The Birth

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Well, last week at least.   I'm still sleep deprived.

well, here's the short version:

6 lbs 11 onces. born at 11:54pm.  epidural AND a top up! From first contraction to birth - 28 hrs

The long version:

I went in on Sunday to have them gel me to ripen the cervix at 4:30pm...then went home.
Labour pains started at 8pm
Water broke at 11pm
Labour pains was every 4 minutes and lasting 1 minute long by 12:30. went to hospital
Was only 1 cm. They cannot admit until 3cm. walked around hospital for 2 hrs. Now only 1.5 cm. Went home
Tried to sleep and breath through the pain every 4 minutes.
Called in 7:30 am to hospital to confirm to come in for 8am inducement.
8:30 am at hospital
10 am epidural
Franklin is tired as shit and didn't do any dialysis the night before. He tries to sleep in the room.
He goes to get food from the caf.
He goes home at 2pm to do an Exchange (manual dialysis) and comes back.
He looks even worse. I'm still labouring on. He goes home at 8pm to do another Exchange.
At 8pm I am now at 6cm and they say it can start moving quite quickly now. Franklin's not back!!


My brother Alex comes to visit. He asks if I have a back up. He saw franklin and he doesn't look well. he's at home puking. Yikes!
Call Wendy (my ex-sister-in-law). He can't get a hold of her. double yikes!
Call Sila (Alex's girlfriend in Mississauga). Ask her if she wants to come, but, if Franklin comes back, he's my first choice.
Wendy and Sila both come. Alex is relieved cause he didn't want to come in, but would if I was by myself.
I get top up of Epidural cause I can start to feel the contractions and I don't want to wait until it really hurts and it's too late to get a top up.
11pm - Dr. says we are finally at 8 cm. We can wait a bit for the Epidural to wear off a bit. Nope!! let's try NOW! Ask the doc, if i'm a few minutes past midnight, can we fudge the birth certificate...nope.
All I remember is Wendy saying it's 11:15...11:30...11:45! 11:45! Wendy and Sila each hold a leg...I push...
Baby is born 11:54pm.



Call franklin....we have a son...waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

I remember walking in that morning asking the nurse to knock me out and wake me when we're done. the contractions all night were painful. but, now I can't even remember any of that. I just know I can't stop looking at him and am filled with so much love.



i go home on thurs. franklin is holding the baby and fell down the stairs on saturday morning. jesus!! thank god the baby is ok. franklin is on the ground screaming. he can't breath. i call 911. i pray he hasn't broken his
back. thank goodness there's no internal bleeding or anything broken. he's just super sore and can barely move. greaaaaaaat.

anyways, time for a feeding! and another diaper change....agaaaaaaaain.

ttyl!

Your Wish is My Command

On one's birthday you can have anything you want. For some its birthday weekend, then it turns into birthday week, and I've even seen some people celebrate their birth month!  The ridiculous.  The selfish.  The outrages.  It's all yours for the taking.

My wishes used to be a getaway.  Montreal was a favourite.  The cottage was a good one too.  And of course the end of summer jam would top it off.  A nice dinner had to be in there.  And a great gift.  Jewelry preferably.  Oh how easy the husband had it back then.  The wish list these days are a bit different.

Now, for my son, unless he will physically get hurt, almost anything goes.  A sprinkled donut, pop rock candy, root beer float, time with his Godfather, 3 books to bed, stay up past his bedtime, on top of the Medieval Times, Spidey cake, and tons of presents, over the weekend.  It was nice to have our loved ones call and wish him a happy birthday.  He was so happy.  He doesn't totally get the concept.  He kept singing happy birthday mommy.  LOL

If it is your birthday, ask for all that your heart's desire.  You only get that once a year without looking like a total selfish jerk.

Question:  Reader, please leave a comment and share what was the best/craziest/cheapest/most  expensive/weirdest/worse thing you got for your birthday.  Should be some laughs :)

Should boys play with 'girl' toys or activities?

Companies buy commercial air time to be exposed to their target market for their product.  Well, watch any Treehouse or Disney TV and the commercials are mesmerizing.  I see my son's pupil dilate and the "I want that" begins.  Even for the Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

When I signed Marcus up for some extra activities to take him to while I'm on maternity leave, there was so much to choose from.  I wanted to choose just a few so he can be exposed to different activities and figure out what he likes, but not too many where it's hectic.  Ballet was one that I wanted to stick him in.  All the males in my family were not very supportive.  Not my father, husband, or brothers.  Jeeze.  A man who knows how to move on the dance floor is hawt, right?!

How about if he chooses to become a nurse?   Although giggles were had in "Meet the Fockers" where Greg is stigmatized for being a nurse and not a doctor  in the movie, I'm sure it's not that far off in real life.

Be it toys, activities, careers, I won't even get into dressing (the 80s was quite the mascara era for boys and girls alike), males seem to get the short end of the stick.  If a girl plays with 'boy' toys, then she's a tomboy, but if a boy plays with 'girl' toys he's called a sissy.

Not FAIR!

 

Religion in School Necessary? Is Private schools the only way to get smaller classes?

I am far from a "Bible Thumper", but I may sprinkle in some Merry Christmas, blessings, prayers, hope, etc here and there.  I think everyone has what they need to survive this wicked world.  But, how this foundation of enlightenment is established can start anywhere in this journey called Life.  For some it is through family, in jail, after a life threatening experience, rehab, school, work, etc  Be it God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, Waheguru, Beer, The Wife, or whomever it is, that is your choice.

The Husband and I both went to Catholic elementary schools.  We talked about schooling for our son long ago.  We agreed to have him go to a Catholic elementary school and then he can choose for high school if he wished to go to public or catholic school.  For both of us, it reinforced our foundation of right and wrong, do unto others as you would like others to do unto you, 10 Commandments, and has left me with a bright light of hope during my darkest and loneliest hours.

But, in recent news, there will be a new school built within walking distance from our home.  Another path that both the husband and I walked during our young days.  Walking to school.  Coming home to a hot lunch.  I remember running home at 12pm, shoveling the food down within 10 minutes so I could hurry back to school, but my mom would never let us leave before 12:30.  I only appreciate it now, but I realize she was keeping us out of trouble.  She is so smart, my mom.  I want that for my son.   I want him to come home to a hot lunch.  I want him to be able to walk to school.  Unfortunately, the school will be a Public school.

Now, here is the dilemma.   Do we choose to have him close by and walk home for a hot lunch, but at a public school or drive/bus him to the Catholic school with daily drives home for lunch.  It will be challenging to have The Husband go pick him up everyday for lunch.  But, the foundation that our son will have for life would be worth it.  The argument could be made that we provide the religious foundation while he goes to Public school.  With Sunday school being the reinforcement.  Neither The Husband nor I went to Sunday school.  And I don't know if that will be enough.

Do we send him to a school that is convenient or to the one we feel will educate him on more than just ABCs and 123s?

And just to throw more options into a difficult decision, do we send him to a school near my parent's place so they could help pick him up/take him to school?  They will be watching my Baby 2 for half day and Franklin the other half.  So, it makes it convenient to drop everyone off there.  Not sure if they were going to pick him up for lunch.  We still have time to decide, but I just want to make sure I'm making the best choice for my son's future.  So, now I'll start analyzing like a mad woman.  Read Paralysis by Analysis post to see the inner workings of the gajillion thoughts that go into my decision-making.

ADDITION TO ORIGINAL POST: This is one bonus to writing electronically vs. print.  I can make edits after it has been published.  I wanted to add an argument to include Private schools.  For most of my readers, you may have noticed or read about the increased number of students in the classroom.  For those who currently have children in school do you sometimes feel like you are the after school program with the amount of homework they send home?  We never went to private school, but the idea of smaller classes, individual attention, better marks, and well behaved children sure sound attractive enough to pay their mortgage fees.  Ooops.  I mean their school fees which is equivalent to paying my mortgage.  But, even with the cost, as parents we always make sacrifices when necessary to provide a better future for our children.  Is this one of those necessary charges? or is it just a bubble world that is just all hype?  Montessori is the buzzword when it comes to sending your kids to school.   But, you have to be careful with that too!  Are they just charging Montessori prices, or are they practicing all the great techniques?  How would I know?

Your thoughts?  How did you choose your child's school?  Where did you go?  Did it make a difference to who you are today?

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Spidey Pudding "Poke" Cake

I had a great suggestion from Jilly about a Jello "Poke" Cake.  That set me off to google and go through tons of sites and recipe ideas.

This is my version that I made for Marcus' birthday:

Ingredients:

1 box of Golden cake mix

1 box of chocolate instant pudding

1 tub of whipped cream

Steps:

1. Make cake as per directions on the box


2. After you pull it out of the oven poke holes 1-inch apart.  You can use the end of a wooden spoon, straw, thick end of a chop stick, to give you some ideas


3. Only after the holes are poked, mix the pudding mix with 2-cups of milk until well blended.  Immediately pour over your cake filling the holes (it's ok for spillage all over the top of the cake.  we'll cover that up)


4. Cover and put in fridge to have the pudding thicken.


5. Take it out of the fridge,  uncover, and spread cool whip all over it.

Decorate:

Black rope licorice

Spiderman decal set from the Bulk Barn (or try the baking isle)

Gummy spider candy

1. Make an X using the rope on the cake


2. Make an + using the rope on the cake, now it should kind of look like a star/asterisk *


3. Place rope with a little bit of a dip in between to straight ropes, Web created

1. Add decals and spider candy

Marcus LOVED it!  Especially the Spidey decals and candy.  Everyone loved it.  Even my nieces who don't like pudding.

NOTE:

• Don't take too long pouring the pudding into the cake, otherwise it will thicken and will not pour down the holes


• Try different cake and pudding combinations


• Instead of pudding you can use Jello


• Mix some pudding into the cool whip before spreading


• Make 2 packages of pudding to fill holes and spread over top of cake, then either top with whip cream or omit it


• Playing around with contrasting colors can be fun too. Such as; white cake with chocolate pudding, chocolate cake with vanilla pudding or a real pretty one is white cake with pistachio pudding.

Original Recipe that I've seen several times during my research:

Pudding Poke Cake

1 pkg. (2 layer size) cake mix (white, yellow or chocolate)

Topping:

2 pkgs. (4 serving size) Jell-O chocolate instant pudding and pie filling (may also be creative with different flavors)

1/2 or 1 cup confectioners' sugar

4 cups cold milk

Prepare and bake cake mix as directed on package for 13x9 inch cake. Remove from oven. Poke holes at once down through cake to pan with round handle of wooden spoon (or poke holes with plastic drinking straw, using turning motion to make large holes.) Holes should be at 1 inch intervals. Only after the holes are made, combine pudding mix with sugar in large bowl. Gradually stir in milk. Beat with electric mixer at low speed for not more than 1 minute. Do not over beat. Quickly, before pudding thickens, pour about 1/2 of the thin pudding evenly over warm cake and into holes (This will make stripes in cake.) Allow remaining pudding to thicken slightly, then spoon over the top, swirling it to "frost" the cake. Chill at least 1 hour. Store cake in refrigerator. 

Mommies United

I love reading everyone's comments.  I appreciate the time it takes to read, but to go the extra mile and put down some words to your reaction to my blog keeps me motivated.

Some particular comments have been from the other mommy's who read.  I may face some additional challenges when Franklin is not feeling well, but overall when it comes to our kids, i.e. growing up, diaper funnies, we all have been there.  It doesn't matter what race, religion, economics, city, or country you are from, as a mommy, you can relate to the night time feedings in their first few months of life, feeding them their first foods beyond milk, etc. Losing the baby weight hasn't been easy, but my Biggest Loser competition is helping.  We're even in our weekly pay offs but I'm down overall percentage and weight.  Yah me!

And for those who have found their life partner/husband/partner/best friend for life, I love reading your comments too!  When I blogged about chores, I love the comment on my FB that went something like "Finally, someone else who b!t3ches about this".  LOL  Nice to know I'm not the only one with a husband who slacks on chores at times.  In the early days of this blog I posted about Happy Wife Happy Life and I think it hit home for many of us in a committed relationship.

And for those who decide to go back to work because $$ is a necessary evil in this dual income society, it's not always so easy to decide.  My time is coming soon.  I enjoy my job and I have a supportive boss who acknowledges my 110% effort, positive attitude and extensive experience and skills.  (My modesty too! LOL)  With Marcus, I was able to do a gradual transition back.  A few days a week at reduced hours, then a couple more days at full hours, etc.  This helped big time!  It helped me to form my routine with getting everyone dressed, the separation anxiety for my baby and me (probably more me), and to face the Go Train (read that post for some laughs about the commuter's reality).

Through diapers, first foods, birthdays, losing the baby weight and maternity leave, you have read and shared the emotional roller coaster that is today's mommy.  Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day of working, cooking, cleaning, and child rearing.

We are amazing.

(We can do it ALL!)

 

From Toddler to Little Man

My first born is growing into a little man.  As his birthday approaches I wonder what to do for his birthday.  Having watched all these crazy reality show about kid birthday parties, I know what I don't want.  We did a big dinner for his one month (tradition), but nothing big like that since.  We decided to do Medieval Times.  Swords.  Knights.  I sure hope he likes it.  With just immediate family we sit at 18 people.

It's bitter sweet having my son grow up.  Next thing he'll be going to school and I think I might either do a jig or die inside.   It's already choking me up sometimes to have a conversation with him.  To see his wheels turning in his head as he thinks about what he trying to explain.  He's so smart.  Sometimes too smart.  He's into the "why" stage.  He's just trying to understand why things are the way the are.  But, when you get the 10,000th "why", I now understand where "because I said so" originated.

I still have moments where the light bulb flashes bright and I can't believe I'm a mom.  What happened to the days where I'd go dancing each weekend, meet random people, hit the casino on a while at midnight, follow the charity casinos to play black jack, shopping sprees, etc

I've traded it for diapers, sleepless nights, random hugs of unconditional love, hearing "mommy", teaching, etc

Not better or worse.  Just different.  I liked being childless and the carefree life it afforded.  But, I love having my children.  Even when it comes with the poo emergencies, the 5:30am shows, loads of laundry, etc

Now to bake his birthday cake.  Blow up balloons.  Arrange rides for some of the family.  Make loot bags.