What's Next??

Blog. Blog. Blog.  I have tons of ideas that I want to write about.  Sometimes, inspiration comes from my life, your life, the news, TV, observations while I'm out, surfing the net, even FB posts!  It takes just one word,a sentence, an action, an expression on someone's face, to spark a fire within my head and heart.  I jot down the idea, sometimes it's just a title or an example, so I can flush out the thoughts later.

Some feelings and ideas are just so "there" that the words just flow out of my fingertips and the post is completed within minutes.  Sort of like the I HATE YOU post.  I was furious and just needed to get it out of my heart.  I don't want that kind of ugliness lingering around, hence I blog.  I used to write on a piece of paper/a diary/even the back of an envelope, just so I can get it out of my system and release myself from the drudgery of poisonous emotions.  Now, I can "embarrass" myself for the world to read.  (The World...aren't I modest LOL...a girl can Like, Comment, and a Dream right?)

Do you ever get a thought or idea, be it positive or negative, in your head and it just repeats itself over and over and over.  Even a compliment about how I've lost weight can take a sinister turn and all of a sudden "I'm so fat.  Look at my thunder thighs.  I'm huge.  I've got a big belly.  I need to lose weight.  My arms wave" are on repeat in my head.  It's not always so negative.  It could also go "You hot, girl.  Working out is paying off.  Need new clothes for this skinny body.  Have to get a mani/pedi.  Look good.  Feeling GREAT!  They noticed!  They noticed!".  Crazy.  I know.  Hence why I blog to analyze and move on.

Well, these  ideas are starting to build up.  I've got a list of Draft posts waiting to be explored and posted.  There are so many now that I don't know what should be next.  I pulled up the list and it seems like so many, that I just start a new one about something else and leave these behind.

They are all worthy of my thoughts and emotions that I will put into them.  Sometimes. I just don't have time or it's because the emotions involved while I write them are just too heavy.  Like how we found out Franklin had kidney problems post in response from just an  inquiry from a friend.  It took me a while to write it because I didn't want to feel the fear, disappointment, nor anger again.  I've always wanted to document our kidney journey.  The emotions.  The milestones.  Her question helped kick the dust off.

It's funny how it starts with an idea, and as I write, I ramble on and by the end of the post, I'm left with a whole different perspective and/or emotion.  Quite the amusement ride and I Love it!

Below is the lengthy list of posts waiting to be blogged about.  For most, the title gives you the basic idea.  For the others, well, you'll just have to choose and see!  Exciting??  LOL...to me it is.  I know.  I'm lame :P

What would you like to read about next??:

1. Organ Trafficking - A Dialysis Patient's Perspective


2. Cancer Caps - Warriors and Survivors Should be Stylish TOO!


3. Fish and Chips Diet


4. Another Year - Still Stuck With Him - Reflection of the Last Year


5. From Both Ends - Return of the POO and MORE!


6. No Strings Attached - yeah right :P


7. The Novelty has Worn OFF - or has it??


8. ￠€£$￥ - The Necessary Evil


9. Diet Basics


10. MaMa's Milk


11. Parent, Friend or Both


12. Say it. Forget it.  Write it. Regret it.


13. Dialysis at Sea - Possible?

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Second and third helpings please!

I am watching way too much reality TV.  Particularly the ones dealing with food.  Not sure if it has any correlation with my current dieting state.  The old "you want what you can't have" adage.  For me, I want food.  For you, maybe it's a bit more out of your reach.  A man/woman?  A motorcycle?  World travel for a year?

One show I have to stop watching is Man vs Food.  I still think it's way too much.  Well, most of the time.  I think I'm becoming desensitized to the amount of food that would considered disturbing.  Yikes!  12 egg omelet.  Is that really so bad?  Who doesn't eat bacon and home fries with their eggs?  So what if the total weight including the cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, peppers, and green onions total 5-lbs.  The vegetables don't count.  Add those to the 'eating healthy' category.  And the 'lying to yourself' category too. lol

Watching Cupcake Wars or baking competitions, just puts me in the mood for some form of baked good.  Cookie, cake, bar, muffin, whatever!

Sadly, even some disgusting combos sound possible.  Check out this site This is Why You're Fat Pretty funny.

If I suspend my disbelief of the caloric intake for just one meal I can actually enjoy my wings, chili, pizza, chip & dip, and desserts.  Hey, suspension of disbelief is the foundation of most of Hollywood movies.  LaLaLand can't be wrong. Right?!  haha

You can pretend years of over-eating, debauchery, smoking, recreational drug use, spending beyond your means, etc is o.k., but it will all catch up it you one day.  You'll end up broke, fat, with some form of organ damage.

I said years of abuse.  This weekend is OK though.  Diet Schmiet

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All I want for Valentines is...

In my youth I bought into all the commercialized brain washing of expectations from my Valentine.  You know.  Godiva chocolates, long stem roses, Gund doll, mushy card, expensive dinner and dessert, drinks at 51st floor of the Manulife Centre's Panorama to enjoy the view while dressed in new shoes, outfit, and my nails, hair and face done, then off to a luxury Hotel.  Then that became too little.   Then I wanted trips!  Nothing ridiculous.  Just short ones.  Niagara Fall or Montreal in addition to everything else.

Then Franklin's health was starting to dwindle in our early twenties.  When we found out he had kidney issues (read how we found out here) all I wanted was for him to survive.  He did.  Sure there were hospital stays, surgeries, moving out of his parents home to accommodate the dialysis at home, he was the only one with income (disability from work, I just finished University), etc, but he was at least 'stable'.  Now, all I wanted was stuff that didn't take money.  A good home-cooked meal.  A card that he wrote his heart filled love talk.  Draw me a hot bath.

Well, we've come full circle.  I want the best of both worlds.  Feed me.  Declare your undying love.  But, also wake up early with the kids so I can sleep in.  Feed the family AND do the dishes.

As you get older you come to realize that Valentines is just one over-priced, means nothing get-out-of-jail-for-slacking-the-other-364-days day.  (I'm not that old, but my soul is.  This life path ages you)  I am really selfish.  I want Valentines EVERYDAY and that is not asking too much.   A happy wife happy life post keeps things in check for me.  But, if I could only ask for one thing it would be for him to take care of himself so I won't have to.  Give me that gift everyday, and I'll be happy.

I lie.  I want that AND jewelry, chocolates, and to sleep in.  Hey, I'm still human, not a saint.  Everyone has to have a little bling :)

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Easy Delicious Candied Almonds

Another snack for you.  Easy and  Delicious.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup water


• 1 cup white sugar


• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon


• 2 cups whole almonds

Directions

1. Combine the water, sugar, and cinnamon in a saucepan over medium heat; bring to a boil; add the almonds. Cook and stir the mixture until the liquid evaporates completely leaves a sandy-like coating on the almonds. Pour the almonds onto a baking sheet lined with waxed or parchment paper. Separate almonds using forks. Allow to cool about 15 minutes.

Please put him on dialysis Doc

So, you learned how we found out Franklin had kidney problems in The Beginning of this Lifetime Journey post.  The next several months were rough.  His kidneys were slowly dying.  He was staying in bed for days.  He was tired all the time, lost so much weight (down to 120-lbs), still had headaches, and was down to less than 10% kidney function.

We talked to my dear aunty and uncle.  Uncle (2nd cousin, but a lot older than me, hence calling him Uncle out of respect) was on dialysis.   They were the only people we knew who were actually on dialysis and we wanted to know more information about it.  Reading pamphlets doesn't really give you the reality of doing/living it.  The pros and cons.  Which one is better.  Each department, hemodialysis or peritoneal dialysis, have their own agenda.  The more patients they have, the more funding they get.  Sounds cynical?  Maybe.  But, very real.

They were so helpful and told us what worked for them.  They helped more than anyone thus far.  I am forever indebted for their openness and guidance.

I remember sitting in the doctor's office at the hospital and pleading with her to put him on dialysis.  Please do not wait until he is on death-bed and cannot take care of himself.   I still don't understand the hold up.  We still had trust and belief in the health care system.  We were so naïve.

Her answer was to go to Emergency.  It was the only way we could get a bed to then try and get into surgery.  WTF?!  Well, we did.  We sat in emergency for HOURS.  Not just a few.  I mean 24+ hrs!  We wanted to leave, get something to eat and give our gurney to someone else while we wait in the waiting room with the tv.  They advised if we left, our bed would be gone.  We shouldn't stay in the t.v. room because  when the doctor comes by and should we not be there, we would lose our spot and would be assumed gone.  No, we will not call you.

We were young.  We didn't know how the health care craziness works.

Careful what you wish for.  You might just get it.



 

Snack Mix

The original recipe for this snack mix is made with three different cereals, seasonings, onion powder, garlic powder, peanuts, pecans, and walnuts from about.com.  I've changed it based on what works for me - what I have on-hand and what The Boy likes best.  I learned which  one he prefers from when he picked out the cereal he liked from the first time I made it based on the original recipe.

Every adult and kid who has tried it ALWAYS eats it.   It makes A LOT.  Cut the ingredients in 1/2 if you prefer a smaller batch.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups Crispix cereal


• 2 cups Multi-Grain Cheerios cereal


• 1 cup Gold brand pretzel sticks


• 2 cups whole almonds (unsalted)


• 2 cups cashews (used salted because that's what I had, but would try unsalted next time)


• 1 cup whole wheat Gold Fish crackers


• 1/2 cup butter or margarine


• 4 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce


• 1 teaspoon celery salt


• 1 teaspoon onion powder


• 1/2 rounded teaspoon garlic powder

Preparation:

Measure cereals, pretzel sticks, nuts, and crackers into a large bowl or food storage bag; gently stir or toss to combine.

In a large, deep skillet, melt margarine with Worcestershire sauce. Add celery salt, onion powder and garlic powder. Stir mixture to blend.   Pour over cereal mixture and with a spatula, keep turning until all pieces are coated. Spread out on 2 large baking sheets (with sides) and place in oven for 1 hour at 250°C. When cool, store in tightly covered container.

ENJOY!

Bitch & Stitch Session

It's not just your grandmother's past time anymore.  Knitting and crocheting is a great way to be creative, keep your mind sharp, and relieve stress.  If Sex in the City star does it in public, it can't be too lame right?



I know the basics of knitting too, but I'm not too quick.  I prefer to crocheting.   For me, it's faster and easier.  I recently crocheted a Spiderman ski mask for The Boy.  He loved it and it has been super useful during this cold snap.  I bought the right shade of red and pale yellow to attempt an iron man ski  mask.  Now, just trying to get motivated to make it. I have to be in the mood to crochet, otherwise it's just work.   Much like 'other things' in life too *wiggles eyebrows* heehee.

Not sure if there is interest, but I'll put it out there.  Anyone interested in getting together to crochet/knit over some snacks/wine/coffee?   Some ideas come to mind for a get together:

• Newbie session - you don't know how, but we can teach each other


• Help the Homeless - we each make a couple of granny squares during the session and make a blanket


• Keep Preemies Warm - we could make a preemie hat to donate to hospitals


• Work on your own stuff with an excuse to b*tch about our husbands/bf/both (LOL), see each other  and eat rich food

Hopefully I don't get caught up with all these questions in my head or suffer Paralysis by Analysis.

Date, time, location, topic will be arranged based on interest.  Vote using the poll below or comment and let me know if you want to make a made-with-love, hand-crafted, cool hat/toy/blanket/booties/mitts for your special person.

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