a year without looking like a total selfish jerk.

Question:  Reader, please leave a comment and share what was the best/craziest/cheapest/most  expensive/weirdest/worse thing you got for your birthday.  Should be some laughs :)

Should boys play with 'girl' toys or activities?

Companies buy commercial air time to be exposed to their target market for their product.  Well, watch any Treehouse or Disney TV and the commercials are mesmerizing.  I see my son's pupil dilate and the "I want that" begins.  Even for the Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

When I signed Marcus up for some extra activities to take him to while I'm on maternity leave, there was so much to choose from.  I wanted to choose just a few so he can be exposed to different activities and figure out what he likes, but not too many where it's hectic.  Ballet was one that I wanted to stick him in.  All the males in my family were not very supportive.  Not my father, husband, or brothers.  Jeeze.  A man who knows how to move on the dance floor is hawt, right?!

How about if he chooses to become a nurse?   Although giggles were had in "Meet the Fockers" where Greg is stigmatized for being a nurse and not a doctor  in the movie, I'm sure it's not that far off in real life.

Be it toys, activities, careers, I won't even get into dressing (the 80s was quite the mascara era for boys and girls alike), males seem to get the short end of the stick.  If a girl plays with 'boy' toys, then she's a tomboy, but if a boy plays with 'girl' toys he's called a sissy.

Not FAIR!