The plan was to stay home. Do 5 loads of laundry, wash dishes, bake cookies with The Boy, take a nap, and watch movies. It started out o.k. Both kiddies slept in 1-hr longer than usual. They're tired too from all this. I call to check how The Husband is doing. Did he get dialysis? The nurse's response was "weren't you here yesterday?". What?!? That set me off! I still try to stay calm and explain that I was told in the morning he would be going in the afternoon, but he still hadn't received any when I left late afternoon. A curt "yes, he got it" was her response. Also, Franklin pulled out one of the tubes. WTF?? Why?! This b!t3h wasn't explaining anything.
I didn't want to bother W again considering everything she and my nieces have done for me. Niecey had plans today. But, fearing the worst I had to get down there. I would bring the baby in with me if I had to. I call W to ask her to drive down with me again. As much as I hate to burden her again and the guilt I feel, I put that all aside because I need to find out what's happening to my Darling! I woke her up (add another lbs of guilt) and explain the situation. I start crying. I am afraid of not knowing and thinking the worst.
She is a pillar of strength. She calms me down. Helps me line up what I need to get done so I can get going. Feed baby. Pump milk. Dress children. Arrange Marcus care. Did I eat? I wouldn't have even thought of that to even be put on the list! I am determined to get going.
I pack up the car and drive over to get W. I am ready to tear someone up! If anything has happened to my Darling the poor person who has to explain it to me will feel my wrath. Don't get it twisted. I may live in the suburbs now, but I done grow up downtown. I am angry and someone will pay.
To my surprise Niecey has canceled her plans and coming with us (add more lbs of guilt and burden). I push all my emotions of guilt, burden, fear, and anger aside. None of those emotions are helping matters. I feel empty.
As we drive down Franklin calls. His mom is there. He is o.k. He didn't even know he pulled out the tube. It's been put back. The journey to recovery continues.
I feel emotionally drained.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Balancing Act II
No Zumba. No Swimming lessons. But at least I was going to go see him. All thanks to the time, generosity, kindness, patience, and unconditional love of Marcus' Godmother (W) and my parents. My parents would watch my toddler while W. would drive me down to see The Husband and wait in the car with the baby. I was able to have it all. See my husband in the hospital and not have the kids exposed to any germs at the hospital.
I had told one of his brothers that he was there and fortunately met him in the hall. We talked with Franklin about telling his mom. We chatted and joked it up a bit. It didn't help that one of the 'roommates' had the t.v. on as if they were in their own living room. Get a headset or turn it down! Jeeze. Also, he was still hadn't gone for dialysis. I tried to get him a semi-private, asked the nurses to help us defuse the issue with the roommate (since Frankie 'yelled' at them him the night before), and went to get him some drinkage (no food allowed. he hasn't eaten since Wednesday night!). Text comes in "baby's starting to melt down". I have to leave. Balance.
Off to my weekly family dinner. Home cooked meal. Hang with the fam. I call and tell his mom. She is thankful that I told her. I am lucky to have such a great mother-in-law. She has her 'annoying' bits, but who doesn't? It's a 'good' day. Well, good as it's going to get. When I go home, my brother offers to drive me and my car home. I say "it's ok. I've been doing it". He had the best answer "I know you have, but now you don't have to".
Read about the next day with Balance Act III post.
Or read how it all started with Balance between Husband and Children post.
I had told one of his brothers that he was there and fortunately met him in the hall. We talked with Franklin about telling his mom. We chatted and joked it up a bit. It didn't help that one of the 'roommates' had the t.v. on as if they were in their own living room. Get a headset or turn it down! Jeeze. Also, he was still hadn't gone for dialysis. I tried to get him a semi-private, asked the nurses to help us defuse the issue with the roommate (since Frankie 'yelled' at them him the night before), and went to get him some drinkage (no food allowed. he hasn't eaten since Wednesday night!). Text comes in "baby's starting to melt down". I have to leave. Balance.
Off to my weekly family dinner. Home cooked meal. Hang with the fam. I call and tell his mom. She is thankful that I told her. I am lucky to have such a great mother-in-law. She has her 'annoying' bits, but who doesn't? It's a 'good' day. Well, good as it's going to get. When I go home, my brother offers to drive me and my car home. I say "it's ok. I've been doing it". He had the best answer "I know you have, but now you don't have to".
Read about the next day with Balance Act III post.
Or read how it all started with Balance between Husband and Children post.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Balance between Husband and Children
The kids will win 99.9% of the time. But, it breaks my heart to do it.
Franklin woke me at 5am. "Babe, I'm in pain". Oh no. It was his day off of doing dialysis treatment (he gets two days off a week because his job is keeping himself alive with proper treatment). I call the ambulance and the roller coaster ride begins.
I leave the kids with my parents for 5-hrs. Then leave them with their Godmother for another 5-hrs. Franklin is at Emerg at the hospital up here for 15-hrs before they transfer him to the proper hospital. They have blinders on as soon as they hear dialysis. "We do not provide treatment for that here". No $h!t Sherlock! Treat the issue while you make arrangements to get him dialysis at the right hospital. Instead, it takes 8- hrs to finally get the go-ahead to transfer him to the right hospital, all the while only taking 1 x-ray and keep him pumped with narcotics for the pain. It takes another 7-hrs to finally transfer him. Note: Since it took so long, the dialysis treatment centre at the hospital is closed for the night and he will now be 2-days without treatment. Toxins, liquid level, and blood pressure is on the rise. His face, belly, and hands are already puffy.
I have been popping in and out a couple of times to feed my 5-month old and to transfer him between caretakers. He's not taking to the bottled breast milk that I've pumped which isn't much since I haven't pumped on the regular since the first month when I wanted Franklin to try to do some feedings. I keep telling myself to keep an emergency supply in the freezer. sigh. When I finally pick up the kids, both my loving ad indispensable go-to offer to take care of my toddler tomorrow if I need a break. My poor baby was crying a lot and very loudly with both of them.
I need to be there for m husband. To speak for him since he is on morphine every two hours. To rub his back with my reassuring touch. To feed him ice chips since he can't have food, hasn't had food in a couple of days, and he drank half a bottle of iced tea in one long gulp he was so thirsty.
But, how can I be there for him? Bring my 5-month old to spend hours at the hospital? Every instinct says (and everyone else also) it is not a good idea to do that. I agree. Especially when I was with him at Emergency and saw 3 rooms where anyone entering the room had to put on a mask, gown, and gloves to enter. Even the food server! What kind of airborne stuff do they have?! As a healthy adult, I might be o.k. but, I just cannot risk that with my baby. Or can I?
I am torn. It physically hurts to think of my husband drugged up at the hospital on his own. But, I just can't bring the baby down there. Baby wins. But, really, there are no winners here. We all pay the price of this horrible kidney failure.
I am afraid. My uncle passed away several months ago very quickly (1 week!) when he went to the hospital. He also had kidney disease. Franklin has been in hospital many times, but this time with new baby, uncle's recent death, and my 5am wake ups (with no naps during the day) for the last few weeks, I broke down and cried a bit. Sobbed actually. Red rimmed eyeballs, puffy lids, snot drippings, just a plain mess.
I've been sticking my head in the ground and refuse to acknowledge the death sentence we are living. Without dialysis he will die. It is slowly killing him too. The very thing that is saving him is killing him. I live in my bubble and pretend he will be here forever and we will share our golden years exploring the next chapter in our lives. It's the only way I know how to survive each day for the last 10+ years. But, right now with him in the hospital alone feels too bright and harsh. Too real. I want him home and I want to stick my head in the sand again. Ignorance is bliss.
Do I tell his mother? He says no. She will be upset. If I tell, he gets mad. If I don't tell she gets mad. This is not the first time I haven't told her of his hospital stay. I know as a mother I would want to know. But, what do I do as a wife?
I hate incompetent, cold-hearted medical "professionals", bureaucracy, shortage of beds in hospitals, and most of all Kidney Disease.
This sucks.
See the next day in Balance Act II
[polldaddy poll=4658202] [polldaddy poll=4658220]
Franklin woke me at 5am. "Babe, I'm in pain". Oh no. It was his day off of doing dialysis treatment (he gets two days off a week because his job is keeping himself alive with proper treatment). I call the ambulance and the roller coaster ride begins.
I leave the kids with my parents for 5-hrs. Then leave them with their Godmother for another 5-hrs. Franklin is at Emerg at the hospital up here for 15-hrs before they transfer him to the proper hospital. They have blinders on as soon as they hear dialysis. "We do not provide treatment for that here". No $h!t Sherlock! Treat the issue while you make arrangements to get him dialysis at the right hospital. Instead, it takes 8- hrs to finally get the go-ahead to transfer him to the right hospital, all the while only taking 1 x-ray and keep him pumped with narcotics for the pain. It takes another 7-hrs to finally transfer him. Note: Since it took so long, the dialysis treatment centre at the hospital is closed for the night and he will now be 2-days without treatment. Toxins, liquid level, and blood pressure is on the rise. His face, belly, and hands are already puffy.
I have been popping in and out a couple of times to feed my 5-month old and to transfer him between caretakers. He's not taking to the bottled breast milk that I've pumped which isn't much since I haven't pumped on the regular since the first month when I wanted Franklin to try to do some feedings. I keep telling myself to keep an emergency supply in the freezer. sigh. When I finally pick up the kids, both my loving ad indispensable go-to offer to take care of my toddler tomorrow if I need a break. My poor baby was crying a lot and very loudly with both of them.
I need to be there for m husband. To speak for him since he is on morphine every two hours. To rub his back with my reassuring touch. To feed him ice chips since he can't have food, hasn't had food in a couple of days, and he drank half a bottle of iced tea in one long gulp he was so thirsty.
But, how can I be there for him? Bring my 5-month old to spend hours at the hospital? Every instinct says (and everyone else also) it is not a good idea to do that. I agree. Especially when I was with him at Emergency and saw 3 rooms where anyone entering the room had to put on a mask, gown, and gloves to enter. Even the food server! What kind of airborne stuff do they have?! As a healthy adult, I might be o.k. but, I just cannot risk that with my baby. Or can I?
I am torn. It physically hurts to think of my husband drugged up at the hospital on his own. But, I just can't bring the baby down there. Baby wins. But, really, there are no winners here. We all pay the price of this horrible kidney failure.
I am afraid. My uncle passed away several months ago very quickly (1 week!) when he went to the hospital. He also had kidney disease. Franklin has been in hospital many times, but this time with new baby, uncle's recent death, and my 5am wake ups (with no naps during the day) for the last few weeks, I broke down and cried a bit. Sobbed actually. Red rimmed eyeballs, puffy lids, snot drippings, just a plain mess.
I've been sticking my head in the ground and refuse to acknowledge the death sentence we are living. Without dialysis he will die. It is slowly killing him too. The very thing that is saving him is killing him. I live in my bubble and pretend he will be here forever and we will share our golden years exploring the next chapter in our lives. It's the only way I know how to survive each day for the last 10+ years. But, right now with him in the hospital alone feels too bright and harsh. Too real. I want him home and I want to stick my head in the sand again. Ignorance is bliss.
Do I tell his mother? He says no. She will be upset. If I tell, he gets mad. If I don't tell she gets mad. This is not the first time I haven't told her of his hospital stay. I know as a mother I would want to know. But, what do I do as a wife?
I hate incompetent, cold-hearted medical "professionals", bureaucracy, shortage of beds in hospitals, and most of all Kidney Disease.
This sucks.
See the next day in Balance Act II
[polldaddy poll=4658202] [polldaddy poll=4658220]
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Work Spouse
You can have opposite sex work friends, but you need limits to keep the friendship appropriate.
Sharing issues about your marriage/relationship to your work husband/wife can just lead to trouble. You are better served by sharing your feelings with your REAL husband/wife and communicating with each other. I'm not a total idiot. Sometimes this 'sharing' just leads to more fighting. Well, that's what girlfriends/the guys are for. When you spend 40+ hours with this co-worker, which is probably more time than you spend with anyone else outside of your husband and kids, you need to have boundaries to keep all your relationships healthy. If you are confiding your fears and dreams to your work spouse that you wouldn't with you spouse, than you are having an emotional affair. Which can lead to a slippery slope of a physical affair.
Unfortunately, there are skanks and dirtbags out there that solely look out for the 'taken' man/woman. There are famous home-wreckers. Angelina Jolie is the first one that comes to mind. I agree that Jolie and Pitt seem happier than when Brad was married to Jennifer Anistan. But, if you are married, then you made a commitment to each other to work through all your issues. If you are attracted to another person other than your spouse, than you should stay away from them! Do not go for lunch and think it will not go anywhere. When lust is in the air, the combination of pheromones, hormones, and mutual attraction is dangerous. Mix in opportunity and forgetaboutit.
I've heard some people say "what?! can't I have friends?!?". Sure, but if you are spending time with this 'friend' that could easily be seen as a date, i.e. you went out for food and drinks, what do you think your answer to this 'friendship' should be? Your partner doesn't feel comfortable with your friendship, than you need to identify what the problem is. Are they jealous? Are they justified in being jealous? Is your friendship with this person worth the arguments, mistrust, and destruction of your relationship?
When you'd rather hang out every other day after work than go home to your family, what are you hiding away from? Get your butt home to your wife and kids!
[polldaddy poll=4641970]
Sharing issues about your marriage/relationship to your work husband/wife can just lead to trouble. You are better served by sharing your feelings with your REAL husband/wife and communicating with each other. I'm not a total idiot. Sometimes this 'sharing' just leads to more fighting. Well, that's what girlfriends/the guys are for. When you spend 40+ hours with this co-worker, which is probably more time than you spend with anyone else outside of your husband and kids, you need to have boundaries to keep all your relationships healthy. If you are confiding your fears and dreams to your work spouse that you wouldn't with you spouse, than you are having an emotional affair. Which can lead to a slippery slope of a physical affair.
Unfortunately, there are skanks and dirtbags out there that solely look out for the 'taken' man/woman. There are famous home-wreckers. Angelina Jolie is the first one that comes to mind. I agree that Jolie and Pitt seem happier than when Brad was married to Jennifer Anistan. But, if you are married, then you made a commitment to each other to work through all your issues. If you are attracted to another person other than your spouse, than you should stay away from them! Do not go for lunch and think it will not go anywhere. When lust is in the air, the combination of pheromones, hormones, and mutual attraction is dangerous. Mix in opportunity and forgetaboutit.
I've heard some people say "what?! can't I have friends?!?". Sure, but if you are spending time with this 'friend' that could easily be seen as a date, i.e. you went out for food and drinks, what do you think your answer to this 'friendship' should be? Your partner doesn't feel comfortable with your friendship, than you need to identify what the problem is. Are they jealous? Are they justified in being jealous? Is your friendship with this person worth the arguments, mistrust, and destruction of your relationship?
When you'd rather hang out every other day after work than go home to your family, what are you hiding away from? Get your butt home to your wife and kids!
[polldaddy poll=4641970]
Monday, February 28, 2011
￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil
It's almost time to pimp my ass for a pay cheque. Going back to work to get paid by The Man in the corporate world so my family can enjoy new clothes, good food, toys, and hopefully a vacation can be snuck in there too. And dear I dream to retire early. I'll probably still work, but only because I want to, not because I have to.
As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs. We don't really need for anything. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc. But, which kid doesn't want another toy? Which husband doesn't want more golf anything? And which wife doesn't want more everything?
Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early. A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing. You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month. I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later. I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before. Probably a bit too often.
But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby. I love the freedom to breast feed on demand. To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing. I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands. Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy. I'd love to stay at home with the kids. Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to. I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home. I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home. It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.
I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son. I only hope that I'm doing a good job. I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding. Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future. I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.
People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out. I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches. But, for me, there is no decision to make. I have to go back. Money is a necessary evil in this world. It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want. Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself. The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day. I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like. Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart. It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive. He's here as a loving husband and father.
Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor. Travel the world like the slums of xyz, then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country. Oh Canada! We have free health care. Welfare. Public housing. Food Banks. Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world. Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things. If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills? Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank? If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you? Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.
[polldaddy poll=4636753]
As we budget my maternity leave income it's a constant battle of wants vs. needs. We don't really need for anything. We have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, closet filled with clothes, too much toys, cars, etc. But, which kid doesn't want another toy? Which husband doesn't want more golf anything? And which wife doesn't want more everything?
Sometimes, I wonder if I should go back to work early. A maternity leave income when you are carrying a mortgage and maintaining a home is not the easiest thing. You have to balance quality of life and balance the bank account with the bills that come in every month. I'd love to stick my head in the sand and just spend without abandon and stick every piece of mail into a garbage bag to deal with later. I'd be lying if I said I have never done that before. Probably a bit too often.
But, as much as I like the money a full-time career provides, I will not cut short my limited time with my baby. I love the freedom to breast feed on demand. To be able to take a nap for an hour when my new born loved his 3am curtain calls for an entire show of food, diaper change, and singing. I'm looking forward to making baby his first foods with my loving hands. Not so much the adult-like poos that will follow, but will be worth it to see him grow up happy and healthy. I'd love to stay at home with the kids. Have them come home for lunch to a hot meal, like I used to. I'd love to be able to sell my crochet stuff for a bit of extra cash and maybe a website that sells items that would help me be able to stay at home. I currently enjoy my job, and fortunately, it allows flexibility to work from home. It's a bit of a commute, but I love working with adult learners teaching them technology.
I am so lucky to have a whole year off to be able to be there for my son. I only hope that I'm doing a good job. I will give him my all my love, patience, dedication, and understanding. Then it's 12-hr days away from him as I need to make that money to invest in his future. I can only imagine how much University will be by the time my kids go to school.
People sometimes ask if I will be going back to work after my maternity runs out. I'm sure that's a decision every woman has to make as the time approaches. But, for me, there is no decision to make. I have to go back. Money is a necessary evil in this world. It buys the freedom to get what you want and go where you want, when you want. Dialysis itself every night is a job in itself. The Husband did both for 10-years, but the disease is reaching another level and has him working on a quality of life living on this disease that is draining him on a good day. I'd rather not share what bad-bad days are like. Perhaps in a post when I need to purge the sadness in my heart. It's always there deep down inside, sometimes on the verge engulfing my strength and making me cry in sleep, but for the most part, I focus on the positive. He's here as a loving husband and father.
Although, in the western world, one can never be poor poor. Travel the world like the slums of xyz, then you can truly appreciate all the riches of our great country. Oh Canada! We have free health care. Welfare. Public housing. Food Banks. Programs to rehabilitate you into the working world. Any one of us could be one pay cheque away from using these things. If your partner suddenly became sick, would you be able to still pay the bills? Suppose you suddenly get laid off and can't find work for several months, will you have to consider using a food bank? If you lose your house in a fire and have to start over, could you? Give to charities because hope you never have to use it.
[polldaddy poll=4636753]
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Haters are gonna Hate
One of my Darlings called me the other day to rant about her youth life. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but is teenage life ever that? Sadly, there are a few haters in her school that are giving her a hard time. My MaMa Bear instinct kicked in and I wanted to go down there and kick all those biatches azzes! Excuse the language. When I need to throw down, the ignorant girl in me comes out.
I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse. Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right? Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?! I try being the "cool" aunt. I listen. I try to relate. I did let a couple of swear words slip out. Real mature. I know. :P
I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down. FuKc them. Don't bother with foolishness. Surround yourself with only positive solid people. Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you. They never go away. You'll have them at school. At work. At the gym. At the club. At the park. At your kid's activities. Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that. Don't get sucked into their b.s.
With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated. Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns. Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them. When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do we go to her principal? Do I tell her parents? Do we call the girl's parents? Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?
It's a fine line sometimes. Some people need to be put in their place. Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business. You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow. But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done. They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.
How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school. My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'. Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst. Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?
I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days. All I know is I don't business with them people no more. I left the drama. I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face. I'm married with children living in the suburbs. I don't have time for that b.s.
No more drama.
note: check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II. Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!). His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.
[polldaddy poll=4628048]
I sit and listen. I can't get riled up and make the situation worse. Adults are supposed to be calm and filled with reason right? Where the heck is my manual on being an adult?! I try being the "cool" aunt. I listen. I try to relate. I did let a couple of swear words slip out. Real mature. I know. :P
I have the same advice for her as I do with anyone dealing with haters who try to bring them down. FuKc them. Don't bother with foolishness. Surround yourself with only positive solid people. Why waste your friendship, kindness, jokes, secrets, and positive energy on people who don't appreciate it, hate you for it or use you. They never go away. You'll have them at school. At work. At the gym. At the club. At the park. At your kid's activities. Your doing well in life and the Hater hates that. Don't get sucked into their b.s.
With expulsion for bullying in high school these days, on paper it looks like it would not be tolerated. Sadly, there are too many stories out there about cyber-bullying, groups being formed just to hate (which forms a mob mentality, which is never a good thing when used for negative assembly), swarmings, and guns. Maybe it's just the parent in me, but I fear for them. When she told me about this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do we go to her principal? Do I tell her parents? Do we call the girl's parents? Do I go kick this b!4Tch'2 a$$?
It's a fine line sometimes. Some people need to be put in their place. Who do they think they are running their mouths like they know your business. You keep turning the other cheek, but you're starting to get beat up with each insulting blow. But, when you see people getting jumped over some 'look' of disrespect or being shot because you bumped someone without saying sorry, who knows what should be done. They might be carrying a gun or are a bunch of cowards who fight 10 against 1.
How fights were handled were different in my brother's time in high school. My days they started using the buzz words of 'swarmings'. Now, with the several young people being shot dead this last summer it makes me fear the worst. Has the suburbs made me 'soft' or 'smart'?
I've seen my share of people getting jumped, bad people, and the like in my younger days. All I know is I don't business with them people no more. I left the drama. I cut off people who talk $hit behind my back, but friend me up to my face. I'm married with children living in the suburbs. I don't have time for that b.s.
No more drama.
note: check out comedian Katt William's Pimp Chronicles Part I and II. Love his bit about haters and taking care of your star player (YOU!). His stuff is a bit raw for sensitive ears, but his message is real.
[polldaddy poll=4628048]
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