You are FIRED!

With social networking, particularly Facebook, it seems that employers can do a little detective work before investing in a potential employee.  But, should companies be allowed to fire employees for what they do outside of work time?  I still don’t understand how people do not have high security on their profile.  I guess they don’t mind anyone trolling through their wall, seeing their pictures, reading their likes and groups listed.   They don’t mind the stalkers, perverts, potential employers, head hunters, trollers, or weirdos going through their online identity.  I guess I just have too much to hide.  Although I do have a public blog, so who am I to judge?!

You never want to run into your boss while you are getting wasted at the local pub.  It’s almost as weird as seeing your teacher outside of the classroom setting.  But, when you see another side of them that you are normally not privy to, it can be quite the eye opener.

Now, I do not entirely agree with firing someone for what they do outside of work, but it does lend to what type of person they are.  If some dude is addicted to crack and he drives a school bus, I think I would support random drug testing and getting them fired.  How about the chiropractor who has an addiction to Oxycontin?  Are they really the modest, diligent, conservative individual when you see pictures of them in a ho-esque outfit with white powder on the outside rim of their nose and HUGE dilated pupils?  Maybe at work they ARE that person, but now that I know you can be that other person too, I’m not sure I can take your word of commitment seriously.  You are just masquerading as a hardworker, when really you are a Pepsi head that comes in late 3 times a week.

Maybe you can balance both the party and the work world.  Many people can.  Who doesn’t need a break after a long, hard week?  Why should you be punished for what you do on your own time when it doesn’t effect your work?  You’re a Project Manager/Web Designer/Instructor/Accountant/Tech Support/Analyst/etc.  No on is going to die if I go to a 3-day rave and go directly to work Monday.
It’s a slippery slope.  But, somethings are just so obvious.

But, if you’re killed someone due to Drinking and Driving, I don’t want you driving the subway.  If you’ve O.D. but were brought back, I don’t think you should work as a counselor at a rehab clinic.  If you leave your elderly mom in an uninsulated garage while you live in the house, your compassion and empathy are not meeting standards required to work as a director at an old age home.

But, once your honour/character comes into question, people will deal with you differently.  Even those who say they don’t judge people.  In the back of your mind you wonder if you can trust them after you read on thedirty.com that they blah, blah, blah.  Which probably isn’t true, but that’s how haters hate with their rumours.

Don’t be your own idiot that sabotages yourself.  Pictures of you toking, hitting the bong, snorting a line, etc is for you and your friends.  Make sure you lock down your profile.  Create groups with restricted access.  Un-tag yourself.  In this digital age, those embarrassing photos in your youth/now will come back to haunt you as they live on forever.

Mid-Point Weigh in: It's not looking good

Well we're in the long hall of things.  I haven't been able to go to my exercise classes for several weeks due to Franklin's health complications.  I could just use that as a scapegoat (which I TOTALLY AM), but if I was being honest, I could still exercise at home.  I have a couple of Richard Simmond DVDs.  Anyone feel to send me some exercise DVDs that they swear by send me a message via the CONTACT ME page on this blog.  My big butt needs all the help I can get! LOL

So, as I'm chatting with Franklin this morning (don't you love the morning chats before the kids wake up?) and it went something like this:

Me:  If I eat sensibly today I might have a chance to win the big weigh in today ($20)
Him: You should be eating sensibly every day
Me:  It's been a little hard lately (rolls eyes) I feel like giving up.

Him:  Don't give up.  You're doing REALLY good.
Me:  mmmhhmmm
Him:  Your brother's probably just lost water.  But, you've made a real difference.  Really.  You can tell the difference from when you first started.  You're smaller.  You look good (wiggles eyebrows)
Me:  Ok.  Shut up now.  Your compliments are bordering on insults.  So, Thank You and STFU now.
Us: (DWL)
(On queue, children wake up)

The ice cream, cake, cookies, pizza, burgers, double-double coffee, late night dinners, bowls of sugary cereal instead of my usual  Shreddies with blueberries and skim milk for breakfast, these past few weeks are not going to help matters.  I haven't gained (thank goodness), but I may have only lost 1/2-1 lb if I'm lucky.
We'll see soon enough.

Don't let others dictate your self-worth

No, I'm not talking 'self love' as Tweet sings it (listen to the song.  good beat).  I'm talking about loving yourself completely. O.k.  Tweet's saying that too.  LOL  I love how Wikipedia defines self-love.  "Self-love is the strong sense of respect for and confidence in oneself.  Self-love can be taught in childhood through honesty, acceptance and unconditional love."

But, seriously, don't let anyone's actions and inaction, or words dictate what your self-worth is valued at.  You work hard at being a good person.  You turn the other cheek to all the adversaries you face.  You make choices that although you don't want to make them, you know it is for the best.  I'm not here to say thank you for not stealing, sleeping with some loser guy who tells you he loves you or spends a little cash on you to make you think you are special, or staying in school and making your best effort.  Those are expected.  You ARE special.   At first glance, particularly when you are young, you feel very 'lucky' to have someone buy you things.  Nothing in life is free.  Sadly, a large percent of young male hormones are motivated by something.  Is all I'm saying....something.

I wish I could explain other people's actions.  Why they choose the things they do.  How it affects people.  Short term and long-term.  But, I can't.  I can't control what they do.  But, I can focus on the positives in my life to know what they do will not bring me down or make me question my value.  I have those who love me.  Who support me.  Who are proud of me.  Those are the ones I will focus on.  Those are the ones who will fill me heart.  If I let the self-doubt creep in, I will shatter and cry.  I just don't want to be there.  Ever again.

I won't lie and say there are not moments of vulnerability.  But, when those moments creep into you conscience, remember that you are never alone.  You are a good person.  You try your best.  Be proud of yourself.  No matter what mistakes (I prefer to call them a life lesson.  No one is perfect.  Mistakes have to happen to learn what works and what doesn't), you are still a fantastic, hardworking, funny, loving, honest, special, person.

Bad Breath

Please do not talk directly at me. 

Stinky breath.  Sometimes it's you.  Sometimes it's the other person.  How do you tell them without being offensive?  I know it's me when I see someone do the old finger-under-the-nose bit.  Really?  The finger you've had up your butt smells better than my breath?  I better try and inhale while I talk with my stank mouth.  haha

Sometimes you just know your breath is not at its freshest.  You've had some garlic, durian, onions or the old smoking and coffee combo.  But, if you haven't opened your mouth for a couple of hours because you're working hard at your desk, then your mouth bacteria has been building up.   You better hope the next person
that you talk to is on the phone!

When someone offers me gum I ALWAYS take it.  They might be just being nice and sharing, but it could be that my breath stinks and I need it.  You should take it too!  I'm just saying...

On t.v. they always show people waking up in the morning and 'getting busy'.  Is that real??  Morning breath is the most lethal of dragon breath.  The plaque.  The hours for the bacteria in your mouth to multiply.   Sometimes I will blow my bad morning breath to wake Franklin up.  Never funny to him.  Although I'm cracking up.  That's love.  Or it's been to gether too long.  Probably both. 

What's worse is when someone is a close talker that has bad breath.  You can feel their breath on your cheeks and the stink makes your eye water.  And to top it off, if they are an acquaintance or worse, at an job interview where you have to be pleasant, how do you fake it and still get the job?


If you are a good friend, I am not above calling you out straight up.  With an exaggerated "DAAAAAAAMN".    That is a real friend.  Someone who will tell you when you need help.  Not, nodding polity and excuse myself to throw-up behind your back. 

If you can't tell me to my face, please offer me gum. :)

Check Please!

I love going out to eat.  Sharing a good meal and good conversation is just a win win situation for the body and the mind.  Should a decadent dessert follow, my lips will not say no.  Now, when the bill comes, who pays what?  Your entree might have cost x.xx, but did you factor in tax AND tip?  Don't just round up on your subtotal.   

Now if we just take the bill and divide it up by the number of people at the table, that could work most of the time.  But, for those who prefer to have several drinks with their meal, y'all are making out like bandits!  I don't usually drink too much.  One or two very rarely.  And for those who get a full meal (alcoholic beverage, appetizer, entree, dessert, coffee), and your companion only has an entree, is splitting the bill in half fair?
Sometimes it's just easier to get separate bills.

Now, with family it's different.  We just divide between families.  Four families, than divide by four.  Regardless of the number of people in a family.  For that I think it all works out.  Nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  It's family. 

This reminds me of that episode on Friends about splitting the bill.  So true.

Now, lets say you go to get take out.  Everyone seems to have dispersed while you wait except you.  Bathroom.  Buy alcohol next door.  Buy pantyhose at the Shoppers next door.  The food is ready and you pay the $100+ bill.  You figure everyone will chip in at some point.  But, as the night wears on no one has offered up any cash.  Do you say something?  Do you just catch them next time?  I hate that. 

Let's take it that same idea, but apply it to concert tickets (or something just as expensive).   Buying tickets for several people and then trying to collect from them all is just a hassle and expensive.  Don't make me have to chase you down.  Remind you several times.  And then 'forget' about it.  You are being a total dead beat douche bag.   Sound familiar?  Are you that person??  If someone other than you takes on the responsibility to put it on their credit card or pay for the total, you should pay them back asap.  What makes you so special that we have to pay for every interaction with you??  You wonder why no one volunteers to rent the car for the road trip?  Because of idiots.  Are we grown?  Are we adults?  Maybe I just know too many "ghetto" people.   When I ask for the money up front, it's because I've been burned too many times.  Thanks deadbeats.  You've ruined my generosity for most.

Victims of Rape are NEVER to Blame

Today, Toronto, Ontario, Canada held a ‘SlutWalk’, attracting 1500 participants that was sparked by an officer that told a York University law class on Jan. 24 that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”  There’s tons of quotes that were documented in the news, but one in part in particular that also outraged me was by Police Chief Bill Blair.  “I don’t think the officer meant any offense,”.
The cop who said it is dead wrong, but the fact that the police chief sweeps it under the rug that he didn’t mean any offense and that the officer is “inexperienced” and added that he uttered “something stupid and he’s apologized” just condones this type of outdated, ridiculous, outrages, condescending attitude.  He has put words to his assumptions about victims who have been raped.  And his boss who sets the tone for the organization gives it a ‘boys will be boys’ juvenile acceptance.

This is not a passing attitude lately.  Florida Republican State Representative Kathleen Passidomo said:
“There was an article about an 11-year-old girl who was gang raped in Texas by 18 young men because she was dressed like a 21-year-old prostitute. And her parents let her attend school like that. And I think it’s incumbent upon us to create some areas where students can be safe in school and show up in proper attire so what happened in Texas doesn’t happen to our students.” (quoted from the frisky.com)

I don’t care what the hell someone is wearing no one wants to be raped.  If it was their daughter, sister, aunt, mom, grandmother, or friend, would they still feel the same way?  The fact that they utter those words proves their true feelings, assumptions, and misconceptions about why woman are raped. These idiots are the ones who hold power after the horrific ordeal.  They are the ones who make the laws that the idiots have to follow.  This is a trickle effect that I thought was eradicated.

Currently in the trial of Christopher Hurd who brutally raped Loretta Lavalley pleaded guilty of murdering her, but not to first-degree murder (intent to kill).  This poor woman's rape was recorded for 18 minutes during her 911 call and her screams, pleading for her life, and even the police banging on the door are recorded.  His defense is that he was under the influence of drugs.  You spoke to police officer just minutes before you committed the heinous crime!  You were sober and coherent enough to explain yourself.  Someone please kill this guy.

Woman, as far as you think we have evolved in society, think again.    A 14-yr old girl was charged with adultery, not rape, and was lashed to death in Bangladesh. It was only 92 years ago, in 1918, when women had the same voting rights as men in federal elections.

I am quite passionate of my disdain for the attitudes and actions that condone rape.  I was ranting to a few fellows I know, and they tried to agree that the officer meant to warn the young university girls, and he was not a total a-hole.  Their comparison was someone should not pin $100 dollar bills to their body and walk down a ghetto area at 3am and think they won’t be robbed.   Really?!  OMG!

Let’s focus our energy on telling men to keep their penis in their pants, and when someone says NO, it means NO.  If the person is underage, yes still means no.  They are too young to consent.  It gave me the creeps when I was young and some “old” man would check me out.  It’s not a compliment you dirty mofo.  And if someone is so intoxicated, their yes, should mean no to you.  Their silence from being passed out is no.

Teach your sons.  School your brothers Do not sit silently when you hear your buddies joke.  Rape is not joke.

Over Scheduled

My schedule would consist of eating, sleeping, and playing over at my cousins house.  They were my best friends.  I wasn’t allowed to sleep over at people’s houses.  Thank goodness they just lived one street down from me.  But, I guess this is typical of an immigrants upbringing?  It was for me.

I don’t recall the obscene amount of homework in elementary school as they have today.  I see my niece have homework everyday and she’s only in grade 2!  We gradually got into ballet, jazz, gymnastics, piano lessons, and guitar lessons.  Not all