Back Yard Oasis - The Dream

I’m talking gardening people.  Thought it was something else since this one comes after my post about body hair care? HA!  Durrrty minds.

Anyway, I don’t have something that erotic to talk about.  Just plain ol’ gardening.  My Mom has a beautiful garden with tons of roses, flowers, apples, scotch bonnet peppers, etc.  The lovely roses I think are the best.  They smell so good and she has so many colours.

Since I’m on mat. leave during this summer I might as well try my green thumb.  Or more like my death thumb.  All my flowers and plants die.  I even had 4 fighter fish!  They are supposed to be easy to care for.  Yeah right.  I remember I wanted to help Franklin out since he always changed the water.  I wanted to surprise him and complete the chore.  While I’m changing the water I want only the best for my fish, so I pull out the britta from the fridge.  Clean water.  If it’s good enough for me to drink, it’s good enough for my beloved fighter.  Filler up.   As soon as I pour the fish back into his clean home, he instantly dies and is floating.  woops!  The second time around I wanted the fighter fish to have a buddy.  Now I know enough about fish that putting two together would not be a good idea.  So I bought a small gold fish to keep him company.  Don’t you know the bully started bumping him.  One morning the gold fish is kinda floating at the top, but I have to go out and figure I’ll tend to it when I get back.  Well, I’m gone  all weekend.  When I get back both fish are dead!  Did you know, as soon as a fish dies, it’s body gives off toxins effecting the water.  Bye bye fighter fish 2.  It was your own darn fault!

But, I digress.  Gardening.  Right.  Seems it should be easy.  Maybe a couple of flowers for the front of the house and a few herbs and veggies in the back.  Franklin would to build some sort of gardening area and he’s not the most handiest of men (sorry  babe.  but, you know it’s true).  And although the flowers that bloom only once are prettier, I’d rather go with the ones that bloom every year.  This is starting to sound overwhelming and expensive.    I think I just blogged myself out of the idea.  But would love to make some type of backyard oasis.  A  hammock near by (love those things!) A swinging chair.  Kiddies playing in the little pool or sandbox.  Husband bbqing.  I love summer.  Even more while I’m on mat. leave.

Not sure if it’s a man thing, but Franklin though loves his lawn.  Spends hours each week!  He loves to check the height of the grass by placing a golf ball on it.  lol  He is definitely a golf nut.  It’s nice to walk in without shoes and feel the grass between your toes.  It’s like a nice thick carpet.  (I’m still talking gardening dirty people) LOL

Do you do any gardening?  If yes, what do you grow?

Body Hair Maintenance

As the warm weather makes an appearance intermittently I bust out the flip-flops.  I hate wearing socks.  But, seeing my dry heals and crusty nails shames me to put on some socks and shoes again.  I  need a pedicure.  STAT!  But, that's just part of the 'spring cleaning' needed.  Legs and arm pits are going to be exposed.  Living in this winter wonderland I think we grow our leg hairs to keep warm.  Well, that's what I tell The Husband.  But, my break is almost over.   It's time to decide how to do some body hair maintenance.

For my eyebrows, I prefer threading.  I don't mind waxing.  But, had one bad experience, so 'once bitten.  twice shy'.   The woman didn't have a taunt hold of my eyebrow before pulling the wax off and ended up ripping my tender skin where my eyelid was.  OUCH!  For my legs and armpits, it's shaving.  And the other places I will not mention.  I want to be able to look you in the eye, is all I"m sayin'.

I'm not sure who has the lessor evil in body hair maintenance.  Men or Women?  Men who have facial hair will have to shave almost everyday.  Where as woman can get by with a few weeks in between, albeit more places.  One times many or many times one.  hmmm.  I'd be lying if I said I was on top of it.  My hair needs a trim.  My legs need a lawn mower.  My eyebrows definitely could use some shaping.   And you could probably braid my arm pits. LMAO!  TMI?!

Baby Milestones

This time around I wasn't as neurotic.  Been there.  Done that.  My attitude was "he hasn't turned over yet.  Whew.  Now, I can still put him down and go to the bathroom real fast without worrying".   LOL  But, thankfully he is hitting them as expected.  My baby is crawling!  Pulling himself up!  and sporting two bumps in his gums. 

It is bitter sweet to see my children grow into big little people.  Particularly, my youngest.  He may be my last of the little ones.  I will never experience this again, so it is even more treasured.   I don't know how to describe it but, this overwhelming feeling that swells your heart to the point of tears in your eyes and happiness on your lips.  

I wanted to do somethings differently this time around.  First kid it was a bit or trial and error, but this time I was going to master putting this baby to sleep on his own.  Ha!  Nope.  Oh I know the theory.  Recognize the cues.  i.e. rubbing eyes, yawn, sleepy eyes.  Put him in the bed sleepy, but not asleep.  That way he'll fall asleep on his own.  Nope!   Of course when I talk to some other moms who were more successful with the sleep routine, they had their little ones sleeping on their own and sleeping 6 hrs within the first month.  Ah well.  Third times the charm right?

There are tons of charts online.  This one shows charts from birth to age 3. 

So far we're on point for the first 6 months:

Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
1 month	Lifts head when lying on tummy Responds to sound Stares at faces	Follows objects briefly with eyes Vocalizes: oohs and aahs Can see black-and-white patterns	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle
2 months	Vocalizes: gurgles and coos Follows objects across field of vision Notices his hands Holds head up for short periods	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle Makes smoother movements	Holds head steady Can bear weight on legs Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup)
3 months	Recognizes your face and scent Holds head steady Visually tracks moving objects	Squeals, gurgles, coos Blows bubbles Recognizes your voice Does mini-pushup	Rolls over, from tummy to back Turns toward loud sounds Can bring hands together, bats at toys
4 months	Smiles, laughs Can bear weight on legs Coos when you talk to him	Can grasp a toy Rolls over, from tummy to back	Imitates sounds: "baba," "dada" Cuts first tooth May be ready for solid foods
5 months	Distinguishes between bold colors Plays with his hands and feet	Recognizes own name Turns toward new sounds Rolls over in both directions	Sits momentarily without support Mouths objects Separation anxiety may begin
6 months	Turns toward sounds and voices Imitates sounds Rolls over in both directions	Is ready for solid foods Sits without support Mouths objects Passes objects from hand tohand	Lunges forward or starts crawling Jabbers or combines syllables Drags objects toward himself

Easter - Who's family?

I have not instilled the mythical creature of The Easter Bunny into my sons life yet.  We do not wake up in the morning and hunt for eggs.  I did organize the first egg hunt at my parents house, but then dropped off the duties.  For me, it has a bit more of a religious tone to it than the commercialized glitz of chocolate bunnies.  We never did anything like hunting for rabbits or dying eggs when I was young (immigrant childhood again!).  So, to me, it's not that big of a deal.  But, fortunately, my brother and his wife were kind enough to buy mini eggs for all the kids and hid them during our Easter family get together this year.  The kids had so much  fun.

For those who have a significant other as part of their life, trying to see all families during any special occasion takes careful planning and organizing.   Even with all of that, it still might not work out.  Franklin and I are lucky that we are able to split up our holidays between our parents.   This year it worked out again.  Friday for us.  Saturday for one.  Sunday for the other.  We had to move things around.  And fortunately, everything worked out.  Originally, it would have been lunch at one, dinner at another on the same day.  But, that's no good for anyone.  You don't get to fully enjoy the day with one family.   We'd have to leave his parent's place early to head back uptown to my family's dinner.   We'd be too full from his mom's cooking to enjoy my mom's cooking. 

Now, if you have parents who are divorced it's just that much more difficult to enjoy everyone's company.  Mom's family side.  Dad's family side.  Partner's Mom's family side.  Partner's Dad's family side.  And if you should have kids, when do you squeeze in family time?! 

Then if you're still young and have no kids, when do you squeeze in the party time?  Recover from the debauchery time?

I was able to squeeze in some baking.  Mini blueberry Bundt cakes.  Banana muffin caps.  Banana chocolate chip mini loaves.  Snack mix.  Not traditional, but I wanted to use my new pans.  I think some mini-square Blondies are up next.  Or maybe peanut butter mini-squares with chocolate chips.  Fundgey something for sure.

On a brighter side.  MORE EASTER EATS continues!  Bun and Cheese!

Can Borrow Your ...

Whether it's a pen, book, clothes, money, car, shoes, purse, cd, ipod, DS, gaming system, toy, movie, pan, record, skates, toboggan, car seat, WHATEVER! If you want to borrow people's items, there are two golden rules:

1. return the item in the same condition you borrowed it, in a timely manner or agreed time frame
2. do not constantly borrow it.  if it's more than twice in a month, it's time
   

Follow these rules and family/friends/neighbours/co-workers will be more likely to lend it to you without the stinky attitude that can come with an item when they reluctantly lend it to you when they really don't want to.
My mom has quite a collection of cartoons since she helped raise all of the grandchildren.  Now, when we leave sometimes Marcus is watching one of the movies.  We are not waiting till it's over, so in typical toddler dramatics he cries.  I HAVE TO watch this movie.  I've been there.  But, I just don't cry outwardly.  My mom is kind enough to let us take it home to watch the rest.  This has happened several times.  So, on one of her visits to our place she asked about the movies.  Marcus didn't want to give them back!  oh baby! sigh.

Someone else was venting to me about a neighbour of his.  His buddy borrowed his snow blower so often, he felt comfortable to just go into the garage and help himself without asking anymore.  See rule 2, neighbour guy.  I'm guilty of this too.  We've borrowed our neighbours snow blower a few times last season.  I felt guilty each time.  They are so freaking expensive!  We are lucky to have great neighbours, and JD offered his garage code so we can just help ourselves whenever we need it.  Thank you very much, but, I'd rather not.  We will get one.  I don't want to be 'the neighbour' that borrows stuff and breaking rule 2.  I think that's why we're such good friends/neighbours.  We don't impose.  Or maybe that's my Asian upbringing.  IDK.  But, when the snow was ridiculous, we asked all the same.

Now, if you follow rule 1 and 2, people won't hesitate to lend it to you because they know they'll get it back.  It's when you have to think 'do I really want to give away aka lend' depending on the borrower, that will have everyone thinking twice. 

Don't ruin someone's generous and kind nature for the rest of us.

Grass is always greener

As we eat our fried egg sandwiches with cheese, Marcus wants to have a bite of mine.  Sure.  Have a bite of mine.  Eat yours.  Just eat up buddy.   Yours is so good mommy.  It's the same thing son.  Can I have yours mommy?  It's the same thing son.  Can we trade then mommy.  It's the same thing son. Please!  uh...OK!

Whether it is an egg sandwich, chips, etc, doesn't someone else's seem to taste better.   I usually get something different than whatever Franklin orders so we can 'share' or at least a couple of bites.  It's like having two meals in one!  It takes me forever to decide and I usually feel like I ordered the wrong one and everyone else's food looks better.  Sometimes there are just too many choices and it all looks good.

But, besides food, on some days it feels like everything else is better for the other person.  Be it job, spouse, lawn, car, house, etc  I guess that's how the saying "grass is always greener on the other side" came from.  That emotion that the other guys is always winning.  Well, if you could just love what you have now, you'll always be the winner.  I'm not saying to settle, but while you're striving to get the bigger house, nicer car, longer vacation, brand name purse, clothes, shoes, etc love what you have now until that day comes.

 

Someone will always be richer, skinnier, have a bigger house, smaller ankles, longer legs, smaller/bigger boobs, better job, etc.  But, for me, my husband, kids, family, friends, body, sex life, clothes, shoes, house, cars, teeth, breath, eyebrows, nails, hair, furniture, vacations, and life are perfect.  Too much, too little, non-existent.  I love it all.

Lighten your Life's Load

Whether it is a grudge, a negative emotion, a loved one, or even a ratty old sweater from your old boyfriend from high school, letting go is never easy.  But, letting all that emotion and/or junk (sometimes it's both) just stay in  your head and heart is like letting it all live rent free while mooching off of your kindness, generosity, and space, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 

As I drive and somebody cuts me off and then slows down, I'm PISSED!  I ride them.  I zoom pass them and flip them the bird.  And even after all that is said and done, I'm still driving too aggressively.  Let it go!
Ever have a relationship/friendship that just sucked the life out of you?  Your friend borrowed your favourite whatever and never gave it back.  Then she confesses she actually lost/damaged it.  Let it go!  He's a great guy, just not a great boyfriend.  As much as you think you are perfect for each other, you fight more than you are happy together.  Let him go!

I had many sentimental items from passed loves.  Letters he'd leave in my locker, poems about his undying love, dried flowers from all the birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, and just-because days, dolls he won me from The Ex, clothes I've borrowed when it was cold, books that you thought I'd enjoy, etc  Combine that with my hoarderness and I have way too much stuff.   Time to Let it go!

Sometimes I'm too quick to let go.  I'm sure if I stuck by some people, I'd still have them in my life.  But, I have enough drama I certainly don't need any extra.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not a fair-weather friend.  I will do all that I can to help you, but I need you to also help yourself first.  I don't tolerate slackers very well.  There's time to slack.  I'm far from a workaholic these days.  I recognize what's a priority for right now.  Definitely different then in our youth when we lived in an apartment downtown with no kids.  Maybe some people I've let go too quickly without giving them a real chance to stay in my life.  But, why live with regrets.  I make the best decision based on the information I had at the time. 
I don't hold on to dead weight.  It just slows me down.